Your ass ain't a vagina!


Chuck Tarver

Your ass ain't a vagina!


This post is by Chuck Tarver, author of Musings of a Black Gay Man into Frot and moderator of the yahoo group Black Dicks Rub Together -- where this post first appeared.

It seems that whenever I muse about frot some brother steps forward to proclaim that anal sex allows people to feel close and connected. To which I reply bullshit! There is nothing inherent about anal sex that allows people to feel closer together. You can get the same thing by lying together holding each other listening to one another's heart beat and becoming conscious of your breathing becoming synchronized.

Besides, tell me when it is necessary to feel close to 50 strangers that one has met over the Internet, gathered in a hotel room, all pumping away all up in each other's asses? Free condoms and lube provided!

World AIDS day will be observed this coming Wednesday, December 1. We are now more than 20 years into the epidemic. African Americans, 12% of the US population, now account for more than 50% of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases. African American women make up three quarters of the HIV/AIDS cases in women. The rate among gay men increased by 17%. All this more than 20 years into a world epidemic!

Now, what you won't hear during the World AIDS observance anywhere but here. Brothers who don't give up the booty, "generally" don't get AIDS. "Generally" is the best I can do because there are no absolutes. As soon as someone proclaims an absolute, some fool with a cut on his dick is sure to let another fool with a gapping wound on his hand jerk him off and become infected. Short of that, brothers who don't give up the booty, "generally" don't get AIDS.

Why won't you hear this? Because since the 1970s anal sex has been promoted as essential to gay/msm culture. Everything else has been seen as the low-fat, low-sugar, low-sodium, low-taste alternative. Unfortunately, too many of us, including those of us on Black Dicks Rub Together have bought into the myth.

CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta has been running his special called, "RU+ Are You Positive?" this weekend. In the special is a 20-year old brother who has been diagnosed with AIDS. Yet, no one asks, Why the hell is a 20-year old brother being infected some 20+ years into the epidemic? We're all to blame for this one! Until, we all begin questioning our basic ASSumptions, we'll continue to see this and worse! Until we begin to challenge gay/msm culture which currently promotes death, we'll continue to see this and worse! Until we begin to fashion a gay/msm culture which promotes life, health and wellness, we'll continue to see this and worse!

I had a colonoscopy this past Monday, November 22. My doctor had me go in for the first one at age 48 two years earlier than usually recommended. He said, he detected some irregularities during a routine physical. Upon my first colonoscopy, they detected and removed a polyp. This put me on a three year schedule instead of the more leisurely 10-year schedule. Remembering a fine, former football player, turned sports writer acquaintance who died in his forties-I was in my 20s at the time-has led me to take this seriously. So at 51, I'm on my second colonoscopy.

My last check up was clear, so I'm now on a three to five year schedule.

Preparing for a colonoscopy sure makes on conscious of one's ass. After starving and then drinking the Fleet phospho-soda and intentionally giving one's self the runs, I thought to myself, there sure is a lot of shit up in there! How do people come to eroticize the asshole? There must have been some reason why the ancients learned to build the cooking fires away from the shit hole.

While in the endoscopy center, I became very conscious of the consent forms I was signing. They mentioned the possibility of excessive bleeding due to puncture. They mentioned that if there is excessive bleeding and the patient's blood gets on any member of the medical team, the blood will be tested for HIV. They mentioned that there is a possibility of infection from fecal matter getting into the blood stream. Added to that, while waiting I had the option of reading either women's magazines or medical journals. I chose a medical journal and read up on fecal incontinence. I had just gotten to the part about sphincter failure when I was called in for my exam. According to the article one of the main reasons is stretching and loss of musculature due to objects penetrating the anus. As I slipped into unconsciousness, I was aware that a lot of things can go wrong with one's ass.

Someone needs to tell gay/msm:

Your ass ain't a vagina!

  • A vagina can stretch to accommodate the head of a full-term baby. Try that with your ass.

  • A vagina self lubricates. Try that with your ass.

  • A vagina protects itself from infection. Try that with your ass.

  • A vagina is multilayered. The colon has only a single layer of cells separating it from the bloodstream.

All STIs including: Anal Cancer, Chlamydia trachomatis, Crptosporidium, Giardia lamblia, Herpes simplex virus, Human papilloma virus, Isospora belli, Microsporidia, Gonorrhea, Viral hepatitis types B & C, Syphilis and of course HIV are transmitted more easily by anal penetration than by vaginal penetration.

Yet, without question, we gay/msm have come to regard anal sex as essential. Even too many of us who chose to belong to Black Dicks Rub Together

So I ask yet again, Is anyone here really into frot?

Bill Weintraub

Re: Your ass ain't a vagina!


Thanks Chuck.

"Your ass ain't a vagina!" says it all.

Chuck also said, "A vagina is multilayered. The colon has only a single layer of cells separating it from the bloodstream."

It's really important to understand that.

As I explain in an anus is not a vagina, the mucosal lining of your anus and rectum consists of a single layer of cells thinner and more fragile than an onion skin.

After that, there's just "vascular tissue" -- blood.

Any time you bottom, any time you're penetrated -- whether by penis, finger, or dildo -- that thin mucosal layer gets torn.

When that happens, whatever pathogens are in your feces, whatever virus, bacteria, or protozoans are in the top's precum or ejaculate, whatever germs are on the skin of his penis or his finger or the surface of the condom and/or the dildo -- are now in your blood.

Do you understand that?

The mucosal lining of the anus and rectum cannot protect you.

It's far too thin.

That's why there's an MSM AIDS epidemic.

HIV's "infectivity" is low -- that means it's relatively difficult to get infected.

Unless of course the virus is injected directly into your blood.

Which is what happens when someone cums in your ass.

They're not really cumming in your ass.

They're cumming -- shooting -- in your blood.

That extreme vulnerability of the anus is also the reason that 57% of HIV *negative* gay men have anal HPV -- the precursor to anal cancer.

It's been injected there.

And it stays there until it has done whatever it's going to do.

Including killing you.

Would you let someone jab a hypodermic full of poison into one of your veins?


You'd fight him with all your strength.

Yet you'll let a guy cum in your ass.

That's insane.

How come the "safer-sex" boyz never put it that way?

Because basically they think you're a child, that you can't handle the truth, and that you can't change.

Better to tell you, they say, to use a condom "every time."

Without mentioning condom failure rates.

Or cumulative effectiveness:

If the "breakage and slippage" rate for condoms is 1.6% each time you use a condom -- what is it after 10 times?

100 times?

Do the math.


And for what then have you sacrificed both your manhood and your precious life?

Anal penetration isn't sex.

It's an oppressed minority's fantasy of what sex should be, driven by a misunderstanding of what sex actually is.

Sex is genital contact and mutual genital pleasure.

Penetration is necessary for procreation -- but not for sex between men.

In fact, penetrating a shit hole while pretending it's a vagina destroys m2m sex, destroys MSM lives, destroys male-male relationships too.

Don't give up the booty.

Give up the bullshit.

Stop doing anal.

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