When we think about sex, most of us don't think about culture.
Because desire, we feel, is something that comes from deep within.
In reality, however, the sexual choices we make are heavily influenced by culture.
And that's particularly true of non-reproductive sexual choices.
What this site is about is the way in which one culture, "gay male culture," has chosen and reinforces its definition of sex at the expense of others.
That definition of sex is anal penetration.
And by choosing to define sex as anal penetration, gay male culture has loosed upon itself and the world a host of ills.
The purpose of this site, and our work, is to change that definition, and in so doing, remedy those ills.
This page of the site contains terms commonly used on the site and in our work.
We hope you find them useful.
Most people are honest.
But some are not, and will infringe copyrights and steal intellectual property -- among other things.
At the present time, one person, hiding behind an internet pseudonym, is using ideas, concepts, and language which I created, without permission and without attribution.
For that reason, I am restating my copyright and ownership of the material which appears on this site.
In addition, I am marking certain key terms with the copyright symbol: ©.
That © means that like the rest of the written material, logos, and original artwork on this site, those terms cannot be used on websites or in print or other media without proper attribution and without written permission.
Those terms include but are not limited to Analism, Analist, BFD, Buttfuck Dictatorship, Cock Combat, Cockrub Warriors, Cultural Domination of Anal Sex, Cultural Tyranny of Butt-fucking, Dominant Culture of Anal Sex, Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration, Frot, Frot Bro(s), Frot Brotha(s), Frot Brother(s), Frot Buddy, Frot Buddies, Frot Budz, Frot Club, Frot Dude(s), Frot Guy(s), Frot Hermano(s), Frot Mate(s), Frot Man, Frot Men, Frot Stud(s), Heroic Homosex, The Man2Man Alliance, Men who Love Men, Natural Male Sex Aggression, Phallic bonding, Phallic mating, and Phallic Fidelity.
If you have any doubt about your use of these words or any other content from this site, please write to me.
© All material on this site is Copyright 2000 - 2011 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.
Key terms appear in Red.
Analism ©
Analist ©
BFD ©
Cultural Domination of Anal Sex © -- see Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Cultural Tyranny of Anal Sex © -- see Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Cultural Tyranny of Butt-fucking © -- see Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Dominant Culture of Anal Sex ©
Frot ©
Frot brother ©, Frot brothers ©
Frot hermano ©, Frot hermanos ©
Frot man ©
Frot men ©
MLM ©
Refraining from sexual activity; among AIDS anthropologists and epidemiologists, abstinence is sometimes referred to as "delayed age of sexual onset," and refers specifically to adolescents.
The Man2Man Alliance endorses abstinence in two situations.
1. Among adult Frot Men who find themselves being pressured to take part in anal penetration and promiscuity:
For a Frot Man to choose abstinence rather than take part in a form of sex he dislikes and which is dangerous as well, is good -- it's a response which protects both his integrity and his health, and gives him time to look for a long term relationship with another Frot guy -- which is what he needs;
2. and among young people:
Delaying sexual onset -- abstinence -- is just as important for gay young people as for other teens.
Gay teens and gay men are not members of some alien species.
We're human beings, and we have the same needs for purity and security in our emotional and sexual relationships as heterosexual people.
And the best way for you as a young gay person to achieve those goals is to abstain from sex until you're sure you've met the man with whom you will spend the rest of your life.
To understand more about abstinence, promiscuity, STD, and Fidelity, visitors may wish to read our Man2Man Alliance policy paper, Why Be Faithful?
The insertion of the male's erect penis into the anus and rectum of a male or female partner.
Although anal penetration is more commonly called "anal sex," "anal intercourse," or "anal sexual intercourse," we avoid those terms because they imply a correspondence between penile-vaginal sex, which is true genital-genital intercourse, and anal penetration, which is the fetishistic penetration of a non-genital organ of excretion.
Among gay men, this painful act of penetration of one man by another is far more about power, brutality, and domination, than it is about love or even sex.
As one Alliance member says, "There's no male connection, no bond, just raw lust. It's not sex or love, it's violence and power. The problem is implied in the culturally-coerced masculine/feminine roles."
Those "culturally-coerced masculine/feminine roles" in anal penetration, which are most commonly known as top (for anally-insertive) and bottom (for anally-receptive), create severe power inequalities and a hieratic structure among men who practice anal penetration.
See, in that regard, and to better understand the power relationships between insertive and receptive actors, entries on Dom/Sub, effeminacy, intergendered, top, and bottom.
In addition, anal penetration is dirty -- because fecal material is always present; dangerous -- because it's a vector for virtually every STI and frequently results in mechanical damage to the rectum and/or anus; and degrading -- because it turns a man into a proxy for a woman, and a woman into a mere receptacle for a man's penis and ejaculate.
Despite these many problems, including the loss of close to half-a-million gay and bi male lives to an anally-transmitted disease, and despite the fact that prior to 1975 anal penetration was not the pre-eminent gay male sex act, for almost three decades anal penetration has been unceasingly exalted and romanticized by mainstream gay male culture, and so remains the defining act of that culture, a dominant culture of anal penetration.
For more about the history of anal penetration among gay men and the cultural forces which currently support what is nothing more than a *simulated* act of sexual intercourse, see our Man2Man Alliance policy paper Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love.
Analism ©
The belief that the defining sexual act of men who have sex with men is anal penetration.
Synonymous with the dominant culture of anal penetration.
See also analist, below.
Analist ©
1. Noun: One who supports, by word or deed, the dominant culture of anal penetration.
2. Adjective: characteristic of the dominant culture of anal penetration, as in "analist thinking."
Further explanation:
Adherents of a dominant culture are named, usually, based upon the name given the culture.
For example, "communists" supported "communism" and "fascists" "fascism."
In our writing about the dominant culture of anal penetration, or analism ©,
we refer to "analists."
An analist is to the dominant culture of anal sex as a White Supremacist is to segregation.
Both are agents of the majority culture who work through word and deed to keep cultural norms in place and in power.
A good example of an analist is Dr. Stephen Goldstone of GayHealth.com, who in his writing and advice columns seeks to facilitate and encourage men to participate in anal penetration even while acknowledging that "an anus is not a vagina" and that anal penetration is "the highest risk sex act [sic] that men who have sex with men can perform."
Slang for the receptive partner in anal penetration and/or for his anus.
See also bottom; and effeminacy.
BFD ©
Acronym for the ButtFuck Dictatorship, a colloquial expression, per Gay Liberation's Heterosexual Dictatorship, for the Dominant Culture of Anal Sex.
Colloquial synonym for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
The receptive partner in anal penetration. "Bottom" can be used as a noun or a verb: he's a bottom; or, he bottoms -- that is, takes the receptive role during anal penetration.
Synonyms: bitch, femme, submissive.
See also Dom/Sub
Slang for receptive partner in anal penetration.
See also bottom; effeminacy.
Buttfuck Dictatorship ©
Colloquial expression, per Gay Liberation's the Heterosexual Dictatorship, for the Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration; sometimes abbreviated to BFD.
Cock combat ©
The male-male erotic practice of staging mock battles or competitions using the erect penis of each partner as "weapons."
Styles and rules vary:
Partners may stand with hands on hips, or grasping the penis at the base of the shaft; penises may be slapped together, rubbed together, or "rammed" vigorously; the testicles may or may not be legitimate targets.
The goal of the competition may be to force the other man to ejaculate; or to cause him to lose his erection; or, more frequently, simply to have fun and to finish with mutual ejaculations.
Though normally an affiliative and friendly, frankly erotic activity, penis-fighting between straight-identified males who are enemies can be, though still erotic, both painful and brutal.
Interested readers can click here for an adult and very graphic first-person account of the latter sort of penis-fight.
Colloquial synonyms include cock battle, cock combat, cockfighting, dickfites, and swordfights.
Please note: not all Frot men are into cock combat. Most are not.
But there is often, though not always, a playfully combative aspect to Frot.
See also Combat sports, natural male sex aggression.
Colloquial term for Penis-fighting.
Colloquial term for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Colloquial term for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Cockrub Warriors ©
The original Frot club created by Bill Weintraub in October 2000.
The word "warriors" in the title of the club was not meant to be and is not a reference to cock combat.
Rather, the word "warriors" is intended to honor and empower all those Frot men who have stayed true to their erotic center and to their dreams by resisting the pressure and coercion to participate in anal penetration, and have instead sought to find another Frot man to be their buddy and/or lover.
Thus, the phrase "Cockrub Warriors Rule" is both a salute to those men and an invocation of the power of Frot and phallic bonding in the lives of men who love men.
Sports defined by one-on-one fighting, including boxing, wrestling, pancration, and the various martial arts.
In the ancient Greek and Roman world, three of these sports -- boxing, wrestling, and pancration -- were fought nude, and though not explicitly erotic, there was genital contact during the contests.
Many men into Frot are also involved in combat sports, and find fighting in general to be erotic.
Please note that those men are not necessarily into cock combat, but may seek a mildly combative element in their love-making.
Please note also that not all men into Frot are also into fighting; some are, and some are not.
See also natural male sex aggression.
Public health programs intended to reduce the prevalence of HIV and other STDs through the use of condoms.
Designed orginally to address the discrete epidemic of HIV/AIDS among gay and bisexual men in America, condom campaigns are today the most common form of AIDS prevention program in the world, even in places like Sub Saharan Africa (SSA), where the epidemic is generalized.
In condom campaigns, members of the targeted group, whether they be affluent urban gay men or the African rural poor, are inundated with cultural messages instructing them to "use a condom every time" they have sex, with sex defined as "vaginal and anal sexual intercourse [sic]."
These campaigns are accompanied by the mass distribution of condoms in the target community.
Yet, there's a growing body of evidence that condom campaigns don't work.
As of February 2004, there was great debate over the efficacy of these campaigns, both among men who have sex with men (MSM) and among heterosexuals, with many arguing that other forms of prevention, including delayed age of sexual onset ("abstinence"), partner reduction ("fidelity") and, among MSM, the avoidance of anal penetration, were more effective.
The Man2Man Alliance supports the latter position: we maintain that among MSM in Western countries, non-anal alternatives have never been sufficiently promoted, while twenty years of condom campaigns have resulted in the cementing of the identification of gay sex with anal promiscuity.
Condom campaigns, then, are a major component of the dominant culture of anal penetration and thus the oppression of men into Frot.
Plus they support the very behaviors -- anal penetration and promiscuity -- that spread HIV among MSM.
By contrast, the Man2Man Alliance supports Fidelity and Frot, not only because they are a more effective way of fighting AIDS, but because they are, for MSM, a superior way of life.
See also risk reduction and risk avoidance.
Colloquial synonym for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Colloquial term for Penis-fighting.
An outbreak of disease limited to one group in a population.
In the United States and many other Western countries, the HIV epidemic is by and large limited to men who have sex with men (MSM) and to intravenous users of drugs (IUD).
In Sub Saharan Africa, by contrast, HIV is found throughout a broad range of the population.
See also Generalized epidemic.
A culture (sometimes referred to as a "paradigm") is a set of norms which structure how group members perceive the world and how they behave.
A dominant culture or paradigm is pervasive and acts to exclude all other norms and competing worldviews.
A dominant culture or paradigm presents itself as the correct way of understanding the world, and its adherents work to censor and silence competing ideas, while actively supporting group norms.
Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Gay men today live under a dominant culture of anal penetration.
That culture is defined by three behaviors:
1. Anal penetration.
Anal penetration is regarded as the necessary and culminating act of any sexual encounter and the highest sexual expression of love, lust, and intimacy between men.
Men who do not participate in anal penetration are considered psychologically and sexually immature, and are otherwise belittled while their sexual choices are denigrated.
2. Promiscuity.
Promiscuity, called by its academic proponents "multipartnering" and/or "polypartnering," is also a core value of the culture.
Men are encouraged to be promiscuous, and to experiment with a broad range of sexual behaviors, such as oral-anal sex, which those outside the culture generally regard as dangerous and bizarre.
As with anal penetration, participation in promiscuity is viewed as a sign of mental health and as indicative of a positive self-image.
Consequently, many men measure their self-worth by the number and attractiveness of their sexual partners.
Men who aren't promiscuous are chided for missing out on life's principal pleasure, while those who don't participate in sexual experimentation are viewed as timid and their sexual tastes characterized as "vanilla."
3. Effeminacy.
While on the surface the culture would appear to be at best ambivalent about this behavior, in reality effeminacy is supported and rewarded.
That's because the prevailing ideology within the culture views all human beings as being intergendered, and encourages men to "get in touch with their feminine side."
Masculinity is suspect, and homosexual men who are masculine in traditional ways are regarded as "uptight," controlled, and rigid.
Thus the dominant ideology encourages men to be penetrated anally as part of the process of shedding their masculinity. Effeminacy then is both a consequence and a cause of anal penetration, a relationship made explicit by such terms as "pussy boy," "bottom bitch," and "asscunt," while the culture of promiscuity links with the culture of effeminacy in terms such as "slut," "whore," and "pig."
Outside of anally receptive sex, the ultimate expression of effeminacy in the subculture is "drag," which has high status. Men who won't participate in drag or in effeminizing language such as the use of the words "she," "her," "miss," and "bitch" to refer to other gay men are labeled "drag-phobic" and, of course, masculinist.
These three components -- anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy -- make up the dominant culture of anal sex, and are what give mainstream gay male culture its distinctive and distinctively maladaptive and dysphoric quality.
Whereas for most of the world sex is genital, masculinity is valued, and fidelity is honored, among gay men sex is anal, promiscuity is prized and heavily defended, and effeminacy considered amusing and desirable.
It's not possible to change the culture without changing all three elements, and that's why The Man2Man Alliance attacks and works to debunk all three.
At present the dominant culture of anal penetration maintains these behaviors through peer pressure and coercion, but most particularly through the production and widespread dissemination of cultural messages all saying or implying the same thing:
The only way to change that culture is to produce and disseminate a different set of messages, which debunk anal and destroy its mystique while popularizing Fidelity and Frot, choices which are hot, healthy, and masculine.
The Man2Man Alliance then works to destroy the dominant culture of anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy; and replace it with a Masculine culture of Fidelity and Frot.
Dominant Culture of Anal Sex ©
See Dominant Culture of Anal Penetration ©
Short for Dominance / Submission, Dom/Sub is the primary way gay men who are part of the dominant culture of anal penetration conceptualize their sexuality and their relationships, and is a direct consequence of the central place of anal penetration in the culture.
Just as anal penetration, in its insertive aspect, appears to mimic penile-vaginal sex, so does Dom/Sub appear to mimic the masculine and feminine roles of heterosexuality.
Thus synonyms for Dom/Sub include top/bottom, butch/femme, butch/bitch, master/slave, and daddy/boy, and most men self-define as either a top or bottom, though some say they are "versatile" -- able and willing to play either role.
The degree to which the Dom/Sub roles permeate gay male culture can not be overstated. The most common question at a gay male social gathering is "Are you a top or a bottom?" And two men in a relationship will routinely be asked "Who's the top and who's the bottom?"
Men who are part of analist culture have difficulty understanding that there are no tops or bottoms in the practice of Frot, and have trouble conceptualizing a relationship built on Frot, since there's no clear division of roles.
The idea that two men can be equal and equally masculine in a relationship is, for men whose norms are those of analist culture, genuinely perplexing.
See also effeminacy.
One of the three principal components of the dominant culture of anal penetration among gay men, effeminacy manifests as a constellation of behaviors and attitudes, including passivity and timidity, and a combination of spoken and body language which parodies stereotypically feminine behavior in a highly dysphoric, unpleasant, and maladaptive way.
Effeminacy is supported by a gender feminist ideology which considers gay men "intergendered" and which is deeply distrustful of masculinity.
Within that ideology, masculinity -- seen as aggressive, violent, and oppressive of women and others -- is viewed as the root of all evil, and any movement of men away from masculinity is deemed beneficial.
Thus the dominant ideology encourages men to be penetrated anally as part of the process of shedding their masculinity. Effeminacy then is both a consequence and a cause of anal penetration, a relationship made explicit by such terms as "pussy boy," "bottom bitch," and "asscunt," while the culture of promiscuity links with the culture of effeminacy in terms such as "slut," "whore," and "pig."
Outside of anally receptive sex, the ultimate expression of effeminacy in the subculture is "drag," which has high status. Men who won't participate in drag or in effeminizing language such as the use of the words "she," "her," "miss," and "bitch" to refer to other gay men are labeled "drag phobic" and, of course, masculinist.
Effeminacy should not be confused with femininity, nor with such traditional feminine attributes as nurturance or conciliation.
Effeminate gay men are not nurturing, nor is their behavior conciliatory.
It's self-hating, and, in its parodic treatment of women, extremely misogynist.
Nor is there any reason to believe that effeminacy is ever an expression of an individual's core personality.
Rather, effeminate behavior among gay men is a cultural overlay -- that is, the imposition upon the individual of a set of cultural expectations to which he thinks he must conform, which in this case, is the cultural expectation that men who have sex with men are in some way women.
They are not.
Men who have sex with men are men.
See also intergendered and masculinity.
An obsessive sexual interest in a non-genital body part, such as the foot, or in a non-human substance, such as latex.
Periodically, analists claim that Frot is a fetish.
It's not.
Frot, like penile-vaginal intercourse, is genital-genital sex.
Only if one is willing to assert that the way human beings are conceived is a fetish, can one also assert that Frot is a fetish.
Anal penetration, on the other hand, fulfills the definition of a fetish.
"Men into anal" display an obsessive interest in not one but two non-genital body parts: the anus and the rectum.
No matter how you cut it, that's a fetish, and an odd one, for it defines two of the body's organs of fecal excretion as the ultimate objects of sexual desire.
So: putting your penis in a hole full of fecal material is a fetish.
Treating your anus like a vagina is a fetish.
Engaging in penile-penile sex -- Frot -- is not.
In male-male relationships, the exclusive sexual and emotional love of one man for another.
As such, Fidelity expresses an essentially spiritual bond, as suggested by these phrases from warrior cultures:
The Bible, King James Version
The Celtic Tain, tr by Thomas Grinsella
Plato, Phaedrus
Plutarch, Life of Pelopidas
Fidelity is intrinsic to the Alliance ideal of Heroic Homosex within a Warrior Ethos:
"With Total Fidelity" means just that:
For men who are bisexual, the Alliance supports "gender monogamy": one lover/spouse/partner of each gender only.
The Alliance does not support promiscuity or group sex in any form.
Readers can visit our adult Fidelity Alliance and Phallic Fidelity pages to learn more about this new ethos among Men who Love Men.
In addition, readers may wish to visit our adult Heroes domain, in which we discuss The Warrior Bond among the Greeks, and look at other peoples such as the Celts who celebrated an openly erotic and heroic warrior bond.
And they can also read our Man2Man Alliance policy paper Why Be Faithful for a complete discussion of the risks of promiscuity and the benefits of Fidelity.
Finally, those unfamiliar with the Alliance are encouraged to read Fidelity and Frot: An Introduction to Frot and The Man2Man Alliance for a fuller exposition of our views.
See also Frot, Heroic Homosex, Phallic Fidelity, Warrior Ethos, and Heroic Love.
An extreme form of anal penetration in which a fist is inserted as deeply as possible into the anus and rectum.
Like the insertion of objects such as dildos and glass bottles into the anus and rectum, fisting is a completely non-genital activity which nevertheless is considered sexual and part of a pansexualist and sexually experimentive ethic within the dominant culture of anal sex.
See also kink.
Colloquial synonym for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Ersatz French word (derived from the verb frotter, to rub) used by many sexologists to refer to any sort of sexual or erotic rubbing.
Among gay men, however, "frottage" most often refers to penile-penile sex.
Because of the ambiguity in the way the word "frottage" is defined and used by different groups, and for other reasons discussed below, in the year 2000 Frot activist Bill Weintraub coined the term Frot to refer specifically to phallus-on-phallus sex.
Since then, the word "Frot" has become widely used among men who have sex with men to refer to what is colloquially known as cocktocock, dick2dick, cockrub, frontism, and bone on bone.
Please see entry for Frot.
Frot ©
The male-male erotic practice of aligning the erect penis of each partner so that the undersides of the penises are touching, and rubbing them together until orgasm.
Frot is the only m2m erotic practice which, like penile-vaginal sex, involves direct, mutual, and continuous genital-genital contact.
COLLOQUIAL SYNONYMS FOR FROT
Because European-Americans and African-Americans sometimes use different slang terms for the penis, Frot is known colloquially under a variety of names, including Cock To Cock, Dick2Dick, Bone on Bone, and Cockrub.
It's also sometimes referred to as "Front" and "Frontalism."
The term "Frot" itself was coined by Frot activist Bill Weintraub in October of 2000 in order to provide men with a race-neutral term for the activity, and to provide a substitute for the word "frottage," an ersatz French word which most sexologists use to refer to any sort of sexual body rubbing.
Frot, by contrast, like the slang terms cock2cock and dick2dick, refers specifically to the rubbing of erect penis on erect penis.
BENEFITS OF FROT
Readers who are over 18 and who wish to see a colloquial and adult explanation of Frot, intended for a mature audience, which includes graphic depictions of men having phallus on/against phallus sex, may click here. Please do not do so, however, if graphic depictions of sex will offend or upset you.
Frot bro ©, Frot bros ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot brothas, Frot brothers, Frot guys, Frot dudes, Frot hermanos, Frot mates, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot brotha ©, Frot brothas ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot brothers, Frot guys, Frot dudes, Frot hermanos, Frot mates, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot brothers ©
Two bonded men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Singular: Frot brother ©
See also Frot men
Frot Club ©
Frot Club is a cyber-dating message board maintained by the Man2Man Alliance to help Frot men who are looking for a Frot buddy or lover.
Frot Club does not support promiscuity or group sex.
Frot dude ©, Frot dudes ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot brothas, Frot hermanos, Frot guys, Frot mates, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot hermano ©, Frot hermanos ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Also expressed in the singular as Frot hermano.
Synonyms: Frot brothas, Frot dudes, Frot guys, Frot mates, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot guy ©, Frot guys ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot brothas, Frot dudes, Frot hermanos, Frot mates, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot mate ©, Frot mates ©
Colloquial designation for men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot brothas, Frot dudes, Frot hermanos, Frot men
See also Frot men
Frot man ©
A man with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who does not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot guy, Frot dude, Frot brotha, Frot hermano, Frot mate
Frot men ©
Men with a strong masculine identification whose primary m2m erotic practice is Frot and who do not participate in anal penetration
Synonyms: Frot guys, Frot dudes, Frot brothas, Frot hermanos, Frot mates
An outbreak of disease which spreads throughout the general population.
Whereas in the United States and many other Western countries, the HIV epidemic is by and large limited to men who have sex with men (MSM) and to intravenous users of drugs (IUD), in Sub Saharan Africa, HIV is found throughout a broad range of the population.
See also Discrete epidemic.
The way most of the world's people experience sex: through the contact of genital tissue with genital tissue.
For heterosexuals, genital-genital sex is penile-vaginal sex.
For men who have sex with men (MSM), genital-genital sex is penile-penile sex: Frot.
There are no other sex acts available to MSM which consist of direct genital on genital contact, and which provide the instantaneous and intense mutually phallic feedback of Frot.
Which is why no other m2m sex act is as powerful.
As Warrior Don F says,
Just being anti-anal is not enough----we need to emphasize the sensory feedback loop achieved through anatomical coupling, stimulating each other's genitals naturally so both buddies feel the same sensations at the same time. THAT is sexual intimacy.
And, it's an intimacy that leads guys to full and complete UNION, without BARRIERS between them so the natural male flow from their bodies is free and openly shared, unabridged by rubbers or any artificial containment.
It is a confirmation of masculinity.
In the Alliance we celebrate male sexuality as a pure, honest and instinctive expression between buds who can be GUYS together.
So:
For a man and a woman, genital-genital sex is penile-vaginal intercourse.
For a man and a man, genital-genital sex is Frot.
Readers interested in a fuller exposition may read our very popular and adult article What Sex Is.
Heroes
Heroes is a section found on all our Man2Man Alliance sites which elucidates the historical and cross-cultural truth about Men who Love Men.
A common and endlessly repeated analist misconception is that anal penetration, effeminacy, and promiscuity have always characterized "men who have sex with men."
Yet an examination of the cross-cultural, historical, and mythic record reveals that traditionally, the love of man for man has focused on phallus, fidelity, and masculinity, and that such love, passionate and exclusive, has for millenia been recognized as one of the highest expressions of the human spirit.
Most people benefit from role models, and that's true of men who have sex with men.
For that reason, Heroes explores the warrior ethos and illuminates the central tenets of Heroic Homosex:
Warrior Homosex is Heroic Homosex
Martial Masculine Monogamous
Phallic Masculine Heroic A guide to the articles in Heroes can be found at the following links:
Please note that the Heroes Site Guide and many of the articles contain adult material, and we ask that you not visit Heroes if graphic depictions of men having phallus-on-phallus sex will upset or offend you.
See also Warrior altruism, Warrior Ethos, Fidelity, Heroic Homosex, and Heroic Love
Heroic Homosex ©
The Man2ManAlliance designation for those cultural elements which will succeed the dominant culture of anal penetration.
Rather than a sexual subculture built around anal penetration, effeminacy, and promiscuity, Heroic Homosex offers a world of strong and caring men who practice phallus on phallus sex, who value masculinity, and who honor fidelity.
Why "Heroic" Homosex?
For two reasons:
The first is a call to a higher standard.
Present-day gay male culture is based on promiscuity, effeminacy, and kink.
Heroic Homosex calls upon men who have sex with men to act heroically:
"As an equal" means face to face, heart to heart, and cock to cock, not in an inherently unequal act of anal penetration;
"As a man" means without being effeminized and degraded by a false division into tops and bottoms; nor being fooled by false and meaningless gay-bi-str8 labels; and
"With total fidelity" means just that: love one man, have no other.
The second is an acknowledgment of our heroic past.
A common and endlessly repeated analist misconception is that anal penetration, effeminacy, and promiscuity have always characterized "men who have sex with men."
Yet an examination of the cross-cultural, historical, and mythic record reveals that traditionally, the love of man for man has focused on phallus, fidelity, and masculinity, and that such love, passionate and exclusive, has for millenia been seen as one of the highest expressions of the human spirit.
Most people benefit from role models, and that's true of men who have sex with men.
Thus the adult Heroes section of our Man2Man Alliance site, which explores the warrior ethos and manifests a central tenet of Heroic Homosex:
Warrior Homosex is Heroic Homosex See also Warrior Ethos, Masculinity, and Heroic Love, and Fidelity
Heroic Love ©
Sexually and emotionally exclusive dyadic warrior bond which is stand-by-your-man, til death-us-do-part faithful.
Why Heroic?
Because it's how Heroes behave in warrior epics from Gilgamesh to the Iliad to David and Jonathan to the Celtic Tain.
Regarding copyrights and intellectual property
All material on this site, including written material, original art, and logos, is protected by copyright.
It may not be reproduced without written permission from Bill Weintraub.
Abstinence
Anal penetration
Asscunt
Bone on bone
Bottom
Bottom bitch
Cockfighting
CockToCock
Cockrub
Combat sports
Condom campaigns
Dick2Dick
Dickfites
Discrete epidemic
Dominant Culture
Dominant Culture of Anal sex ©
Analism ©
Analist Culture ©
Dom/Sub
Effeminacy
Fetish
Fidelity
was knit with
the soul of David
They made one bed
And slept one sleep
Have No OtherFisting
Front, frontism
Frottage
Generalized epidemic
Genital-Genital sex
I want to have sex with a buddy's MALE anatomy mated to mine.
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Stele of Greek Warrior / Lovers Who Died in Battle and Were Buried Together |
And because it celebrates masculine men who unite through the act of phallic sex.
Thus, one of our Alliance by-words: phallus, fidelity, masculinity.
For an examination of the cross-cultural, historical, and mythic record reveals that traditionally, the love of man for man has focused on phallus, fidelity, and masculinity, and that such love, passionate and exclusive, has for millenia been recognized as one of the highest expressions of the human spirit.
Of course, then, Heroic Love is neither sodomite nor promiscuous.
The Greek warrior class specifically condemned anal sex, and in no warrior culture is anal penetration supported; while the exclusive love of one man for another is celebrated by all.
(Interested readers can find more information about warrior cultures in the adult Heroes section of our site.)
Can those ideals, of phallus, fidelity, and masculinity, be brought back to life today?
Of course.
Because first of all many Men who Love Men have never abandoned them.
There are thousands of MLM living monogamous, committed, Frot relationships today.
By joining with them and reaching out to and recruiting men from among the tens of thousands of gay and bi men disaffected with the current promiscuous and analist regime, we can begin working together.
Working to build a new culture among Men who Love Men in which masculinity is valued, fidelity is prized, and phallic bonding is honored.
See also Warrior Altruism, Warrior Ethos, Heroic Homosex, Phallic Bonding, and Fidelity
The process by which a false masculinity is imposed upon masculine-identified men, a pseudo-masculinity which forces them into the denial of their same-sex feelings and an exclusively "heterosexual" expression of sexuality.
Heterosexualization is most widespread in the industrialized and post-industrialized West -- the US, UK, EU, Canada and Australia;
and is accomplished through the destruction of all-male spaces; the forced mixing of the sexes, particularly in adolescence; and the identifying of masculinity with exclusive "heterosexuality."
In reality, it is both normal and natural for masculine-identified men to have sex with other masculine-identified men.
Under heterosexualization, however, masculine men who acknowledge their same-sex feelings and desires are shunted off into a ghettoized "gay" space which is dominated by effeminized males.
In such a space, masculine-identified men are often accused of being "straight-acting"; and come under immense pressure to assume more effeminate behaviors, including anal penetration and promiscuity.
We should be clear that absent heterosexualization, there would be no homosexuals.
Nor would there be heteroseuxals.
As one of our Warriors has said,
Male-male sex is isolated only because in the West, its spaces and its customs are completely heterosexualised (i.e. made mixed gender with pressures to be heterosexual). But heterosexual spaces are themselves unnatural --- and it was only through financial and technological power brought by industrialisation that the western society could create such an artificial unnatural heterosexual environment.
In sum:
Heterosexualization is an historical process which
Crucial to this process is the denigration, curtailment, and dismissal both of the male's natural male aggression; and of his natural male attraction.
Under heterosexualization, the male is steadily divorced from contact with other males, and forced into constant contact with females; while the two key attributes of Natural Masculinity, male aggression and male attraction, are forbidden him.
See also Natural masculinity, Sexual dimorphism, Analism, Sexual orientation, Labels, Frot;
And our Man2Man Alliance policy paper Sex Between Men: An Activity, Not A Condition.
Abbreviation for Human Immunodeficiency Virus, the pathogen which causes AIDS.
Among men who have sex with men, HIV is almost always transmitted through anal penetration.
Abbreviation for Human Papilloma Virus, a common sexually-transmitted pathogen.
HPV is believed to cause cervical cancer and anal cancer, and has been implicated in some types of oral cancer.
The prevalence of HPV among men who are anally receptive is 30 times greater than that of the general population.
For further discussion, please see HIV, HPV, anal cancer, and HAART.
Term used by Alliance writer Mart Finn to refer to
One of the essences of the shared experience between men is the level of synchronicity produced during the interaction. Male sexual partners 'do things to each other' ... each having an enormous sense of empathy with his lover ... this psychological interaction is fertilised and amplified by the physical sensations being enjoyed by both men. This level of empathy and synchronicity produces a unique existential state of being. A man is as himself in the sexual interaction and at the same time is as his lover; body, mind and in the moment. They interact to produce and celebrate the uniqueness of male-to-male erotic pleasure.
Sexual 'interaction between males' in the sense that sex is an ensemble activity rather than a duet of competing desires and needs. Interaction is the excitement of what will happen, what significant sexual experience will develop when two men share erotic pleasure together. Not an anticipation of what pleasures one gets back from giving some out, Quid pro quo.
We all know the excitement of an ardent lover ... the sensuous spark of an aroused male. We desire intimate, erotic sexual contact with him. Coming to him as a man ... bringing the same masculine spark ... to make a fire. A presumption in one partner or the other that their mate will bring anything to the interaction other than that which they themselves bring, a shade of a shade, is an expectation of a behavioural role which is outside of themselves. Inverted cause and effect. Transactional is where if the effect is not what was expected ... then the paradigm is broken. Interactional sex is where the partners are engaged with the psycho - physio - chemical reaction, which explodes from the mixing of equal masculine desires. Cause and effect. They are enjoying and sharing at a high level of consciousness. This too can be ardent and strong, dynamic and forceful. Men behaving as men. Having intimate, erotic sex with men.
See Mart's essay, CockToCock, for more about the difference between interactional and transactional sex.
See also Transactional sex.
The alleged state of being constitutionally neither male nor female.
It is commonly supposed in analist culture that gay men are "intergendered" and constitute a third sex somewhere between men and women.
Thus being intergendered is used to explain and justify effeminacy and of course being anally-receptive during anal penetration.
In reality there's no evidence that gay or any other men who have sex with men are "intergendered."
Biologically -- that is, genetically -- there are two sexes, not three or five or ten.
Effeminacy, anal receptivity, and promiscuity can all be explained as behavioral responses to the widespread cultural belief that men who have sex with men are in some way women.
And indeed when men "come out" into gay life, they go through a process of acculturation in which they are taught to be anally receptive and to behave effeminately.
Were these men biologically or constitutionally "intergendered," they would not need to be acculturated.
Nor would they be capable of "passing" -- that is pretending to be nongay -- when the situation demanded such.
Men who have sex with men are not, then, "intergendered."
They're simply men who have sex with men.
For a further discussion of the intergendered myth, see Are Men Who Have Sex with Men Intergendered?
See also Labels.
Bizarre forms of behavior which are said to carry a sexual thrill for their participants.
Though the definition of kink is subjective, activities generally considered kinky among gay men include various forms of sado-masochism, fisting, and acts involving urine and feces.
The labels "gay," "bi," and "straight" are the colloquial names for the three "categories" of sexual orientation;
a social classification devised by the forces of heterosexualization to medicalize and isolate normal and natural same-sex needs, desires, and acts.
Since the concept of sexual orientation is false, the labels "gay," "bi," and "straight" are meaningless.
To understand more about heterosexualization and sexual orientation, please see our Man2Man Alliance policy paper Sex Between Men: An Activity, Not A Condition.
A complex of behaviors which are characteristic of and natural to a man, and the direct result of male biology.
Men are by nature active and aggressive, and a man naturally expresses his sexuality through the thrusting of his erect penis -- his phallus.
Male sexuality then is expressed phallically.
Not anally.
Being penetrated anally has never been natural or appropriate to a man and never will be.
Again: Masculinity is that which is natural to a man.
Male sexuality is expressed phallically, in the way which is natural to a man.
Thus our Man2Man Alliance formulation:
Manhood is Man See also Frot, Natural male sex aggression, Sexual dimorphism.
The Man2Man Alliance ©
The Man2Man Alliance is a coalition of gay, bi, and straight-identified men who practice who reject anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy;
and who put forth the truth that one man can love another without any surrender of either's masculinity.
Those unfamiliar with the Alliance are encouraged to read Fidelity and Frot: An Introduction to Frot and The Man2Man Alliance for a fuller exposition of our views.
Cockrub Warriors, Heroic Homosex, and Frot Club are all part of The Man2Man Alliance.
See also Heroic Homosex, Fidelity, and Frot.
Readers who do not understand what FROT is can click here for a G-rated explanation of the practice.
See MLM below.
MLM ©
Abbreviation used by the Man2Man Alliance for "Men who Love Men."
While it's accurate for social scientists and others to refer to "Men who have Sex with Men" (MSM) in describing sexual behavior, the goal of the Alliance is to construct a new m2m culture in which men think of each other not as disposable toys, but as human beings whom they love.
Thus we contrast MSM with MLM -- because there's a difference between love and lust.
Abbreviation used by epidemiologists and others to designate "Men who have Sex with Men."
Epidemiologists, anthropologists, and other social scientists have long understood, as does the Man2Man Alliance, that the labels "gay," "bi," and "straight," are effectively meaningless, and that what matters in the real world is behavior.
Because all sorts of men have sex with men, not just men who self-identify as "gay" or "bi."
See also MLM for Men who Love Men.
Having more than one sexual partner either concurrently or serially.
While this term is used by social scientists, epidemiologists, and others who seek to rationalize human behavior, it's also employed by apologists for the "sexual revolution," who object to the term sexual promiscuity because they believe it implies a negative, usually faith-based, moral judgement of sexual behavior.
(See, for example, Douglas Feldman's defense of "polypartnering" in the Alliance policy paper "Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love.")
Multipartnering, or promiscuity, is what creates epidemics of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and the two groups in Western societies who have the highest rates of multipartnering also have the highest prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases: prostitutes, referred to by social scientists as "female sex workers," or FSWs; and gay / bisexual men, referred to by social scientists as MSM -- men who have sex with men.
James Chin, clinical professor of epidemiology at the School of Public Health, University of California, Berkeley, describes the likelihood of transmission of HIV among mulitpartnered or promiscuous MSM as follows:
Highest: "Bathhouse" type setting where large numbers of MSM have up to 10-20 sex contacts in a single day or night
Moderate: Sex with multiple partners on a concurrent basis
Low: Sex with multiple partners on a serial basis
Unlike most other sexually-transmitted pathogens, HIV is relatively difficult to acquire, and as Professor Chin says, "In the absence of facilitating factors, the risk of HIV transmission via sexual intercourse can be several hundred times lower than for many other sexually-transmitted-infections (STI)."
"However, epidemic HIV transmission can occur in large sex networks where there is a pattern of multiple and concurrent sex partners because such large networks usually result in a high prevalence of factors that can greatly facilitate sexual HIV transmission."
The factors to which Professor Chin refers are most often outbreaks of other STDs, such as herpes and syphillis, which HIV make transmission more likely.
And of course anal penetration.
It's the combination of the ubiquity of anal penetration and the very high rates of multipartnering among gay men which led to and sustains the MSM AIDS epidemic.
Among gay men in particular, there are several well-established forms of multipartnering, including group sex, open relationships (in which couples say they're "committed, but play" either together or separately), and "friends with benefits," men with whom men get together regularly for casual sex without an emotional committment.
And these forms of multipartnering can occur simultaneously.
A man who's in an open relationship may go to a sex club where he has group sex -- including possibly being penetrated anally by as many as twenty men; then, on that same evening, meet a "friend with benefits," with whom he has sex privately; and then return home to his partner, with whom he also has sex.
This scenario is not far-fetched (see, for example, the discussion of barebacking in Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love), and is what is responsible for the very high prevalence of HIV and other anally-vectored diseases among gay men.
The ideology of multipartnering is deeply entrenched in mainstream gay male culture.
Here, for example, is a profile, found on a popular on-line gay male dating site, of a man who says he's a 43-year-old psychotherapist in a long-term, "open relationship" in a large southern city:
Screen name: "obscenewish"
Self-description: "Just an average, down-to-earth, normal guy in pursuit of your rectum."
Sexual interests: "One-on-One, Three-Way, Groups/Parties/Orgies, Leather/Fetish scenes, Friends with benefits, Couple seeking sexual partners"
Sexual Fetishes: "BDSM [bondage, discipline, sado-masochism], Leather"
In his online diary, he denigrates frottage and indeed any sex which does not culminate in his penetrating another man, and adds,
"I think something is sacrificed - romantic idealism, perhaps - when you open your relationship to outside sexual play but eventually sex becomes the last reason most people stay in a relationship more than five years or so."
See also Polypartnering and Promiscuity.
For more online profiles of sexually promiscuous gay men, see Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love.
For a discussion of the entrenched nature of promiscuity among gay men, see Do Gay Men Have to be Promiscuous?
Natural male sex aggression ©
Man2Man Alliance phrase for the hormonally-mediated tendency of males to
In the male, both sex and aggression are mediated by testosterone, and the two frequently feed upon each other.
For example, it's been demonstrated that winning a fight raises the victor's sperm count.
And that successful completion of a military exercise raises testosterone levels in all
soldiers in the winning squad.
So fighting both requires and often raises testosterone, and higher levels of testosterone increase sex drive.
Many other typically male activities, such as rough-housing and "horsing around," raise testosterone levels as well, and it can be argued that much stereotypically male activity, particularly in groups, has the function of raising testosterone.
Thus men are frequently involved in activities, including various forms of fighting, which increase testosterone levels, and it's not surprising that men frequently associate, in varying
degree, fighting and sex.
Among Frot men, that association commonly manifests as an abiding interest in myth and superheroes; fantasies about combining fighting and Frot; and various practices which do just that.
A common "Fighting and Frot" fantasy imagines two warriors, two mythic figures, or two comic book superheroes, meeting in battle, wrestling or otherwise fighting in a way which progresses to cock combat, and finally, at the moment when, as Mart Finn has said, "fighting cocks become mating cocks," bonding sexually, emotionally, and spiritually through Frot.
Thus Frot men frequently combine a combat scenario with an extreme male-bonding scenario, in which fighting leads to passionate love-making and, ideally, a life-long union of warrior brothers and heroic lovers.
For more about natural male sex aggression and the role of myth, see our very popular adult article Superheroes, Myths, and Wrestling Buddies in our collection of autobiographical statements, Warriors Speak.
The masculinity which develops naturally through the interaction of young males as they grow and mature in all-male spaces; and of which same-sex needs and desires are an integral and honored part.
The behaviors which characterize natural masculinity are the direct result of male biology.
And of a male biology which has developed naturally, free of the false social pressures and cultural expectations imposed by heterosexualization.
Sexuality
Sexually, men are by nature and as a function of biology active and aggressive, and a man naturally expresses his sexuality through the thrusting of his erect penis -- his phallus.
Male sexuality then is expressed phallically.
Not anally.
Being penetrated anally has never been natural or appropriate to a man and never will be.
Again: Masculinity is that which is natural to a man.
Male sexuality is expressed phallically, in the way which is natural to a man.
Thus our Man2Man Alliance formulation:
Manhood is Man Aggression
Man are by nature aggressive, and it is that fighting spirit, expressed in aggression which is controlled and appropriate, which is the hallmark of natural masculinity.
It should be noted that "sexual orientation" is a false category invented by the forces of heterosexualization to destroy natural masculinity by ghettoizing men who express same-sex needs and desires.
In reality, the hallmark of masculinity is not sexual orientation, but aggression -- "fighting spirit."
Thus another of our Man2Man Alliance formulations:
That makes you a man It's your willingness to FIGHT. Finally, we should be clear that, as one of our Warriors has said, "same-sex needs are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity."
That does not mean that men who are naturally masculine do not have a sexual interest in women.
But the expression of same-sex needs is critical to the development of natural masculinity.
When, as happens under heterosexualization, those same-sex needs are suppressed and / or shunted off into an effeminized analist ghetto, immense damage is done to the man's natural masculinity.
See also Natural male sex aggression, Sexual dimorphism, Heterosexualization, Sexual orientation, Heroes, Warrior ethos, Warrior altruism, Heroic love, Frot.
Part of the dominant cuture of anal penetration, panexualism is an ideology which endorses all forms of consensual, adult, "erotic" expression, without making moral judgements as to the validity or value of any given "sex" act.
Thus the pansexualist phrases, "honor diversity," "all sex is good," and "it's all good."
According to pansexualism, almost anything which someone chooses to define as sex is good, and cannot be subject to moral or value judgements, including acts like oral-anal sex, fisting, and of course anal penetration.
Nor should society seek to deter people from being involved in any sex act, even if there's a high risk of disease.
Rather, in the pansexualist view, it's the responsibility of society to provide both education and the means which will enable individuals to do almost anything they please sexually with reduced risk of disease transmission.
Which is the reason that condom campaigns are such a prominent feature of pansexualist public policy.
Rather than suggest to those involved that anal penetration is dangerous, and that other activities might be more pleasurable, truly sexual, and of far lower risk, pansexualists argue that they cannot make such judgements, and may only recommend condoms.
The Man2Man Alliance disagrees with pansexualism in every particular.
First of all, there's no reason to believe that making accurate assessments of pleasure and risk, or that making moral judgements, runs counter to human interests.
Human beings make such assessments and judgements daily in all areas of their lives.
For example, they choose which foods to eat based on their nutritive value, taste, and also the probability that such food will not poison them or otherwise make them ill.
And they may also choose food on the basis of how it was grown -- for example, organically or with chemicals -- or how, if it's animal, it was raised, captured, and / or slaughtered.
Similarly, human beings choose not to kill or steal, not only because of fear of the legal consequences, but because they understand those acts are immoral.
Further, such statements as "all sex is good" are demonstrably false, and in some instances pansexualists have only been able to maintain their beliefs by changing the definition of sex.
For example, most criminologists know that rape is sex -- that is, that most rapists, when asked, say they rape to obtain sex with attractive young women who would not otherwise be available to them.
For most rapists, the violence they use to obtain sex is a means to an end, not the end itself.
However, in the 1970s pansexualists and their feminist allies changed the definition of rape from an act of sex to one of power and control.
In reality, while both elements are present, rape remains a sexual act.
Similarly, from our everyday experience of sex, we know that some sex is great, some good, and some awful.
For example, I had a friend who had one nipple partially bitten off during consensual "rough sex."
My friend, who was a devoted pansexualist and very upset, said of his partner, "He didn't respect my limits."
Clearly, however, although this was by definition of the participants "sex," it wasn't "good."
It was painful and left one participant scarred for life.
The same we argue can be said of anal penetration, which in our view is not sex, and which moreover is painful and can lead to a number of diseases, some of them fatal.
For further discussion of the dominant culture of anal penetration and the Alliance's alternative, see our policy paper Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love?
Penis-fighting
The male-male erotic practice of staging mock battles or competitions using the erect penis of each partner as "weapons."
Styles and rules vary:
Partners may stand with hands on hips, or grasping the penis at the base of the shaft; penises may be slapped together, rubbed together, or "rammed" vigorously; the testicles may or may not be legitimate targets.
The goal of the competition may be to force the other man to ejaculate; or to cause him to lose his erection; or, more frequently, simply to have fun and to finish with mutual ejaculations.
Though normally an affiliative and friendly, frankly erotic activity, penis-fighting between straight-identified males who are enemies can be, though still erotic, both painful and brutal.
Interested readers can click here for an adult and very graphic first-person account of the latter sort of penis-fight.
Colloquial synonyms include cock battle, cock combat, cockfighting, dickfites, and swordfights.
Please note: not all Frot men are into cock combat. Most are not.
But there is often, though not always, a playfully combative aspect to Frot.
See also Combat sports, natural male sex aggression.
Phallic bonding ©
Powerful physical cum mystical sensation experienced during Frot of two cocks becoming one, resulting in an intense male-male bond. "Phallic bonding" expresses both the power of pure masculine genital union and the intensely spiritual nature of Frot at the moment when, as Mart Finn has said, "fighting cocks become mating cocks."
See also Phallic mating.
Phallic Fidelity ©
The sexually and emotionally exclusive union of two men for life, expressed physically through phallus-on-phallus sex, phallic bonding.
As such, the opposite of anal promiscuity.
For a fuller exposition with some adult content, visit our Phallic Fidelity page.
See also Heroic Homosex, Warrior ethos, Fidelity.
Phallic mating ©
Union of two men experienced through the mating or marriage of their phalluses during the most powerful male-male sex act: Frot.
"Phallic mating" expresses both the power of direct male genital coupling and the intensely spiritual nature of Frot at the moment when, as Mart Finn has said, "fighting cocks become mating cocks."
See also Phallic bonding.
Synonym for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Descriptive of Frot: male-male genital-genital sex.
Synonym for Frot: phallus on phallus sex.
Synonym for Multipartnering.
See Multipartnering.
Slang for the receptive partner in anal penetration.
See also bottom; effeminacy.
In public health policy, behavior that virtually eliminates risk of disease or infection.
With lung cancer, for example, the way to avoid risk of developing the disease is to stop smoking -- or, preferably, never start.
With HIV, the way to avoid infection is to abstain from sex, be faithful to a single uninfected partner, or, if you're a man who has sex with men, avoid anal sex.
See also risk reduction.
In public health policy, behavior that reduces risk of disease or infection.
With lung cancer, for example, one method, though not effective, of risk reduction is to smoke filtered cigarettes.
With HIV, the commonest risk reduction strategy is to use a condom every time one has vaginal sex or participates in an act of anal penetration.
Condoms reduce risk but do not eliminate it, since, even with a condom, anal penetration is the single riskiest sex act two men -- or a man and a woman -- can perform.
See also risk avoidance.
Colloquial term for oral-anal "sex," in which one or both partners lick and kiss the exterior of the anus, and penetrate the anal sphincter with the tongue.
According to Dr. Jeffrey Klausner, director of STD Prevention and Control Services at the San Francisco Department of Public Health, oral-anal sex, while safe for HIV, can transmit shigella, amoeba, giardia, hepatitis A and perhaps syphilis and gonorrhea.
See also STDs.
In the common usage of HIV-affected communities, the terms "safe," "safe sex," and "safer sex" refer to sexual activity in which the risk of acquiring HIV, the pathogen which causes AIDS, is inherently low, or is made lower by the use of some intervention, most commonly a condom.
Over time, however, popular journalism's use of these terms has tended to blur the distinction between HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.
For example, in this "Question and Answer" which appears on gay.com, Dr. Jeffrey Klausner, director of STD Prevention and Control Services at the San Francisco Department of Public Health, describes "mutual masturbation" as "safer sex":
Kissing and mutual masturbation
by Dr. Jeffrey Klausner
Q I had a sexual encounter with a guy. We kissed and engaged in mutual masturbation -- we held each other's cocks, we rubbed our cocks together and even had cum on our hands. Am I at risk of getting HIV or any other disease?
A It is very rare that STDs like herpes or genital warts are transmitted via mutual masturbation. What you describe is generally considered to be safer sex and carries a very, very low risk for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia or syphilis.
Because the question is framed in terms of "HIV or any other disease," Dr. Klausner somewhat arbitrarily includes five other sexually transmitted infections -- herpes, genital warts or HPV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis -- in his answer; but notice that he brackets "safer sex" with "a very, very low risk for HIV."
Because, strictly speaking, that's what's at issue when the question of "safe" or "safer sex" is raised: HIV.
So, when we say in the Alliance that Frot is "safe," we do not mean that it's impossible to acquire a sexually transmitted disease through Frot -- even though one's chances of doing so are extremely low, as this STD risk chart, also prepared by Dr. Klausner for gay.com, makes clear.
By "safe," we are referring to the fact that there's never been a documented case of HIV transmission via Frot.
Occasionally, "gay health" websites and "safer-sex educators" will state that it's possible to acquire this or that STD via frottage.
Remember, however, that there's a big difference between "possible" and "likely."
For example, we know that the prevalence of human papilloma virus or HPV, which causes anal cancer, is 30 times greater among men who are anally-receptive than among the general population.
And that 57% of HIV-*negative* anally-receptive gay men carry HPV.
Clearly, anal penetration greatly facilitates the acquisition of HPV.
In general, there's universal agreement that anal penetration is the riskiest "sex" act two men can perform; and that frottage is lowest risk.
Readers who wish to better understand the role of anal penetration in the concurrent epidemics of sexually transmitted disease which afflict the gay male community may refer to our Man2Man Alliance policy paper, an anus is not a vagina, Part 1: The Biology of Anal Penetration.
Characteristic of species in which there are marked and obviously discernible physical and behavioral differences between the sexes.
For example, among lions, males have a distinctive mane and are physically larger than females.
Lions therefore are sexually dimorphic.
Similarly, in many bird species, the males have brightly-colored plumage and often other indicators, such as combs or unique feathering, while the females are relatively plain in appearance.
Among human beings, there are similarly readily-apparent differences.
Human males have broader shoulders and narrower hips than females; have a higher degree of muscularity and a lower degree of body fat; are, on average, taller and significantly stronger than females; have, again on average, coarser facial features and both facial and usually body hair as well; and of course do not have breasts, but do have external genitalia.
Human females, by contrast, have narrow shoulders and broad hips; a higher degree of body fat; are smaller and on the whole muscularly weaker than men; have finer facial features; are relatively free of facial and body hair; and have prominent breasts while lacking external genitalia.
This sexual dimorphism is so profound among human beings, that if we try, as a sort of thought experiment, to imagine men and women without these defining characteristics, we find that we cannot do it -- that our brains rebel at the notion of men and women who look exactly the same except for the presence or absence of external genitals.
In recent years, sociobiologists have made a persuasive case that human sexual bimorphism is not limited to appearance and reproductive apparatus, but extends to behavior as well.
We now know that cross-culturally, men are significantly more violent and aggressive than women; and also cross-culturally that men and women pursue different reproductive strategies, which account for many of the differences we see in male and female behavior.
For example, men universally judge the attractiveness of women based upon their youth and likelihood of bearing strong, healthy children; while women universally look for men who will be good providers for themselves and their children.
Among human beings then, as among many other species, sexual dimorphism isn't just physical, it's behavioral as well.
See also Masculinity, Natural male sex aggression.
A social classification devised by the forces of heterosexualization to medicalize and isolate normal and natural same-sex needs, desires, and acts.
As one of our Warriors has said,
This social mechanism acts to isolate male-male sexual behavior from heterosexual spaces and group it with the "third sex" under a combined 'homosexual / gay' label.
He goes on to say that the "gay space" or ghetto thus formed
represents the dust bin created by the heterosexualised society to contain the mutilated/ negativised remnants of male-male sex that survives after the intense oppression of them in the mainstream...
It's important to understand then that sexual activity between masculine men is normal and natural, and indeed is core to natural masculinity.
Under heterosexualization, however, such activity is severely denigrated and is forced into a space dominated by feminized males.
We call this space analism, and it's characterized in the heterosexualized, post-industrial West by anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy.
Forcing a masculine-identified male who is in touch with and acknowledges his same-sex desires into the gay space is extremely destructive.
Once again, our Warrior:
Just as association with masculine-identified males is essential for a masculine-identified male, and enhances his natural masculinity several times, association with feminized males can seriously deplete his natural masculinity, even pave the way for an unnatural development and effeminacy.
Thus when a masculine-identified young man associates himself with the gay group --- psychologically made to believe he is one of them --- he will find himself a misfit in the strongly effeminized gay culture. But since there is no other social space for him, he will force himself to relate with the gays.
The entire experience will subdue his natural masculinity and make him more effeminate.
What then do the terms "gay" and "straight" actually mean?
Our Warrior:
The fact of the matter is that 'straight' actually means 'masculine'. It is only that the West has for long propagated 'heterosexuality' as masculine, so that today it is seen as being synonymous with 'straight'.
Again, the real meaning of 'queer' is feminine, although it is used interchangeably for 'gay'.
You should also know that the word 'homosexual' and later 'gay' was originally used for feminized males who were believed to be feminine on account of their desire for men.
If there was no heterosexual society there would be no homosexuals. And no heterosexuals either. Male-male sex is isolated only because in the Western society, its spaces and its customs are completely heterosexualised (i.e. made mixed gender with pressures to be heterosexual). But heterosexual spaces are themselves unnatural --- and it was only through financial and technological power brought by industrialisation that the western society could create such an artificial unnatural heterosexual environment.
So: sexual orientation is a canard.
Masculine men have far more in common with each other than they do with feminized males.
As we say in the Alliance,
That makes you a man It's your willingness to FIGHT. See also: Natural masculinity, Heterosexualization, Analism, Sexual dimorphism, Natural male sex aggression, Heroes, Warrior ethos, Frot.
Sub Saharan Africa, site of the world's largest generalized HIV epidemic.
Abbreviation for "sexually transmitted infection."
Abbreviation for "sexually transmitted disease."
Term used by feminized males and others within analist culture to denigrate men who acknowledge their same-sex needs and desires and whose behavior is masculine.
In reality, those masculine men are not acting; they're simply being themselves.
The acting is coming from the feminized males, who play the roles sexually and otherwise of "top" and "bottom."
Related article: Straight-acting
See also: Dom/sub, Analism, Heterosexualization, Sexual orientation, Natural masculinity, Frot.
Colloquial term for Penis-fighting.
The insertive partner in anal penetration.
"Top" can be used as a noun or a verb: he's a top; or, he tops -- that is, takes the insertive role during anal penetration.
Synonyms: butch, daddy, dominant, master.
See also Dom/Sub
In anthropology and other social sciences, sex in return for money, goods, or favors.
For example, in Sub Saharan Africa, many teen-aged girls resort to sex with "sugar daddies" -- men in their 30s and 40s -- in order to pay for their secondary schooling.
Within the Man2Man Alliance, however, and particularly in the writing of Mart Finn, the term transactional refers to sex with a commercial aspect, even where no money changes hands.
As Mart says
In my work I do not associate any exchange of money or goods for sex when I talk about the experience being a 'transactional'one. By transactional I mean a kind of sex, whether it be casual or in a relationship, where one party or usually both are psychically distanced from each other. They are 'doing sex together' ... for themselves.
The concept is inextricably linked to the commercialisation of gay male attitudes to sex and often life. Sex is just another activity. To be compared and evaluated against previous experience and those of our peers and dominant subcultural norms. If our expectations and an ideosyncratic paradigm of desires are fixed as we engage, embrace ... come to our lovers, then we are asking them to fulfill something for US. We fully intend reciprocity ... if they can stimulate it from us.
I understand what the anthropologists are on about ... transactional ... indicates money goods or favours. Yet we know there are many other forms of transaction which are not so overt ... the motivation of modern western men and women when they engage in sex can be one of them.
See Mart's essay, CockToCock, for more about the difference between interactional and transactional sex.
See also Interactional sex
The warrior's willingness to give his life for his fellow warriors.
Warrior altruism is an integral part of the Warrior Ethos: courage, fidelity, self-sacrifice, and prowess in battle.
Warrior altruism is a particular manifestation of the trait sociobiologists call "reciprocal altruism," which can be described in somewhat simplified terms as: I'll do something for you if I'm relatively certain that you, at some point in the future, will do something for me.
Among those male-bonded groups of fighters we call warriors, reciprocal altruism takes an extreme, but very effective form: I'll die for you if you'll die for me.
The norm of warrior altruism, however, also manifests in non-lethal, non-combat, dyadic situations, and is what makes male-male couples who are emotionally and sexually faithful so powerful and so strongly bonded.
Because, ultimately, the men in these couples know they would die for each other.
Such bonds are honored in myth and epic -- Gilgamesh, The Iliad, The Celtic Tain; and in history -- David and Jonathan, Harmodius and Aristogeiton, the Sacred Band of Thebes, Alexander and Hephaestion.
See also Fidelity, Heroes, Heroic Homosex, Warrior Ethos, and Heroic Love.
Courage, fidelity, self-sacrifice, and prowess in battle.
Men living under this ethos commonly seek an intense, lifelong, erotic bond with another warrior, a union which is celebrated phallically.
Such bonds are honored in myth and epic -- Gilgamesh, The Iliad, The Celtic Tain; and in history -- David and Jonathan, Harmodius and Aristogeiton, the Sacred Band of Thebes, Alexander and Hephaestion.
Thus our Man2Man Alliance formulation:
Warrior Homosex is Heroic Homosex
Heroic Homosex is Warrior Homosex
Martial Masculine Monogamous
Phallic Masculine Heroic Prior to the 20th century, in most places on earth the warrior ethos dominated male life.
And male-male eroticism.
Analist culture, which in every particular is the opposite of warrior homosex, is a product of historical forces which took root during the 19th century and culminated in late 20th century post-industrial society.
Inevitably, analism will fade and pass away.
It's the intent of The Man2Man Alliance that Heroic Homosex and the Warrior Ethos comprise the future of men who love men, an aim which can only be achieved with the help of every man who reads this page.
Whether analism or Heroic Homosex represents the future of men who love men will be determined by the forces of history -- and by the men who read this page.
© All material on this site Copyright 2001 - 2011 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.
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