FROTTAGE A Woman Warrior Speaks

Greetings Bill:

I've been meaning to write to you on a personal level for quite sometime, ever since I read your work on male-2-male frottage.

I am a gay woman who prefers rubbing full-length against her partner (when I have one) to achieve full pleasure, from arousal to climax. I don't care for penetration or oral sex. I will enter my partner if she wishes, but I dislike oral sex.

When I was much younger and in the library looking up homosexuality, I distinctly recall reading that such activity was part of an 'immature expression of sexuality' and was thought to be especially preferred by Black women. Stupid and racist, what a combo.

In the lesbian community, there is a perception that something is wrong with you if you don't want to either give or receive oral sex. Now while I like to do a lot of things in bed, oral sex is the last thing on my list, and i've been given a hard time about that. To me, it's kind of like gay men being told that anal sex is the requirement for really being gay. Stupid and inaccurate.

I don't know what the female equivalent term for 'Cockrub Warriors' would be, but I wanted to let you know that it's not just the guys who are into it, and that you're right on the money.

Kind Regards,

Tari Akpodiete

it seems to me that sexual orthodoxies arising from a patriarchal and sex-negative culture are the issue here, for lesbians as well as gay men

Tari, like Chuck Tarver and Warrior Rob and many others, is another one of the extraordinarily brave people i've met since undertaking this work who is not afraid, despite that culture, to talk publicly about sex

for Tari to come into an all-male arena like ours and speak so openly of her own sexual practice takes exceptional courage