Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work

Bill Weintraub

Bill Weintraub

Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work


There was some good news and bad news for the Reverend Ted Haggard yesterday.

On the one hand, he was declared, according to reports in the NY Times and on 365Gay dot com, "completely heterosexual" and "cured of his 'homosexuality.' "

That's good news, right?

Ted no longer has to bear the weight of what he previously referred to as a dark, repulsive, and immoral force.

At the same time, it kinda makes you wonder.

These guys -- guys like Haggard and Dobson and Barnes -- have spent many many years painting homosexuality as the most Satanic of Satan's works.

The baddest of the bad and the evilest of the evil.

So vile that a homosexual cannot gain entrance to the Kingdom of God.

No matter what Jesus may have said.

Which kind of begs the question:

If it's that bad and at the same time that almighty powerful, how was a greedy, grasping, covetous old sinner like Ted Haggard, hopped up on meth and his mouth full of a prostitute's jizz -- able to defeat it in so short a time?

I mean, you know, is that really the best our great and ancient Adversary can do -- three months?

Ted himself told us -- in November -- that this affliction was so horrendous that he'd been "warring against it for all of my adult life."

All his "adult" life.

No doubt his was a truly innocent childhood and, of course, spotless adolescence.

No embarrassing stains on his briefs -- that sort of thing.

Yet, somehow -- somehow -- having rolled in the filth time and again as an adult, he was able, this time around, to defeat his Devil-sent and Hell-spawned lusts in just three months.

Really, there's no accounting for it.

I guess we just have to conclude that Ted is so much more spiritually advanced than the rest of us that what would take most people a lifetime -- he can do in three months.


Ted Haggard -- a veritable Superman for Christ.

But you know, his church doesn't seem to be convinced.

And that's the bad news for Ted.

Because in a grand and true excess of CHRISTIAN feeling, they've told him to -- GET OUT OF TOWN.

This is from the NY Times report:

Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

"This is a good place [sic] for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.


Why would it be hard for Ted to heal in Colorado Springs?

Among his Christian brethren?

Among his devoted flock?


Seems to me that's the place he'd want to be.

Among all those supportive and blessed-by-agape fellow Christians.

And why can't he come back to the Church?

"It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work."

Sounds like they don't trust him.

Or maybe he just carries the taint of sin.

I don't really know, but you know -- Christ welcomed the repentant.

Why can't "New Life" do the same?

"He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

Somewhere is right.

What the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster -- and isn't that a fine old English name? -- what the Reverend Mike means is -- ANYWHERE BUT HERE.


GO AND SIN -- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -- SOMEWHERE ELSE.

You know, it's rare in life to come across a group as thoroughly repulsive as these exclusive evangelicals.

If even one of them has a saving, as it were, grace -- I have yet to see it.

They're hypocrites, charlatans, and frauds -- to a man and to a woman.

Case in point: Archbishop Akinola of Nigeria.

This is from the Times:

The way he tells the story, the first and only time Archbishop Peter J. Akinola knowingly shook a gay person’s hand, he sprang backward the moment he realized what he had done.

Archbishop Akinola, the conservative leader of Nigeria’s Anglican Church who has emerged at the center of a schism over homosexuality in the global Anglican Communion, re-enacted the scene from behind his desk Tuesday, shaking his head in wonder and horror.

"This man came up to me after a service, in New York I think, and said, ‘Oh, good to see you bishop, this is my partner of many years,’ " he recalled. "I said, ‘Oh!’ I jumped back."

There's a true vicar of Christ for you.

I guess we should be thankful that the man didn't have leprosy.

The Archbishop might have shot him.

I wonder why the Archbishop is so concerned about homosexuality.

Well, these next paragraphs in the Times story might just give us a clue:

Archbishop Akinola, a man whose international reputation has largely been built on his tough stance against homosexuality, has become the spiritual head of 21 conservative churches in the United States. They opted to leave the Episcopal Church over its decision to consecrate an openly gay bishop and allow churches to bless same-sex unions. Among the eight Virginia churches to announce they had joined the archbishop’s fold last week are The Falls Church and Truro Church, two large, historic and wealthy parishes.


The 62-year-old son of an illiterate widow, Archbishop Akinola now heads not only Nigeria -- the most populous province, or region, in the Anglican Communion, with at least 17 million members -- but also the organizations representing the leaders of Anglican provinces in Africa and the developing world. He has also become the most visible advocate for a literal interpretation of Scripture, challenging the traditional Anglican approach of embracing diverse theological viewpoints.

So, it would seem, that the Archbishop, by building on fear and loathing of homosexuality, has managed to construct a not-so-small churchly empire for himself.

I said, "fear and loathing."

How genuine is the Archbishop's own fear and loathing?

Not at all.

You'll notice that in describing the alleged homosexual-handshake incident, the Times' reporter, to his credit, said, "The way he tells the story,..."

And that's right.

The story of the good archbishop jumping back from the touch of a gay man's hand is NOT credible.

He may be the son of an illiterate widow -- and he may not -- but he's Nigerian.

And Nigeria is not some moral or intellectual backwater.

Yes, it has a colonial past and oil wealth today which is ill-used and ill-distributed.

But Nigeria is also an intellectual powerhouse, and has been for many years -- probably centuries.

And a man like Akinola does not get to be the Archbishop of Nigeria by leaving his brains under his pillow every morning.

He knows perfectly well that homosexuality isn't contagious.

Nor is sin.



And he knows there's nothing to fear from a shaking a man's hand.


And does not scruple to lie -- none of them do -- if he thinks it will advance his case.

Haggard's sin was not the sex -- Haggard's sin was that he got caught.

And now he's not merely an embarassment -- but a danger -- to the money-grubbing power-grabbing activities of the religious right.

So much so that he's been exiled.

Not just from Colorado Springs.

But from the spreading of the gospel of Christ -- which was after all, his life's work.

New Life and the other yahoos in Colorado Springs --which is the capitol of the religious right -- got rid of him because he threatens to come between them and their money.

Guys -- the press tends to think of people like Haggard and Akinola as "homophobes."

But the "phobe" in homophobe is short for "phobic" -- that is, irrationally fearful.

Yet there's nothing irrational about a Haggard's or an Akinola's or a Dobson's use of homosexuality.

Just as there was nothing irrational about Strom Thurmond's use of race.

Thurmond used race to get votes -- to stay in power -- even while having sexual relations with an African-American woman by whom he had a child.

Haggard used homosexuality to make money -- and gain power -- even while having sexual relations on a schedule -- once a month like clockwork -- with a male prostitute.

Not irrational.


And there's nothing good you can say about that.

I don't wish Ted Haggard well.

He's done a lot of damage and he continues to do damage.

He's an enemy of Masculinity, of Manhood, and of the True and Sacred Love of Man for Man.

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2007 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.

Bill G

Re: Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work


Well said Bill!!! A great post.

Having grown up and lived all my life in the South I have seen these parasites for as long as I remember. Spewing hate and fear all to get bigger congregations and hence bigger collections. Sadly it doesn't matter who the object of hate is, right now it's Homesexuallity, 60 years ago it was segregation, as long as these "creatures" have "someone" not something they can preach hate against, they can attract followers. I say someone because I've never really heard them preach against the mistreatment of anyone, never heard them rail against lying or stealing, or adultery.

But then they are not stupid, they know that preaching against something a lot of their "flock" does, will not add to the collection plate. Better to point out the differences in others and make them an object of fear and loathing.

Sadly we as humans never seem to pick up on that. Our history is filled with 1 cult following after another based on hatred. From Bosnia, Rwanda, the Nazis and back.

Bill G


Re: Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work


As if this Haggard story isn't bizzare enough, I heard something on NPR a couple of days ago that really chilled me. They were interviewing parishioners of Haggard's 14,000 member (!) church after Haggard's male prostitute visited the church. They were "warmly" welcoming to him because, as one parishioner said, "He pointed out a flaw in our pastor to us. And we drove the flaw out of our parish."

Think what this man is saying.

He is saying that the members of this church are perfect, as if to set them apart from everyone else on the planet. Is it me, or is this judgemental as well as wrong-headed?

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. Hmmmm.

In some places in this country, if you are white, blond, a Bible literalist and have the right clothes, the right number of children and a wife with red lipstick.....well, you are SAVED!

It must be nice to have life all figured out and to be among the chosen.


Bill G

Re: Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work



Your post is right on the mark. It always amazes me when I hear these so called "Christians" talk. The pridefulness, arrogence and air of superiority is astounding. But then I have to think, weren't those traits Lucifers sin?

Bill G


Re: Haggard defeats homosexuality in three months; told by church to get out of town -- and find another line of work


Bill G:

I find I have to be very careful to discern between "popular" Christianity and real, honest-to-God Christianity. And I have to believe that God is sick to see what has become of his Word when it comes to the evangelical sects.

I truly believe that Christianity is a personal dialogue between me and God. And the God that I know loves each one of us regardless of what Jerry Falwell says. (And would it not be a beautiful piece of irony if Jerry had a gay son?)

Save me from those who would tell us how to live.



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