loosecanon1

Kicked-out for dancing!

6-4-2006

My junior year of college I got kicked-out for dancing (at a conservative Christian school for which dancing was a major sin ("it's not dancing per se that is sinful; it's what it can LEAD TO...wink-wink")--alongside movies (with the exception of the "Christian" bathrobe-dramas like THE ROBE and GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD), playing cards, and drinking alcohol). Getting kicking-out was the best thing that ever happened to me because it opened up new worlds to explore!

The body-negative erotophobic family in which I had been reared had already left many scars of shame. My Mom tossed out a copy of Life magazine because it had a cover story on the Michelangelo paintings in the Sistine Chapel: "all them nekkid people." In 7th grade, when all the other kids were learning social dancing and folkdancing in physical education class, my parents sent a note to the school to have me excused from phys ed for the duration of the dance segment.

Not wanting to bore you with the whole story, I now am 67, married for the second time, parenting a 17 year old son and a 15 year old daughter, and making new discoveries nearly every day about the deep inner connection between the life of eros and deep spirituality. Since retirement I've become licensed as a massage therapist, taken multiple workshops with Body Electric out in California, and am struggling to find a way to expand the "wedding tent" of our marriage, which I highly value, to become spacious enough to be able to explore my sexual attraction to other men while, at the same time, honoring the comfort level of my wife as well as the deepest meaning of our vows.

This is all obviously challenging as well as exciting. One of my recurring temptations is to be resentful that so much of my life has been "spent" within the framework of a toxic religious and cultural worldview. But in my better moments I am grateful that it's never too late to learn to "dance"--even though the pool of potential dancing partners is severely limited. My latest exploration--other than this web site--is taking two classes at our community rec center: one in Middle Eastern dancing (i.e., belly-dancing: yes, I'm the only man in the class, and by far the oldest student!) and the other is Kuk Sool Won--a form of Korean martial arts. If they offered elementary wrestling, I'd be the first to sign up. even though they'd probably make us wear shorts...drat!

Embodied blessings to all you (new) brothers!