The question is wrong



The question is wrong


I have found the whole "top/bottom" thing to be a constant irritation. I guess because I didn't fit into it, & couldn't believe that I was the only one who didn't. I also knew this for a fact, from experience I guess. (Can one be a cockrub warrior without knowing it ?) Yet the question seems to be perpetual & ubiquitous. In so many places & venues, as well as imbedded deeply in many men's minds, "top", or "bottom", is almost exclusively how gay sex is conceived of, with a small out of the way corner for the "versatiles".

Nevertheless, I've always found the question itself to be wrong.

If these are the Tops, & these are the Bottoms, & over there are the Versatiles, Where is everyone else ?

The question is wrong. Thanks for the site.


Re: The question is wrong


Right on. You're not the only one who finds the whole top/bottom thing totally irritating and useless. What happened to passion, or companionship, or just doing what feels natural, or having sex with somebody because you want to embrace them totally and not have to play out some role?

I think people who act out roles in the bedroom are scared of themselves, scared of who they truly are, and have poor self-esteem. Yeah, that's a pretty general statement, but I'm sticking to it. I've never cared for top/bottom distinctions, it's just another way for homos to denegrate themselves and enforce their stupid, made-up culture.

I haven't posted before, but I've been avidly reading this site since it was linked on So much of what's said here resonates strongly in me. Actually the warrior connection was something I hadn't thought about in that way, but it makes perfect sense. The warrior spirit burns strong in me, and this site helped me realize that and make that distinction (more on that some other time)

I'm just getting sick of guys who, a few minutes after you've been messing around in bed, bend right over and expect you to stick it in and take over. I suppose the ones who want to manipulate you into bending over and getting fucked are even worse. The whole vibe of top/bottom is antiquated, oppressive, and just makes me sick, more than any other aspect of popular gay culture.

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