Bill Weintraub

Re: Jocks, Socks, and Masculine Uniform Frots

12-23-2003

i thank Tank for this terrific post, and also for being a great guy -- as i will explain

but i want to say first off, that in terms of "first who cums loses," that if there's a contest in Frot, it's always a contest between equals, between men who are secure in and celebrating their masculinity, and that in such a contest between such men, there are never losers -- just winners

that's the point to frot -- no doms or subs, no tops or bottoms, just two guys doing what comes naturally

in what is an innate expression of their masculinity

or as Tank put it in an email to me "man2man eroticism in its most masculine and pure form"

now i want to say something about Tank, because he's a really great guy

donations for December have been very low -- pretty common among donor-supported organizations in December, when most people are spending money on the holidays -- but nevertheless a big problem for this site

and when Tank submitted his post for approval, i had posted and sent out appeals for donations, and gotten virtually no response

and that won't work

at the very least, we need sufficient donations each month to pay for the sites -- $200

but we need far more than that if we're going to accomplish our mission

so when Tank submitted this post, i refused to approve it, and i wrote him a fairly harsh letter, saying to him that although it was an excellent post, it was pointless to put it up just as an exercise in complaining about and lamenting one's loneliness

because, although again, it's an excellent post and i love it, we have many posts like it

what we don't have is the means to reach other guys so that they can see it

and unless other guys see it, it's not serving much purpose

because the goal of this site is to change the culture of men who have sex with men, to lead those men away from anal promiscuity and to Frot Fidelity

so that men who love men can lead decent, masculine, sexually fulfilled lives

and the only people who can help us achieve that goal -- are you -- the men who visit this site and are reading this post

for three years i've tried to work though the gay male media establishment -- and it's been impossible

guys, "Rethinking Gay Sex" is as mild a pro-Frot piece that anyone anywhere is ever going to write

and it ran in exactly four cities: DC, Atlanta, SF, and Minneapolis

that's pathetically and woefully insufficient

and it's due entirely to analist opposition

similarly, i've tried to work with the religious right -- simply because we share certain criticisms of gay male culture

but the religious right is impossible also -- to them, all homosex is equally bad -- on this topic, they are not capable of making the most elementary distinctions between and among behaviors

for them it's abstinence or nothing

that means that ONLY WE can get our message out -- no one else will do it for us

yet we can do it

if, for example, 1000 of you -- less than 1% of our monthly visitors -- contributed $5 per month, we'd have the money we need for advertising that would reach the literally millions of men who are more than ready for our message

i explained that to Tank -- not nicely -- but plainly

and Tank did the right thing

he didn't throw a hissy fit

instead he sent $40 -- and you can read part of what he said when he did here

Tank's a warrior -- he's clear about what he wants and what he himself must do to achieve it

too many of you aren't

for one thing, far too many of you still have one foot in the analist camp

i hear it in your posts and in your emails:

"i fucked this guy"

"i bottomed for this guy"

"cause he wanted me to"

that will never work -- not ever

others tell me that they're "members" of analist porn sites

they actually pay heavy monthly fees to see artfully photographed scenes of "men" being buttfucked -- while their own sexual choices are implicitly and explicitly denigrated

unreal

well, like i say, Tank's a true warrior, and he now has a friend in me and i will help him in any way i can

as i would any other true warrior

because

the rest of you have to decide if you want to be alone all your life -- or if you're willing to take the chance that by spending a little money -- and reaching out to other men -- you can live your dream

Spike

Re: Jocks, Socks and Masculine Uniform Frots

12-23-2003

Right on Tank. I'm totally with you on this one.

I used to punish myself after jerking off using my hands, too. I thought of it as "artificial" and unbecoming, but of course I was in my teens and it was impossible to stop.

I knew I was attracted to guys for a long time, before I admitted it to myself. I would check out other guys in class, digging on whatever muscles they had exposed (wearing shorts and muscle T-shirts) and then compare myself in the mirror later. I made up some excuse to explain why I did this (I assumed I was straight), I don't remember what the rationalization was but I was definitely afraid of being thought queer, because that would have associated me with all sorts of undesirable qualities.

I wasn't into sports much as a kid, though I was decently athletic and I did well on the swim team. Being surrounded by the other guys in Speedos was definitely hormonal overload for me!

It took a while before I learned how to love men. I was kind of a punk in high school, and college. So naturally we hated the jocks, and all their abhorrent behavior. Now I realize that a lot of those jock guys had tapped into a good thing, but they were ruining it, like they were made the guardians of the sacred vein of masculinity, and were consciously defouling it. Probably because they were afraid of bonding too close to one another, for fear of people calling them "faggots". Being drunk, bigoted and stupid was their defensive mechanism.

The truth is that masculinity is the best thing in the world. Whenever I wrestle another guy, or we put our arms around each other after a hard round of sparring, it feels like some spiritual mission has been fulfilled -- in those moments I always feel so complete, like I'm accepted in a brotherhood of kings. It's like the trust you've just built together will let you conquer the world. it's incredible.

It's taken me a long time to find people who are into this, and mature enough to know they've got a good thing going and not pollute it. I dated girls as well, and it was always unsatisfying. At that age I didn't understand why so many guys treated their girls like garbage, or second-class citizens -- probably because they wanted the male bond to stay stronger.

Personally I don't have military fantasies (I don't like being ordered around, I'm more of a ronin!) But after being in bar brawls and fights at shows, I will say that being part of a fighting force is pretty fucking cool. I'm wearing BDU's and a standard brown military T-shirt and wifebeater as I type this; when you dress like a combatant, you start to think like one. Then you start to feel like one.

The longest I went without orgasm was a month ... This wasn't for boxing, although you know that fighters abstain from sex before a fight (sometimes for weeks), and I did some of that. Saving up all that testosterone does make you crazy. It makes you mean, when you bring that energy into the ring. I always felt like I had poisonous vapor trails spiraling out of my pores, my eyes, my hair; like the air around me was charged with lightning.

Then when you finally get your release and get to screw, it's this tremendous rush, especially when you take breaks (like you said) and let your rods cool off on the way to the climax -- you surge with masculine power and sweat, you become this male animal, and it feels so fucking cool. Getting off once when you're that horny is great, because it takes just a minute before you're hard again and you can screw each other senseless and blow even more loads.

Then pass out holding each other ... wake up later ... do it again, heh heh heehhh

I've had some fantasies about guys and their girlfriends too. I think it'd be cool to get a lesson from some guy on how to fuck a girl, after you've both rolled around on the bed together to get hot and sweaty and ready.

Sometimes I doubt I'll ever meet someone locally who's on the same level as me. But then I read posts like yours and I think, damn, maybe there are enough guys out there who feel the same way, maybe this can and will happen if I just stay aware. It's easy to despair and think the situation is hopeless, it's harder to remember that some guys have connected and pulled this off, and that you can too. Thanks for the post, Tank, you got my mind buzzing when I read it, and now my hands are shaking from the rush since I wrote this. Drop me a line if you want to compare notes

Also (coming from the perspective of a web guy) if you're reading this and you've ever been aroused by the content on this site, I want to encourage you to donate some money to Mister Weintraub. Web sites take a lot of time and cash to keep running... Give a little something to the site that's already given to you, thanks