of a
BLACK GAY MAN
into
FROT
by
Warrior Delaware Brother
Hey warrior dudes,
It's Warrior Bill with a brief preface.
In these short, sharp pieces, Warrior Delaware Brother speaks incisively to three aspects of his life: being Black, being gay, and being into frot.
In an email to me he wrote,
"I've noticed the butt-fuck tyranny for years. I get so tired of being asked top or bottom. Of course there is top and bottom in frottage but the question they are really asking is 'Am I gonna fuck you or are you gonna fuck me?' The real reaction comes when I explain, I'm not into anal sex.
"I stumbled upon your Hyacinthine Love article back in December and knew I had to use it for something. It also put into words what I have been feeling for the longest time and helped motivate me to begin producing the DB site."
I thank Delaware Brother for sharing his invaluable personal testament. And I also thank him for his gracious acknowledgment of the inspiration he received from my own autobiographical work. That's one of the reasons I put Hyacinthine Love out there and continue to put so much effort into these sites and this Alliance. I hope other people reading me or Delaware Brother or the brave warriors in Warriors Speak and Personal Stories will feel moved to share their own true histories - which, in turn, will inspire others to be true to themselves and help end the tyranny of anal sex.
DICK2DICK and COCKRUB WARRIORS RULE
bill
of a
BLACK GAY MAN
into
FROT
by
Warrior Delaware Brother
Turned out Right
I'm forever grateful to the brother who turned me out almost 30 years ago. He's probably the reason I'm HIV - today. I still remember his name and can still locate him but I'll spare the details. He connected me with my erotic center and taught me something about safer sex at the same time. This was long before the need.
When I first arrived at my first friend's apartment, I sat in the corner like the shy college sophomore I was. We talked and listened to the slow jams of the day, Smokey, the Delfonics, Blue Magic and Marvin Gaye.
Finally, he convinced me to sit with him on the edge of the bed and my sexual journey began. He hugged, kissed and rubbed me in ways I had never been touched before. We slowly undressed each other.
He lay me on my back and opened my legs. He then lowered himself onto me putting his humongous on top of mine. With his hands and body motion he taught me the rhythms essential to frottage. We kept up that rhythm all the while kissing, playing with nipples, and licking earlobes. He occasionally reached down and made sure our dicks remained touching. We came together.
After a short rest in each others arms, he lead me to the bathroom where we scrubbed our genitals and other areas. I was hooked on dick2dick. It has been at my erotic center ever since.
Me as Teacher
I remember well the joy of teaching a brother who was steeped in the anal sex dyad of top/bottom, the thrill of dick2dick. He was a large beefy brother with a killer smile and a huge dick that curved to the left. One of those warm hearted brothers who wraps himself around you. Sex with him was wonderful.
That Damn Question!I've gotten to the point where I hate to attend gay social functions. The stench of oppression from the "anal assumption", hangs over the room like the smell of butt cheeks. Invariably someone asks me that damn question, "Are you a top or a bottom?" This thought bubble --my internal response-- is not directed at anyone in particular. Rather, it is directed toward those countless brothers who continue to repeat that tired line. I haven't engaged in anal intercourse in years. It has never been at my erotic center. These days it makes no sense to place myself at risk engaging in something I don't crave in the first place. Thought Bubble: I was having a good time till you asked me that damn question! Even thought you were charming. Had started thinking this place wasn't so bad afterall, inspite of the smoke and the brothers fallin' all over themselves. Then you blew it. "Are you a top or a bottom?" I get so tired of that damn question! Tonight, I don't feel like screaming above loud music to explain, I prefer frottage (dick2dick). I ain't givin' up no booty and don't want yours neither. I Really don't feel like defending my manhood and sexual choices. I'm not havin' the butt-fuck debate this evening. I'll skip schooling you on the pleasures of dick2dick and the variety of ways men can relate to each other without putting themselves at risk. So... you get the standard shallow but charming conversation; sports, weather, job. Perhaps a complaint, "Why are they still playing that damn record!?" And by the way, "Why are you still asking that damn question!?" |
For more Musings of a Black Gay Man into Frot visit
http://www.geocities.com/debgm2000/
DB
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Lets just say it. The majority of gay men who have it, got it by letting some other man stick his dick up their ass. Gay culture tells them that's the way men have sex with men. No one challenges it. (see Missed Opportunity)
I am really not attracted to another man's asshole. Don't need nobody all up in mine neither.
What makes me hot is a brother's rock hard dick pressed up against my rock hard dick.
Chest to chest, lips locked, arms and legs tangled, two pelvises hump'n, rock hard dicks bump'n, balls thump'n; a liv'n, breath'n' throb'n, pulsat'n pretzel.
Now that's what I'm talk'n 'bout!
9-1-2002
I've come to the realization that I might not ever have sex with another man again. Days turn into weeks, and months. Years turn into more years.
Yet, I'm not feeling frustrated. Quite the contrary, I feel more powerful each day. I'm not talking about celibacy or some ex-gay lifestyle. Rather, I'm talking about choosing to live life on my own terms.
I've never liked anal sex. I don't like how it feels, how it smells, how it complicates the lives of those who engage in it. How it spreads disease and psychological confusion. How it continues to shorten the lives of people I love. What I dislike most is the fact that it has become the expected 'ritual' among gay (men who have sex with) men.
My decision not to give into the cultural pressure has left me lonely. Yet at the same time it has left me feeling very powerful. I grow more powerful each time I decide not to trade away my sense of what is right for me, my erotic center, just to share my bed with another man.
So I've come to the realization that I might not ever have sex with another man again. Instead of feeling sad, I'm feeling powerful.
Proud to be living life on my own terms.
warriordb
11-7-2004
I used to muse more often, just little snips of thought that would cross my brain. The past few months I've gotten out of the habit.
I guess that sitting around this weekend with the blue state blues thinking about the irony of gay marriage resulting in four more years of Bush got me started again. How it is that the issue of gay marriage masquarading as "moral values" became the deciding issue, when in truth most gay people, at least the ones I know, are without partners.
Further irony is that those of us who do not engage in that most exaulted of gay behaviors, buttfucking, have little or no prospects of finding partners either.
So I did some musing this weekend. Hope you enjoy...
If this top/bottom thing is so great.
Why is it every gay brother I know
is in perpetual search mode?
Shouldn't brothers be hookin' up like legos?
Will future generations look back and
declare us stupid!? 20+ years into the
HIV/AIDS epidemic and they couldn't
come up with an alternative to buttfucking!?
How many brothers have to
become infected and die before
those of us who ain't givin' up no
booty are no longer ridiculed?
How can brothers who take
offense at the slightest odor,
cuddle all night long on shit
stained sheets and call it romance?
Chuck
12-3-2004
It seems that whenever I muse about frot some brother steps forward to proclaim that anal sex allows people to feel close and connected. To which I reply bullshit! There is nothing inherent about anal sex that allows people to feel closer together. You can get the same thing by lying together holding each other listening to one another's heart beat and becoming conscious of your breathing becoming synchronized.
Besides, tell me when it is necessary to feel close to 50 strangers that one has met over the Internet, gathered in a hotel room, all pumping away all up in each other's asses? Free condoms and lube provided!
World AIDS day will be observed this coming Wednesday, December 1. We are now more than 20 years into the epidemic. African Americans, 12% of the US population, now account for more than 50% of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases. African American women make up three quarters of the HIV/AIDS cases in women. The rate among gay men increased by 17%. All this more than 20 years into a world epidemic!
Now, what you won't hear during the World AIDS observance anywhere but here. Brothers who don't give up the booty, "generally" don't get AIDS. "Generally" is the best I can do because there are no absolutes. As soon as someone proclaims an absolute, some fool with a cut on his dick is sure to let another fool with a gapping wound on his hand jerk him off and become infected. Short of that, brothers who don't give up the booty, "generally" don't get AIDS.
Why won't you hear this? Because since the 1970s anal sex has been promoted as essential to gay/msm culture. Everything else has been seen as the low-fat, low-sugar, low-sodium, low-taste alternative. Unfortunately, too many of us, including those of us on Black Dicks Rub Together have bought into the myth.
CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta has been running his special called, "RU+ Are You Positive?" this weekend. In the special is a 20-year old brother who has been diagnosed with AIDS. Yet, no one asks, Why the hell is a 20-year old brother being infected some 20+ years into the epidemic? We're all to blame for this one! Until, we all begin questioning our basic ASSumptions, we'll continue to see this and worse! Until we begin to challenge gay/msm culture which currently promotes death, we'll continue to see this and worse! Until we begin to fashion a gay/msm culture which promotes life, health and wellness, we'll continue to see this and worse!
I had a colonoscopy this past Monday, November 22. My doctor had me go in for the first one at age 48 two years earlier than usually recommended. He said, he detected some irregularities during a routine physical. Upon my first colonoscopy, they detected and removed a polyp. This put me on a three year schedule instead of the more leisurely 10-year schedule. Remembering a fine, former football player, turned sports writer acquaintance who died in his forties-I was in my 20s at the time-has led me to take this seriously. So at 51, I'm on my second colonoscopy.
My last check up was clear, so I'm now on a three to five year schedule.
Preparing for a colonoscopy sure makes on conscious of one's ass. After starving and then drinking the Fleet phospho-soda and intentionally giving one's self the runs, I thought to myself, there sure is a lot of shit up in there! How do people come to eroticize the asshole? There must have been some reason why the ancients learned to build the cooking fires away from the shit hole.
While in the endoscopy center, I became very conscious of the consent forms I was signing. They mentioned the possibility of excessive bleeding due to puncture. They mentioned that if there is excessive bleeding and the patient's blood gets on any member of the medical team, the blood will be tested for HIV. They mentioned that there is a possibility of infection from fecal matter getting into the blood stream. Added to that, while waiting I had the option of reading either women's magazines or medical journals. I chose a medical journal and read up on fecal incontinence. I had just gotten to the part about sphincter failure when I was called in for my exam. According to the article one of the main reasons is stretching and loss of musculature due to objects penetrating the anus. As I slipped into unconsciousness, I was aware that a lot of things can go wrong with one's ass.
Someone needs to tell gay/msm:
Your ass ain't a vagina!
All STIs including: Anal Cancer, Chlamydia trachomatis, Crptosporidium, Giardia lamblia, Herpes simplex virus, Human papilloma virus, Isospora belli, Microsporidia, Gonorrhea, Viral hepatitis types B & C, Syphilis and of course HIV are transmitted more easily by anal penetration than by vaginal penetration.
Yet, without question, we gay/msm have come to regard anal sex as essential. Even too many of us who chose to belong to Black Dicks Rub Together
So I ask yet again, Is anyone here really into frot?
8-14-2005
May you find what you're looking for
(sometimes it's a curse)
I met a very nice man several months ago.
We really enjoyed talking with each other.
It never went anywhere though.
He was looking for an asshole.
I sure hope he finds one!
DB
8-18-2007
You can't tell a fish he's all wet! No, I'm not just being my usual wise-ass self. As I've been experiencing our frustration, I've been thinking back to one area of communication that has always fascinated me. In essence it says that people make decisions based upon their cultural perspective, while not realizing that cultural perspective has anything to do with that decision. It's why the Plato's Cave connundrum which I've shared with you has always fascinated me.
I also saw Michael Moore's film SicKo recently. Not sure it was a wise decision as it left me rather depressed. What struck me was the way folks from other countries looked at Moore strangely as he asked them how much certain proceedures cost. From their cultural perspective health care is something that's provided as a function of need. It is not part of the profit system.
A British philosopher interviewed by Moore also said something curious which I'm still digesting. He said that if you keep people fearful and in debt, you can always control them. When asked if the American system will change, he said point blank, "No!"
So just as the gay cultural perspective leads men to engage in anal sex, so too does the prevailing politico-medical system lead people to believe that they are making "Evidence-based" decisions even though the data proves otherwise.
Yes, the fish is all wet. Just try to tell him.
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