Just

anal unsatisfying...

12-26-2002

Hi there

I tried anal sex for the first time recently (as the insertive partner)...guess i bought into the whole "well I'm gay so i should give this a try, see what it's like"...mixture of curiosity, experimentation and internalised peer pressure/expectations

Even though I was really horny, the whole process was such a "chore" and such a turnoff, condoms, lube, the whole deal...felt like I was preparing for some medical operation!! Very little sensitivity or sensation at all.

I remember thinking at the time "hmmm this feels like a very poor substitiute for vaginal sex or fucking a woman...but I don't want to be with a woman...I want to be with a MAN!! for crissakes!"

The only times I feel like I am fucking, bonding with, and loving a man, are when I am having face2face sex i.e. "frot." (maybe a bit of oral thrown in - but not de rigeur or EXPECTED - just if it feels right, and as an expression of love).

I have formed a clear view, that this is the only type of sex I want in the future - and hopefully I won't have to settle for just "sex" - hey there might even be some genuine feelings involved!!

I would rather experience meaningful friendships/comradeship/love with men, than endless amounts of meaningless, anonymous, and potentially dangerous sex!! How long can guys keep kidding themselves that what they really want and need is the latter...not the former??

Thank god for this discussion board for allowing me to share my views!!

Bill Weintraub

Re: anal unsatisfying...

thank you dude

"how long can guys keep kidding themselves?"

it's a good question

recently two younger guys posted on this board, both heartily endorsing the masculinist aspect of the site while still hanging on to their anal sex

and i really wondered, who are they kidding?

you can't be penetrated and remain masculine -- to think otherwise is to kid yourself

and the level of denial about the dangers of anal among these men is obscene

patrick: the top elevates his own self-esteem by trodding on that of the bottom; the question is why does the top need his self-esteem boosted at anyone's expense -- if he believed in himself and his values he wouldn't do that

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