many people have trouble with the idea that culture influences sexual expression

they understand and accept that culture determines the clothes they wear and the food they eat and perhaps the God they worship too, but they tend to think of sexuality as something totally inward, unaffected by the tides of cultural change

that idea is false

although there's only one way in which men and women can biologically mate, there are a myriad of ways in which human beings can play sexually -- and those ways are often culturally dictated

the safer sex establishment agrees with us on this key point -- being made up of sociologists and social workers, it has no choice but to agree

for example, the Executive Summary of the SF AIDS Foundation's "Qualitative Interview Study (QIS II) of 92 Gay and Bisexual Males Regarding HIV Risk and Sexual Behavior," a study sponsored by The San Francisco AIDS Foundation in partnership with The University of California at San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies and concluded in December, 1997, pointed out that

...among gay men high numbers of sexual partners, active engagement in anal sex, and sexual exploration are perceived as norms that legitimize an individual's gay identity. QIS II participants voiced concerns that on many levels, HIV prevention messages collided with these norms by asking men to question and possibly change practices that are part of the foundation of gay male identity...

In QIS II, individual formulation of gay male identity and self-worth to a significant degree was based on adherence to specific sexual performance standards and practices within gay male culture. Men in QIS II frequently described anal sex, and particularly anal sex without condoms, as a means to affirm their gay identity, experience intimacy, and feel a broader social and cultural connection.

[emphases mine]

so: guys are promiscuous ("high numbers of sexual partners") anally ("active engagement in anal sex") to "legitimize" their "gay male identity" and feel a "cultural connection"

not because it feels good, or because they're born with some innate need to get fucked

they do it to adhere "to specific sexual performance standards and practices within gay male culture"

which they learn about through cultural messages, including but hardly limited to porn and safer sex campaigns, and which are most often enforced through peer pressure

i've talked about these issues at length in Hyacinthine Love and the various articles found in the Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution section of the site, and i encourage those of you who wonder why you're so oppressed to read those articles

because too many of you believe what the analists tell you: that your love of frot is odd

it's not

but so long as you believe that, you'll allow yourselves to be painted into a corner and put into a box

and you'll never get out of it -- you'll stay there, miserable and alone, for the rest of your days

if you're clear, on the other hand, that those importuning you to have anal are simply parroting the analist line, you can fight back

as the Cockster says:

As always, I reaffirm, be proud ... when a guy suggests fucking ... don't be humble about suggesting other horny and intimate ways of sharing each other. Men respond and understand definite and certain responses from their male lover.

[When men] meet as equals and consent to share a sexual interaction ... the influence of a third party ... amorphous cultural pressure ... is negated by their instinctive and natural mutual arousal ... face to face ... man2man ... cocktocock.

And hell .... we all know how up front the analists are about demanding 'to fuck'. Cocktocock, frot and cocktocockjo guys should be the same ... but with more style !!!

PS

or

Sociologists say the darndest things

let's revisit the QIS for just a moment:

"...among gay men high numbers of sexual partners, active engagement in anal sex, and sexual exploration are perceived as norms that legitimize an individual's gay identity. [emphasis mine]

so let's see

we've got promiscuity, anal, and ...

"sexual exploration" -- just what do you think Dr. Coates, author of this study, and his colleagues mean by that?

hugging and kissing?

well, they may be sexual, but most don't find them very adventuresome

how bout: fisting, rimming, water sports, and group sex?

does that sound more exploratory to you?

it does to me, and this is a good example of the safer sex establishment tacitly underwriting raunch, kink, and sleaze in the gay male commmunity, while of course being oh-so-careful not to judge or condemn

you see, the safer sex establishment, which dwells in a morally relativist universe, says that its mandate extends only to risk reduction, not cultural change

yet, as i've argued in a very mild op-ed titled Risk-reduction or Cultural Change? which no one would publish, the safer-sex boyz are being disingenuous in the extreme

because the reality is that they're in the culture change business, that all those messages they generate about condoms and negotiating bondage and having casual fun with your butt have been changing the culture, have been tilting it towards anal and promiscuity and kink

while effectively derogating frot and monogamy and truly healthy sex

fact is, bout the only people they do appear to judge or condemn are guys like us -- that is, guys who are critical of anal

they judge us by refusing to talk to us and by claiming we should be put in jail -- see "you should be put in jail" on this board for more

at the same time, Dr. Coates has called for a new generation of leaders in the gay community on the issue of safer sex (see Maybe We Should Just Stop?)

yet when i suggest to him that there's a new generation of leaders right here in the Frot Movement, he doesn't respond

guess he only wants his kind of leader

whatever Dr Coates may want, however, on this site we are offering choices and moral choices at that

we're opposed to promiscuity, anal, kink, raunch, and sleaze, and you'll never find us telling people that sexual exploration is good in and of itself

because it's not

it depends on what you're exploring

if you're exploring cock2cock with your best bud, that's fine

but if you're exploring sucking the jizz out of someone's butthole, that's not fine -- not at all -- it's bad, stupid, and potentially deadly

in the 1970s key feminists attempted to enshrine the notion that all sex is good

but the only way they could do that was by redefining sex

for example, under feminism, rape ceased to be sex -- it became instead an act of violence and social control

of course, rapists use violence and/or threats of violence, and in so doing they exert male control over women, but rape is still sex

not good sex -- it's awful sex -- but it's still sex

so while sex is often good and even more than good, it's not always so

and of course the same is true of sexual exploration

the safer-sex establishment doesn't see it that way -- but that's because the safer-sex boyz, while purporting to be scientists, are in reality limited by ideology, much of it feminist, which says you can't ever criticize sex, or what is called sex

that's not so, and on this site we will continue to make distinctions between good sex -- sex that's masculine, moral, and healthy -- and anal penetration -- which is none of those things

Robert Loring

Re: Culture, Culture, Culture

12-9-2002

"And hell .... we all know how up front the analists are about demanding 'to fuck'. Cocktocock, frot and cocktocockjo guys should be the same ... but with more style !!!"

I agree Bill. It is time we speak out and let the BFD know that we are NOT going to be forced into conformity and demean ourselves in the process!! We are WARRIORS and it is time we act and speak like warriors with STYLE. We dont have to conform to the gay anal sex dictatorship and we WON'T conform!! If we cower down to the BFD then we are not warriors at all instead we are WEAK conformists.

Stand your ground Warriors and DEFY the BFD!! Speak out against the BFD and let them know, with style, that we do NOT want to be one of them. We can love other guys and we can have sex with other guys but we DONT have to do it anally as the BFD demands. We have chosen another way and it is time the BFD realize there is another way.