Bill Weintraub

Re: ULTIMATE FRUSTRATION

9-28-2004

Thank you Charles.

I'm sure all here join with me in wishing you well in your battles against HIV and against AIDS Inc.

I queried Charles via email about some of the points he'd made in his letter.

Here are my questions and his answers:

Q. How old are you?

A. 34.

Q. Have you often experienced pressure and / or coercion to be penetrated anally?

A. YES, was raped as a kid, seemed my job.

Q. Do you think you know on which occasion you were infected?

A. Yes, name and all. Now he is a crack addict serving food.

Q. If so, on that occasion specifically, do you feel that you were pressured and / or coerced by your partner?

A. Had no choice. Was on Scotch, got flipped over and woke up sore the next day.

[This is a common date-rape scenario. Click here to understand more about analist date-rape.]

Q. You said that you attended a peer education program in which frottage was not even mentioned. What was the name of the program, and who ran it?

A.Philadelphia FIGHT

Q. You also said "the HIV Establishment here has counseled me to keep shut up as I am rocking the boat." Who said what, and what was said?

A. I spoke with Chairman Robert Reichard of the AIDS FUND of Philadelphia; and with Chairperson Jane Shull of Philadelphia FIGHT.

They said that "Though CDC data showed great increases in AIDS caseloads they should be ignored as without Secondary Prevention [condoms] things would be worse."

Same guys fund a Latino group that used the gay baths as "exploration for the clients"; many came out with ghonorrhea and time will tell the rest.

Bill Weintraub:

Thank you Charles.

Just to clarify.

Secondary Prevention or risk reduction vis-a-vis HIV is condoms.

Primary Prevention or risk avoidance vis-a-vis HIV is, for men who have sex with men, avoidance of anal penetration; and for everyone, partner reduction or Fidelity.

Heterosexuals also benefit from avoiding anal, since we know that anal penetration is a far more efficient vector than vaginal intercourse.

But gay and bi men can pretty much eliminate all risk of HIV by avoiding anal sex alone.

Of course if you're 100% monogamous with an uninfected partner you run no risk, no matter what you do; but if you're not absolutely faithful, and you're a man who has sex with men, the best advice is to avoid anal entirely, limit your partners, and to do oral only with someone you know very well and completely trust.

So: the safest solution, and the most masculine and mutually pleasurable, remains Fidelity and Frot.

And we explore that issue and option more fully in our most recent Man2Man Alliance policy paper, Why Be Faithful?.

Thank you again Charles.

And remember dudes,