CJT

A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-7-2005

I'm a 24 year old guy living in Florida.

I've never been too keen on anal sex. I've done this years ago, years back when I was a youthful teenager just learning about the homosexual culture and going through the self-discovery of being a homosexual myself. Never have I been satisfied or even comfortable with this act. It was rather degrading, unnecessary, painful at first, then afterwards once "Broken in", just absolute discomfort. And to those dudes who want to somehow boost their ego on sexual stamina and bedroom forte, please omit the comments of "Whoever I was with wasn't doing it right to invoke my pleasures while penetrating me." That is untrue, and irrelevant. The mere thought of being jabbed up a shit-pipe was absolutely vulgar, and to whoever obsessively boasts of being a top, How can you justify inserting your Penis into a tunnel that six hours or six minutes earlier was squeezing out human wastes? Just recognizing the reality of the act should be enough of a turn off and a mood damper. Anal sex is a reduction of character in the homosexual empire; it is not necessary and is not normal, nor in any given participant's best welfare or safety in the long run.

What is more uncomfortable than the act itself is the constant nagging, pushing and disrespectful persistence by those who cannot take "no" for an answer. The amount of Gay males who attempt to criticize me for my own preferences, as if theirs dictate a "universal expectation" of all gay men. The majority of gay men loose interest in meeting me once they learn they will not be playing anal recruiter with me. To them, unless they are getting plugged or doing the plugging within the first passing few hours of meeting you, it's not worth the time, drive, nor inconvenience. So unless I bend over or hold my feet over the back of my head waiting to be painfully plundered by a dick-sloppy stereotyped gay man, acting on what is expected of both of us to do as per being queer, then I'm not any longer desirable or worth-while.

Then there are those other large numbers of gay men who will show acceptance and be somewhat understanding towards my stand and preferences, then after a few weeks, or even a few days in some instances, get antsy and disenchanted with me because they presumptuously assumed they could of eventually "Cracked the code" with my no-anal-access rule... And, after hanging around for a little bit and then noticing the reality, walk out....

Anal sex seems to be the top and number one concern with gay men. It's all about dick size, capacity, top or bottom, bare backing, anal sex position playing, "Getting fucked" like a degraded animal. It's angering to be harrassed, taunted and criticized about it when you choose not to do it. "Frot" (Penis to Penis sex), oral, and other INTIMATE more connective ways of expressing sexual energy are discarded at once as inadequate and "foreplay" to gay men. For a guy who may be a bit weak or insecure, after awhile it makes you feel like you have a little less to offer to others. For myself, I am often overly too confident, and I don't bend or buckle with my beliefs and convictions, so the frustration of others' lack of understanding towards my perspectives is basically all I usually have to contend with.

My Best lovers, and best experiences have been "Frot" experiences. They have all been frontal genital to genital sex. The candidness of connecting to your partner is enhanced as you BOTH possess an equal role in the bedroom, BOTH being gratified by the same sexual arousals and pleasures, and BOTH remaining in a safe-zone from diseases and internal problems associated with anal sex.

Probably one of the worst circumstances to be having a hot Frot experience, then to have your partner bust out on you with "Oh God, I want to fuck you so bad right now," immediately giving you the nonchalant gesture of what you are currently doing is substandard and inadequate to them, that unless they score and rip your anal tissue a bit and constipate you for the next few days, then their level of interest and pleasure is obscured by your unwillingness to be their puppet of pain and disease contracting.. .

The basis:

Once guys discover their gayness, their "alternative sexuality," they immediately embark on self-discovery and education with an onslaught of details and learning experiences to better acquaint themselves, to better learn who they are as a gay man. They often start by candid conversations revolving around sexuality, pornography films, and files on the Internet, Graphics, pictures, and soon enough Gay Clubs, Internet chat rooms, and message boards once ready and comfortable with themselves to outwardly connect to others in the gay community.

Each of these above outlets widely promote anal sex. For anal is all gay men seem to ever think, talk about and desire. After enough visualizing material, and interaction with other homosexuals, they begin to feel anal penetration is what Gay "IS", it is what Gay men must do with other gay men to truly be "Gay"... That anything and everything else is a gateway act to it in the bedroom. What is that? Pleasure? Self-Awareness? Identity? *NO*, that is COMFORMITY, and self-degradation. That is doing what is expected, and stereotyped, of your supposed "kind" in popular society.

KNOW THAT AN ANUS IS NOT A VAGINA.... IT IS NOT a sexual orifice, It is not built to withstand constant penetration, and the ramifications in the long run are NOT pleasant to those that relate to the act as a day-to-day activity. Would you stick your penis in a car exhaust pipe? A littered hole in the ground? or in a moldy fungus-growing loaf of bread perhaps? Of course not, but all of the above are much more of a cleaner situation than inserting your cock in an ass, AND SAFER.. If YOU return with an argument that anal sex is pleasurable to you, ITS CALLED PSYCHO-SOMATICS, Keep telling yourself you have a stomach ache, and focus in on the thought for a while....... and soon enough.. you'll have one. Same rules apply to both... Try to fight that statement, and we'll see who can back it up more with medical, psychological, and physical factors.... The mechanics of the human body cannot withstand this act, the tissue content is NOT designed for that kind of abuse.... And it is practically impossible not to continue doing this act without breaking or ripping tissue within the rectum.. And soon enough afterwards, you are going to have to go to the bathroom, and as your excretion passes through, what do you think happens?

Infection, disease, and problems..... Look up the public medical reports and statistics circumscribing anal induced sex, and realize how many have had infections due to torn anal tissue....

All anal sex feels like to me, is fifteen minutes of feeling like you have to take the largest dump of your life, and then it's over.. IF THAT is supposed to entice sexual arousal for a gay man, then I might have to rethink my options of being gay altogether.

MEN AND WOMEN DO NOT have to have penetration to have a climactic orgasm, the simple friction of genitalia triggers orgasm through the clitoris and phallus, the penetration is necessary for procreation, but the pleasure is the same in either regard.... Anal culture tells you that the entire shaft of the penis must be tightly wrapped into an orifice to feel pleasure, but it is truly not even necessary to reach a sexual height.

Effeminate men believe they must take on the role of a woman to fulfill a more straight-acting gay man's role of pleasure. Somehow falsely allowing the use of their anus as a vagina. What's hypocritical and amusing to me is to listen to most effeminate gay boys disrespectfully make puns and refer with disgust in the anatomy of a woman. Analogically referencing a vagina to "FISH," cringing at the thought of vaginal sex, then turning around and pretending their anus is one...

Um, think about it.. A Vagina is so nasty and crude to you, being a definite known sex organ, yet a shit-filled ass is more of a turn on to internally go into, a definite NON-sex organ? I fail to recognize the thought process in this one, mainly subject to the over-bearing obviousness that most gay men simply DON'T THINK.... they continually act on "expected impulses" instead of reasoning about what they are doing before they do it. That's why disease is so prevalent in the gay communities. Try exercising all your options, before you throw your legs up into the air expecting popularity and normality from it, because if being a known slut with loss of restraint on their bowel movements is somehow a normal popularity to you, then something is definitely wrong with you.

The stories and rumors going around about me are a bit fun, but all false. Out of all the guys I've had sexual experiences with, I'd like one to find me and say "I had anal sex with you", and the room will await in silence before it's understood that Anal sex is something I just do not do. If you don't like that fact, then don't approach me, certainly do NOT pander to me or attempt to force me beyond my willing restraints just so you can have your short lived gratifications from my discomforts. What most gays do is NOT natural, it is NOT safe, and then they wonder why they have so many demeaning discriminations, mockery, and loss of respect by it. Why they have such a building rate of disease, and casual reckless encounters that bring them on. Why they can't walk upright by the age of 35, or constantly have infections and "off days".. and yet not study the evident facts of why...

Sex should be something MUTUALLY entered into with both persons involved being pleasured and comforted during it. Sex should NOT be an endangerment of your body or of your health. Sex should NOT be something done recklessly or without practicing safety or knowledge on who your partner is before allowing them to be your partner. Sex should NOT smell like shit while it's being performed. Sex should NOT be a formality or conformist activity, Sex is the one thing, we should all know by now, that you can just be yourself, let loose and enjoy your body and liberation with it. Sex should not be orchestrated by multiple partners at one time, or putting your genitalia in areas that it is NOT meant to go in. Here's a good relating metaphor. Most people get sickened of the thought of water sports, the act of urinating on your partner, granted there being a variety of gay males who enjoy this act.. But the point is, How can you claim that to be such a sick thing to do, when you are penetrating through human feces and excretion? One can't balance out the other guys.. Same thing, both being as vulgar and unnatural as the other..

In the end, it is up to you to practice whatever sexual discretions and acts you choose, safely or unsafely... in your own volition and concern for life.... But, don't attach labels to others who choose not to conform to your disgusting acts,.... Because to any moral, self-aware, confident person, these following terms are truly the catalyst towards the first action of disrespect upon homosexuality, and truly we can live without them. And what is sad is the most disrespect to gays, comes from gays..

TOP
BOTTOM
VERSATILE
QUEEN
BEAR
TWINK
SUGAR DADDY
ESCORT
BI, GAY, TRI, BI-CURIOUS...

If you need a label to understand just exactly who you are, then chances are, you will never know..... Those who need labels, need extra security from their own fears and lack of identities.

Thank you,

CJT. (A Gay Anti-Conformist)

Greg Milliken

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-8-2005

Amazing post CJT. It reminded me of all the little goth kids who think they are being anti-conformist by conforming to a different norm. Gay culture is a lot like that with the anal, but they just don't see it.

Greg Milliken

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Bill G

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-08-2005

Great Post!!!!!!!! I especially think your statement about " If you need a label to define yourself" is very accurate.

Todays society, especially in America, has no definention to what being a man means anymore. The ideal has been blurred by Madison avenue, by political correctness, and a host of others. That's why I feel so many people catagorize themselves, in order to give themselves some defination of who they are.

Anyway, great post!!!!

Bill G

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Logan

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-11-2005

Awesome post. Perfectly said. We have to hold true to our cause, and our goals. Those out there that buy into the anal cult, and demean frot are lost. If we can reach them with facts, and experience, and information like this site, then perhaps things will change for the better. (The regional chapters Bill has championed will be a great way to change the way people think.)

But, there will always be ignorant people who don't get it, and will always be lost in their anal cult. People who walk away from us because we are steadfast in our principles, are not worth our time. In the end it's their loss.

Logan

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Bill Weintraub

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-11-2005

Thanks to all of you.

Logan is right that after a certain point, those buttboyz who won't listen, aren't worth it.

At the same time, guys, it's important to understand that all men who've bought into anal are *not* necessarily lost.

For thirty years, those men have been bombarded 24/7 with the message that if it isn't anal, it isn't real, it isn't true, it isn't gay.

That's the message we need to change and we're working to change.

And as I keep saying, it takes time to change a culture.

A good model is the anti-smoking campaign.

Like anal, smoking was glamorized for decades.

And it took time for public health officials and private-sector activists to de-glamorize smoking.

But that campaign is now succeeding.

People now recognize that there's no safe way to smoke and that bad breath and a hacking cough are not sexy.

So it can be done.

It requires perseverance -- as I keep saying also, the race is not to the swift, but to the strong.

And staying on message -- as Logan says, "We have to hold true to our cause, and our goals."

And that each of you contribute to the effort:

• By coming out to your family and friends as a man into Frot;

• By putting a link to this site -- htptp://www.man2manalliance.org/ -- on every online profile you have and anywhere else appropriate on the web;

• By participating in the Regional Chapters; and,

• By Donating.

If each of you would do those things, your lives would change immeasurably for the better, and very quickly too.

The problem right now is not so much the analists, as it is you, and your failure to participate.

For example, instead of reaching, week after week, through advertising, the thousands of guys out there like our gay anti-conformist CJT, I struggle each month just to keep the sites online.

Cause you don't donate.

You really need to think through what your life is at present and what it could be.

And you need to understand that there's a lot wrong with anal:

• Shit.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," they have to deal with shit.

  How sexy is that?

• Dominance.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," they have to deal with who's on top.

  How sexy is that?

• Disease.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," they have to worry about some of the most fearsome diseases -- HIV, hepatitis, anal cancer, antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, LGV -- on the planet.

  How sexy is that?

• Pain.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," someone gets hurt.

  Ouch.

  How sexy is that?

• Leakage, fissures, and other mechanical problems.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," the bottom's butt is physically damaged.

  How sexy is that?

• Promiscuity.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," they have to wonder about how many other guys their partner has been with.

  And how much longer he'll be with them.

  How sexy is that?

• Effeminization.

  Everytime "guys into anal" have "sex," someone gets effeminized.

  How sexy is that?

Shit, dominance, disease, pain, leakage, fissures, promiscuity, loss of masculinity.

Those are problems and they're BIG problems.

Now look at what you bring to the table as a Frot man.

• FROT.

  Love-making which centers on phallus, on manhood, on that which makes you male.

• Equality.

  No tops, no bottoms, just two guys loving each other as only two guys can.

• Health.

  The STD risk from Frot is virtually non-existent.

• Pure genital joy.

  No pain.

  Just pure genital pleasure.

• Fidelity.

  It's the gold standard in human relationships.

• Masculinity.

  Masculinity is what men, and particularly men who love other men, value and cherish.

Phallus. Equality. Health. Joy. Fidelity. Masculinity.

Those are all pluses and big pluses.

It's a no-brainer:

There are no negatives to Frot.

All there is, is pure, unadulterated, man2man pleasure.

Remember what Don Frazer says:

When penis and testicles are joined, it is a quintessentially MALE intercourse, with sexual "communion" felt by both partners directly through their cocks, and being stimulated by totally masculine contact. No feminization, no penetration, only true male/male SHARED excitement. Better still, partners achieve a natural, fully male union when they climax as MEN, offering up their semen as tribute to each other's masculinity. A unique combo of strength and tenderness at the same time.

Nothing more beautifully can describe how "we love our maleness, and that of our partners."

And most "gay" guys are just regular-guys seeking union with other regular-guy types, not the femme/butch stereotypes we've all seen in bars, etc.

Lets continue to define ourselves as males, so everyone knows where we stand.

The point being that simply being "anti" something (such as anti-anal) out there in the trenches of misery and self loathing that often characterize "gay" (non-sequitur) society is not enough. Here on this forum, we proudly proclaim our maleness and the beauty of sharing those fundamental masculine feelings with another through genital mating.

We are PRO cock-to-cock.....defiantly challenging the he/she culture by advocating the true homosexual union of male anatomy. Not as a substitute for penetration, but in fact the REAL THING.....the main event enabling male union in the most direct and intimate experience by joining cocks and balls and sharing the culmination of masculinity together as equals.

Guys, stop cowering in your closets.

Be confident of what you know to be true.

For there's no ally more powerful than truth.

FIGHT BACK. SAVE YOUR LIFE.

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Logan

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-11-2005

You are totally right Bill. All of us have to do our part in this fight -- a fight to improve society and change the way people think.

Another great thing CJT noted above that I totally agree with is the problem of labels. Labels put people in a tight box, and people are more complicated than any box allows for. The problem is that though some people desire so much to be a part of a group that they fall into the group thinking. The pro-anal crowd have been very good putting forward the idea that all homosex must at some point involve anal.

Once we strike a strong blow to that group think, minds will open up and people will think different.

Logan

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AJ

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

11-17-2005

Great post!!! As Louis Armstrong stated "No boxes!!!" Human beings are complicated creatures with the ability to think for oneself. We need to love ourselves first before others can love us. Meaning we must have the backbone and fortitude to stand up for our principles and not let another person violate them. Anal sex is a very degrading, vulgar act and should not be practiced. We should treat our bodies as temples they are. If we practice The "golden rule" of treating others a we want to treated.

Take care of yourselves. Peace, love, and blessings to all!!!

AJ

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Zoltan

Re: A Gay Anti-Conformist

12-3-2005

Great posts, CJT and Bill!

Zoltan

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