Randolph

Re: there is nothing more erotic than rubbing two cocks together

10-6-2007

Finding the site, into which you have put so much effort, has been a very moving experience for me. Even though I just turned 65, it seems like yesterday that I first experienced full-body cock rubbing. The memory is so palpable to me that it seems to me that even the smells and the quality of light that permeated that long-ago thrill of first love-making come flooding back into my awareness.

My parents moved to a small farming community on the outskirts of Tucson in 1946 when I was four. For the first year in Flowing Wells my only playmates were the chickens and my dog, then in the fall of 1947 some new neighbors appeared, put up a tent in the Alfalfa field across the road, and commenced to build a house. The males in the extended family were fathers Kenneth and Cecil, cousin Buddy, older brother LeRoy and Gary Lee who was my age. They were classic "Arkies" who cooked over an open fire and sang "hillbilly songs"; far more earthy than my college-educated parents.

Gary and I loved each other from the start. We built forts and played in the irrigation ditches. It was Gary who first introduced me to sex after we observed teen-aged cousins Buddy and LeRoy body-rubbing while soaping each other down in the wash house after a day of work. That evening we went out in the hay field, made a hollow in the high Alfalfa, and after lowering our pants laid on top of each other slowly moving our hips against each other. It was not only a beautiful spot with the blue blooms of the Alfalfa and the warm desert air, but a wonderful sensory experience. Both of us had the powerful sensation of dry ejaculation which we felt right down to our toes. By the time we were teen-agers we were experimenting with full body contact aided by lubricant. When we were sophomores Gary spent the summer in the Mid-West on the family farm. One fall evening after his return when we were out checking on the chicks in the brooder house he pulled out a bottle of Jergens Lotion and showed me what his cousin "Delbert had taught him in Kansas" that summer. This encounter standing face to face in the dark barn, culminated in a powerful ejaculation for me, my most powerful to that date. It made me weak in the knees and I could hardly catch my breath Gary Lee had reached full puberty earlier than I did and his big hairy crotch was a temptation which he flaunted whenever he got the chance. He knew I wanted him and played hard to get. I dreamed of grinding and humping against him and was always grateful when he agreed to do what he really wanted to do all along. I was blond and blue-eyed and was told by his mother that I was "pretty". Gary had beautiful big brown eyes and hair classic Scots-Irish. He was a head taller than I was at that time.

Effie, Gary's mother was a devout fundamentalist who spent a great deal of time traveling in the name of her religion Gary was left home alone for weeks on end, since his father died when he was 12. My mother was, with good reason, suspicious of me spending so much time with Gary and felt that he and his family were somewhat "uncouth". She tried to get me to cultivate other pals but the lure of Gary's sensuality kept me going back. I would cross the road to do "homework" with him and find Gary sprawled out in a reclining chair, his arousal evident through his Levis. One thing would lead to another and soon we were humping and clutching each other tightly. Although he had initiated our first sex games he seemed to want me to make the first moves. This went on until our senior year in high school. Most of our encounters happened in a stuffy room with his mother's Bible collection and her lithographs of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane looking down on us. I think we both felt extreme guilt but even this couldn't stop us. My family were devout Mormons, his Baptists. In high school we both dated girls and he always talked about wanting them during our sex play. I only wanted him but I Kept this to myself.

As we matured I our paths at school diverged. I was a part of the "in" crowd in our small country school. It seems that having educated parents gave me advantages in terms of social status and norms of behavior that he felt he was lacking. I persisted in including Gary in all activities in which I was involved but my peers often made him feel uncomfortable. Had we been able to openly talk about our love I think I could have saved him a great deal of pain. I tried to remain loyal but at that age one is often distracted by all that goes on in the teenage world. When we were alone we always fell back into our old patterns of closeness.

When, after 40 years, I met him for dinner last fall on a visit in Arizona, he brought up the subject of our "experimentation". I didn't pursue it then and may never do so. I came out at age 21. He stayed in the closet and led a rather un-eventful life. He married, divorced and lives alone with his dogs; no children. My own life has been full and diverse albeit full of struggle and disappointment as well. I have lived in New York, San Francisco, Europe (Finland and Germany) and have been able to travel. I spent a year in the Norwegian Merchant Marine traveling between Canada and Japan.

The year after leaving high school was spent at the University of Arizona where I was exposed to my first glimpses of the Gay underground as it existed then. (At that time mandatory nude swimming classes were required of all freshman men, cadets lined up for blow jobs at the glory holes in the ROTC building). Wanting to be a worthy Mormon I avoided "impure" thoughts and actions as much as I was able. I was sent to Finland as a Mormon missionary. Like so many boys from religious backgrounds I hoped that being faithful and keeping my knee bent in constant prayer would cure me of my love of men. It didn't.

If you wish I will furnish subsequent chapters of my growth as a self-accepting man who loves men. Since 1980 or so I have made my living as a carpenter and builder. My education was in Art and Art history. I speak Spanish, Finnish and basic German. After a time in institutional academia I realized how much I liked being my own boss and working outside and have done so ever since. My first lover is still living and although we have not lived together for 20 years, we are close friends. We practiced very satisfactory cock rubbing through all of our years together. I have been blessed with the love of some wonderful men in my time, and still have enduring love for them, although most of my closest friends have all been lost to AIDS starting in 1983. I guess my love of Frot saved my life.

I'm a little guy, 5'7" and weigh 155. I can still work hard and love to dance.

Randy

Robert Loring

Re: there is nothing more erotic than rubbing two cocks together

10-16-2007

Randy thank you for posting your story here. Very well done and very powerful I think. I'd like to hear more.

Robert

Stewart

Re: there is nothing more erotic than rubbing two cocks together

1-23-2008

It would be good to hear more from Randolph. His post was well written, if a bit sad regarding his first man love. We would enjoy more from Randolph.

Thanks to you both, Bill and Randolph

Stewart