Amid all the attention, donations are way too low

Bill Weintraub

Bill Weintraub

Amid all the attention, donations are way too low



This month we've received a lot of attention. That's because I sent a letter to Larry Kramer addressing concern over the emergence of a possible HIV superbug, to which he responded by talking about Frot on PlanetOut/gay dot com.

Two venues which for literally years I've asked to cover our story.

At the same time Larry included in his statement a call to de-eroticize anal -- which we've been advocating, and indeed doing, for five years.

Nevertheless, it's great that Larry finally, in response to my repeated urging, spoke out.

Of course not all the attention we got through my letter to Larry has been positive.

As usual, analist ideologues have come onto our sites and scoured them for the least deviation from analist orthodoxy, which they then seek to use to discredit all of our work.

This time around it's been effeminacy.

Larry himself demanded that we change our stance on effeminate behavior.

Which of course we will not do.

The last thing we, or the community of "men who have sex with men" (MSM) need, is someone like Larry, whose policies over the last five years have led to more than 100,000 new MSM infections, imposing those failed solutions on us.

We're the guys who are HIV negative, and have remained so throughout the epidemic.

Guys who are poz, including Larry Kramer, need to learn from us -- not dictate to us.

So what's wrong with effeminacy?

Tolerance of effeminacy by mainstream gay male culture enshrines a homophobic lie at the heart of that culture: that men who have sex with men aren't really men, but are a sort of pseudo-woman.

That's not true.

Men who have sex with men, regardless of whether they self-identify as gay, bi, or straight, are all men.

And their behavior in key aspects is male.

One of the most obvious of these is promiscuity.

In our culture, gay men are notoriously promiscuous.

Even more so than straight men.


Because there are genetically-determined differences in reproductive strategies between men and women.

For example, before a man can have consensual sex with a woman, he has to court her.

As any straight guy can tell you, even a woman who's considered sexually loose demands that a male jump through a series of hoops before she'll have sex with him.

If gay men were in some way women, you'd expect them to behave the same -- to require some sort of courtship -- flowers, dinner and a movie, and of course promises of undying love -- before they'd make themselves sexually available.

Gay and bi men do nothing of the kind.

I've had sex where I've done nothing more than whip my dick out while the other guy whipped out his, and we've rubbed and jerked them to orgasm.

Without a word being spoken.

Try doing that with a woman.

Try for example, sitting down next to an attractive woman in a straight bar and whipping your dick out.

And see what happens.

You'd be lucky to escape with your member still attached to your body.

That's a crucial difference.

And that's why we have a promiscuity problem, and with it a huge health crisis, among gay and bi men.

If gay men were women, that promiscuity and with it those health problems would not exist, or at worst would be at about the same level as among exclusively heterosexual people.

Instead, STD rates among gay men are astronomical.

Gay men, therefore, like other men who have sex with men, are men.

And their promiscuity stems, in part, from their fundamental maleness.

Of course, that's not the only cause of promiscuity among contemporary gay men.

Nevertheless, the extent of gay male promiscuity is an indicator of just how essentially male gay men are.

Telling them that they're not male, and supporting that lie to avoid offending our putative feminist allies, is not helpful.

And clearly it facilitates anal penetration, since if you're not really a man, if you're a pseudo-woman, you might as well act like one.

And be penetrated.

That's why we don't support effeminacy.

And, predictably, the terminally politically correct are on our case for our stance.

Nevertheless, we have been getting a lot of attention, including from folks who refused to report on us for years.

And hopefully that will prove to be a good thing.

At the same time, when I've been super busy trying to deal with all the work attendant upon this attention, donations have fallen to zero.

Guys, try to figure it out.

We can't keep the sites online without money.

And I can't spend all my time begging you for money, and still do all the other things I'm expected to do.

So you need to DONATE, and regularly.

And you need to DONATE NOW, so that we have enough money to keep the sites online in March.

As I keep warning you, I'm very close to closing the sites.

That's not posturing.

I don't posture.

If I close the sites, it will be because I'm tired of making these appeals.

Today, an article appeared in DC's gay paper, The Washington Blade, about how a local AIDS agency spent $438,000 on World AIDS Day for utterly needless publicity.


That's one analist agency in one American city in ONE DAY.

And I'm out here every month begging.

I will not keep doing it.

In the meantime, some dope -- who claims he's a wrestler -- submitted a post titled "Warriors Don't Need Validation."

His self-serving thesis was that we shouldn't be "imposing" our views on the analists.

As though we could.

What he's actually doing is putting forth an excuse for not being engaged with his world.

At a moment in m2m history when we've lost 500,000 American MSM to an anally-transmitted disease, another 100,000 have been infected in the last five years alone, and we're warned of the inevitability of a superbug which will kill even more.

Guys, in *every* warrior myth -- and in the Alliance we use warrior as a metaphor for man -- the warrior MUST engage with the central issue of his time.

That's his task.

Most of you have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which is a modern re-telling of the core warrior myth.

In LOTR, there are moments when warriors -- in Gondar and Rohan for example -- seek to evade their duty to fight evil.

Until they're recalled to it.

There's a similar moment in the Achilles myth.

The central event of Achilles' time was the Trojan War -- the first and without question primal war between Europe and Asia.

Achilles' mother is a goddess, and, knowing that the war is coming, tries to shield her son from it by stealing him from his mentor, the centaur Chiron, and taking him to the island of Scyros, where she hides him among the royal maidens, dressing him in women's clothes.

In other words, she effeminizes him.

Odysseus, who is the cleverest of mortals, arrives in Scyros with a ruse designed not just to find Achilles, but to recall him to his true nature.

At a festival, after the maidens, including Achilles in drag, have danced for the king, Odysseus puts before them a pile of gifts.

Gender-specific gifts, such as brooches and combs.

But there's also a shield and a spear.

And while the royal maidens choose those gifts suitable for maidens, Achilles, at the sight of the implements of war, and completely forgetting that he's supposed to be in hiding, shakes off his women's robes and ribbons and eagerly grasps the weapons.

And with them his destiny.

The story's not politically correct at all.

But the Greeks who told this tale were making a point about their greatest hero and by extension, for the hero is *the* male role model, all men:

That a man must be a man.

And that to be a man, a man must accept and answer to the challenge of his age.

If he seeks to evade that challenge, he's effeminized, and becomes a pseudo-woman, a travesty, neither male nor female.

Useless to either sex.

So you can either join this fight -- and as a Frot man it is *your* fight -- or become a de facto eunuch, your life, as I've said before, little more than a series of masturbatory incidents.

It's your choice.

This week we've made some welcome progress.

If you want to see us build on that progress:


Fight back.

Save your life.


Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low


Guys, it is important that you send Bill some money, whatever your income level. I'm a low income working class guy, literally counting every dollar, but I sent Bill $3 last week and I'll send him a little more when I get my next paycheck. If you can afford a computer and internet service, you can at least do that. That's the price of a drink at a bar, or a Big Mac. Don't be a freeloader. Freeloading is for losers. Real men don't freeload. If you agree with Bill and like the site, dig in your pockets and send him something.

AIDS, Inc. is swimming in money--literally millions of dollars. We can't match that, but we can start fighting back. And that starts with you. Send what you can, even sacrifice a bit. The best things in life are not free. If you value what Bill is doing, pay for it. I do know about the economics of running a web site, and Bill is not kidding when he says he might have to shut it down.


Bill G


Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low

I agree, every bit helps. Bill's message needs to be able to stay out there. Think how much this site has helped you. Wouldn't you feel good knowing that by keeping this site up you allowed another man to be helped as you have been? Not to mention the prospect of saving another man from the scourge of STD's and the loss of self.

Bill G


Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low


I sent in a small donation of twenty dollars last month and plan on doing it again in March. I ask others to do the same as I would hate this site to cease existing. I'm doing it for us as I feel bonded to other men through this medium.


Bill Weintraub

Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low


Mark says "AIDS, Inc. is swimming in money--literally millions of dollars. We can't match that, but we can start fighting back. And that starts with you. Send what you can, even sacrifice a bit. The best things in life are not free."

Bill G talks of "saving another man from the scourge of STD's and the loss of self."

Luis says "I'm doing it for us as I feel bonded to other men through this medium."

Thanks guys.

Those are three beautifully-expressed reasons to donate:

Because the folks who oppose us, and who are so rich, are at the same time so wrong.

Because you can save another man from the scourge of STD's and the loss of self.

And because it's for yourself, for a way to feel bonded to other men.

That's what this is about.

Speaking truth to power.

Saving our fellow Men who Love Men from sexually transmitted disease while recalling them to their true and authentic selves.

And most of all for yourself, for a way to feel bonded to other men and for the promise that holds for your future.

Mark, Bill G, Luis.

Three true warriors.

Join Mark, Bill G, Luis, and so many others who have contributed.

Despite their efforts, donations are still way too low.

Yet we've come so far.

Now we're on gay dot com.

Don't give up.

Fight back.

Save your life.


Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low


its good to see that brothers are making efforts to donate what they can...but i'll add my voice to call on the rest of the brothers to donate to this cause...i have said it before that the amount of money that most of you use to buy luxuries on a weekly basis could easily be diverted to this cause...with little impact on your doesnt take much...give monthly or give a lump sum doesnt matter how you give...but you cannot expect bill to finance a movement by himself...the man has as many personal responsibilities as the rest of us...he still has to buy his his rent or off utility bills etc etc...but he sacrifices (a very heroic concept) his time...his money and his reputation on a daily basis...the least we can do is suport his efforts with regular donations...

...put aside all the warrior talk and what not...and look at this as a purely humanitarian movement...the purpose of this site is to raise awareness that will save human ignore this cause is to turn your back on all those men who will be exposed to AIDS...if you can do something to help even one of those men...then you ought to do so...this is a moral issue...a human issue...

...its easy to lose sight of this fact...because the focus of this site's attention is on the gay we throw the words and straight around...but these are just bi or straight...the fact remains...that these are human beings who are is a human being who has contracted that supervirus...and had he had a different way of looking at his life as a man who loves men...he may never have contracted that superbug...but he didnt have that opportunity...because the BFD controls the gay community...and men like bill are kept out of the media loop...this site attempts to breach the barriers set up by the BFD establishment...but it cannot do that if it does not exist...and to exist it needs needs you and i to give as generously as we can...

...the worst thing we can do is to have the mentality that someone else will pay for it...that some other brother will write a check or send a money order to support this cause...that as long as you just come to the site it will miraculously be there each day...i come to this site at least five times a catch up on the get some news that i dont ordinarily have access to...and i dont want it to go away...and i would be very upset to come one evening to find that the site shut down due to lack of funds...i wont hold bill responsible...i wont hold myself responsible (i have donated)...i wont hold the other brothers, who have donated as well, responsible...i wont hold the BFD responsible...i will hold all the brothers who were too lazy...too afraid...or too wishy washy to sign a check responsible...and while i do not know any of you personally...i will know that whoever you are you are not to be are the ones who would break ranks in a battle...who would betray the troops when the going gets rough...all because you dont have the balls to write a check for ten dollars...thats sad...its pathetic...and its a sorry statement about the quality of 'manhood' in this day and age... let me interject the warrior concept back into this discussion...warriors are honorable...and they recognize that their primary purpose is to defend those unable to defend that could mean they are physically too weak...or they are children...or they are caught in a mentality that is oppressive...if you call yourself a warrior but do nothing to help these oppressed people...young brothers who grow being taught that they have to spread their ass cheeks and accept anal penetration as a way of life...what alternatives have the had presented to them...more directly...what alternatives have YOU presented to them...right now their are hundred...perhaps thousands of boys in america and around the world...who are being initiated into the BFD as submissive bottoms...many will die before they reach the age of fifty...thats a life expectancy that one expects in the middle ages when the plague ravaged 1/3 of the european population...its not acceptable in the 21st century...a nation that boasts about having the greatest medical knowledge...and boasts about being the greatest protector of human dignity and honor...meanwhile...multitudes die of AIDS related diseases...who is responsible for that...well what does the word responsibility mean...lets break it down into its component have RESPONSE and ABILITY...the ability to respond...and i know that each of us has the ability to some this AIDS plague...therefore it is our responsibility to make sure the means exists to provide an alternative to anal penetration to these young brothers...and if we fail to meet this responsibility then we cannot call ourselves warriors...

...i dont know how much longer bill can produce this site...i am guessing that as his pleas for donations to increases the likelihood that the site is reaching its end...dont let that happen...every brother reading these posts...if you havent given something this year you ought to do so...


Bill Weintraub

Re: Amid all the attention, donations are way too low


Thanks Joel.

Yesterday, in the message thread titled were warriors at a time when boys now are like girls, Robert Loring added a terrific reply to Joel's and Andrew's thoughts about emasculation and effeminization in contemporary society, and about the importance of male role models.

Sadly, most gay role models today are feminized role models. They are males trying to be females and that brings about confusion in young minds. There are also the role models of men who hate gay males and make it very known. Such role models only serve to further the confusion of a boy who feels homosexual feelings towards other boys. The BFD indoctrinates young minds and many grow up thinking that in order to be gay you must be a fem and you must submit to anal penetration. Most never know that there is another way, the way of Frot and the way of the Warrior.

I see the feminization of boys all over our society. I believe it to be disempowering and I believe it to only add to sexual confusion that most young people experience for a time anyway. There are some elements in our society who seek to disempower males by feminizing them and that, in my opinion, is wrong. These elements teach them to be ashamed of themselves, ashamed of their natural masculinity, ashamed of their gender and aggression, and ashamed of their masculine male body hair. THAT does a number on young people and the result is some freakish neutral gender identification.

We ARE warriors living in an era that does not want warriors because warriors are seen as a threat to the movement to disempower masculine males at any age. Yet, I think all of us here understand that the warrior is a BIG part of us. We have always felt it since the day of our first memories. Warriorship is literally in our blood and psyche and it always has been. The world may be able to take the warrior out of the midst of the fellowship of warriors BUT the world will never be able to take the warrior out of the warrior!!

That's right.

Another way of putting that perhaps is to say that you can't take the warrior out of the man -- without doing the man great damage.

And that's what analism has done -- physically and psychically.

Andrew you ask is there any hope today. YES there is and WE ARE that HOPE! And we will spread that hope one by one! Since I first came to this group a few years ago it has grown this group is doing something RIGHT. I have watched, I have posted, I have emailed, and I have read all the postings herein. I have come to the conclusion that no MAN, no WARRIOR, comes here by accident! We have all been led here and more are being led here with each passing day. Why? Because there are a growing number of gay men who value their manhood and masculinity. They are sick and tired of the BFD and it's ruthless demands that they surrender who and what they are in order to "fit in and be gay."

We ARE the role models for young gay minds and for older gay men who are or have been mislead into believing that to be gay is NOT to be a man! Here they discover that to be gay IS to be a MAN! And they learn that by the personal example and postings herein.

Yes, and that's all true.

At the same time guys, you have to be realistic.

What we're doing at the moment is pissing in the ocean.

We're one website and two nascent regional chapters.

There are literally tens of thousands of analist sites, millions of analist jpegs, gifs, mpegs, etc.

Plus bars, bathhouses, sex clubs, ASOs, porn, mass media, and a host of other businesses and institutions which support analism.

All you need do is visit any big gay dating / "hook-up" site and read the seemingly limitless profiles of teens and young men identifying as bottoms to see the scope of the problem.

Yet if you guys would donate, we could reach thousands of men currently under the analist thumb, each and every day.

Those men who, as Robert says, "value their manhood and masculinity."

But the way things are now, we can barely keep the sites online.

So you're going to have to decide.

Joel, Mark, Bill G, and Luis have made as clear a case as can be made for supporting this work.

The culture will inevitably change.

But based on the rate at which you're donating, that change will take decades.

When we could do it in months.

Your failure to contribute when you know what's at stake makes you, in some ways, more culpable than the analists.

They after all believe in anal and promiscuity.

They think it's a good way to live.

You don't, and you know it's not.

Yet you do nothing.

That diminishes you.

Cockrub Warriors Rule.

Frot Men Rock.

As I keep telling you, being a man means taking responsibility for what happens in your community and your world.

Being a warrior means fighting for what you believe is right.

You do neither.

More's the pity.

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