Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


Bill Weintraub

Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


As part of their extensive World AIDS Day coverage, Lavender Magazine out of Minneapolis, Minnesota is running my op-ed Rethinking Gay Sex

That's the good news, and please take the time to click on the link so that the editor at Lavendar can see that there's reader interest in the article.

The bad news is that this op-ed, which is as mild and easy to digest as any we could possibly produce in the Frot Movement, is still by and large not acceptable to the mainstream gay male press.

It appeared in the Washington DC Blade, and their affiliate, The (Atlanta) Southern Voice.

But two of their other affiliates, the Houston Blade and the NYC Blade, declined to pick it up.

As did the other major gay paper in New York City.

Nor did papers in Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Richmond, Miami, New Orleans, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbus, Cinncinnatti, Dallas, Denver, Albuquerque, Tucson, Phoenix, Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Diego or LA.

That's why you need to donate.

Because we've been trying for three years to get the word out via the gay press and clearly that's not going to happen.

I've been doing research on some of the big gay sites like and I can tell you that there are a LOT of guys out there into frot.

But they're completely hidden from each other and they don't know we exist.

The easiest and most direct way to reach those men is through advertising.

If you will donate the money, I will develop and buy the ads -- and you'll be amazed at the way your life will change.

Do nothing however -- and nothing will change.

I've done as much as I can do with the gay press.

I've also reached out to people in the Bush administration and on the religious right -- but it's not realistic to expect them to help us.

And they don't have to help us.

We have the numbers.

We can do it without anyone's help -- all by ourselves.

Your liberation is in your own hands -- as it always has been.

So -- fight back -- save your life.

Guys, this isn't about me.

I've had two great cockrub romances in my life -- certainly one more than I was entitled to.


Because I'm handsome?

Built like a greek god?



No -- none of the above.

I've had those men in my life because I fought for what I believe.

You need to find the strength to do the same.

And right now -- that means donating.

Remember dudes

Mart Finn

Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


Well done for the op ed and the post. I think it is very cogent in outlining what the realities of achieving further progress are. I hope warriors take note.

I hope you know, in these very hard times, that the work you've been doing with the press and others is invaluable. Although protagonists in new thinking often have to make crushing sacrifices to start new discourse, the conceptual seeding they acomplish as they battle away ... will have consequences. I hope your post helps warriors understand how much more you can do and that our group should create a more enabling platform to support your outreach and awareness endeavours.

I have said since I discovered your site ... it is a clarion call to men. Now some men have shown up ... we need to do more than stand and stare ... observe. Men here can make a difference and share the excitement of being given an opportunity to tangibly impact on an issue important to their lives ... souls.

Warriors - leave your donor fatigue baggage elsewhere ... it is time for some action ... donations!

I know from my own life ... sometimes timing is off ... and it may not be possible for some warriors to support the Alliance right now. For others ... if you can donate DO!

Mart Finn

Bill Weintraub

Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux



Some analists in Minneapolis have complained bitterly to the editor of Lavender Magazine and demanded that he either take the article down or print a retraction.

So you need to write to Lavender and support that op-ed.

Otherwise, it will go away and they won't run more of them.

In order to write Lavender you need to go to this URL and fill in the form.

Please do it -- just a brief note saying you're into frot and you liked the op-ed.

Remember dudes



Don F

Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


Even before reading the above, I fired off a complimentary Email to the editors for publishing an article on m2m frot.

Nothing lengthy or preachy, just letting 'em know I prefer to have sex with a buddy's MALE anatomy mated to mine and was never into butts at all.

I think in these replies, just being anti-anal is not enough----we need to emphasize the sensory feedback loop achieved through anatomical coupling, stimulating each other's genitals naturally so both buddies feel the same sensations at the same time. THAT is sexual intimacy.

And, it's an intimacy that leads guys to full and complete UNION, without BARRIERS between them so the natural male flow from their bodies is free and openly shared, unabridged by rubbers or any artificial containment.

It is a confirmation of masculinity.

No wonder the pussy-boys who think their butts are "love tunnels" get upset, because like women, they believe penetration is an absolute.

I doubt if my letter will get posted, but at least they got a strong message from a frot dude to back up Bill's article.

WRITE 'EM Tell the editor why Frot is Hot !

Don F


Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


This is what I sent:


Lavender Magazine --

I wanted to thank you for recently publishing the article "Rethinking Gay Sex" by Bill Weintraub. I enjoyed reading it, and what he says is on target -- anal sex can hurt terribly, it spreads lethal disease, and it's historically a weird, degrading act.

I don't know what else to say besides the fact that I'm one of a growing number of gay men who are figuring this out, and want to escape the anal-centric world view of gays today. There is so much more to life -- and sex -- than declaring yourself a "top" or "bottom". Those terms are utilized to avoid intimacy.

Thank you again --

-- Spike


Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


What an insightful article! Gay men around the world should be proud that there is someone brave enough to continue to stand up for his beliefs and aiding in the fight against AIDS! Unfortunately..... it seems some gay men only have one thing on their minds; "self-gratification". It makes no difference to these if there is a mutual experience of sexual satisfaction, just as long as they themselves are reach their personal goal of being satisfiied sexually. And then move on to the next guy who will allow themselves to be used for the same purpose.

As I wrote in a reply to Lavender Magazine: "If only gay men would give frottage a chance ... experience it; they would see that this is a most sensual, intense way to make love to a man"; where both can achieve a high AND pleasurable sexual gratification without worrying about the HIV factor and whether the "condom will break" or not.

Keep up the fight, Bill; lift your standard high so we can see it as you lead the way!

Your friend and buddy,




Re: Rethinking Gay Sex Redux


Hey, all, I just submitted this letter to Lavender:

Thank you for running Bill Weintraub's article "Rethinking Gay Sex." I'm a frot man myself; anal sex is not pleasurable for me, either as a top or bottom. For me, frot is incredibly pleasurable and fulfilling. I live for the full body contact and intimacy that it provides and which, for me, anal sex just doesn't. I've found that many men who do engage in anal sex feel this way, yet the gay press usually prefers to pretend that we don't exist or are somehow not sufficiently gay. I'm openly gay as an English teacher to my inner-city Philadelphia public high school students, which I imagine is something very few people would have the nerve to do. Also, this December 7 will be the first anniversary of the death of my beloved partner Stephen. He believed that only anal sex counted as true sex, and I can't help but think that's part of what killed him. He was a very sweet, trusting man who wanted acceptance in the gay world, and he couldn't get that acceptance without participating in a lot of anal sex. I'm not being anti-sex by bringing up these issues. I really love sex, but our community has to accept that our actions have consequences. If we refuse to accept responsibility for anything because there are many homophobes out there, then we're doing the anti-gay forces' work for them.



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