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Brothers in arms




Bill Weintraub

Bill Weintraub

Brothers in arms

9-24-2006

This is a third email from Frances, who posted in the thread titled A Woman's Viewpoint: Guys doing Frot is extremely erotic to me.

As with her first two emails, her thoughts on our issues are very perceptive.

Frances' email:

Does the acceptance of homosexuality decrease in a society where men are not expected to be warriors? Modern Times vs. Most of Man's History?

I was just thinking about how unnatural it would almost seem for men to be brothers in arms, fighting for each other, celebrating each other's bodily strengths as what their very lives depended on, and how in celebrating each others bodies, minds (tactical, strategic intelligence) and souls (bravery, loyalty), it would be very odd for them to ignore each other's phalluses, or the very organ that identifies men as men.

Why would they not want to pleasure each other and celebrate and pay homage to each other's "manhood". Hell, when I've watched football (not a big fan) the men seem even more desirous of touching each other moments after the faux combat has taken place (the celebratory bumping of their teammates chest, the often noted, almost reflexive touching of each other's asses). And, lots of other men watch and seemingly can't get enough of these scenes.

Men seem more afraid of touching each other in modern society. The natural, soulful experience of sexual touch becomes something shameful and perverted just as is physical aggression.

I like thinking about a new world where people are more free than in this one. And, I think what you're doing is very important in helping men to realize who they really are--to get real with themselves.

But, I realize that your site is a refuge for men who want to immerse themselves in a world of homoeroticsm, and many of whom are probably forging a new, positive perception of themselves as men who need other men physically and emotionally, and that a lot of women jumping into the fray maybe sort of violates their space that they need for themselves. So, mindful of that, I'm hesitant to post on your site where men are probably literally trying to save their souls, and not just have a tea party for the brain with "what if's?" and such.


Bill Weintraub:

Thank you Frances.

Does the acceptance of homosexuality decrease in a society where men are not expected to be warriors? Modern Times vs. Most of Man's History?

Basically, yes.

We talk about that in THE POWER OF THE MASCULINE, where we introduce the key concepts of heterosexualization and natural masculinity;

and in the Heroes section of our sites, where we look at the mythological, cross-cultural, and historical evidence from cultures as disparate as the Sumerian, Greek, and Celtic -- to name just three.

I was just thinking about how unnatural it would almost seem for men to be brothers in arms, fighting for each other, celebrating each other's bodily strengths as what their very lives depended on, and how in celebrating each other's bodies, minds (tactical, strategic intelligence) and souls (bravery, loyalty), it would be very odd for them to ignore each other's phalluses, or the very organ that identifies men as men.

Right.

Even in our society, men do not ignore each other's phalluses.

Or their flacid penises or their testicles.

Men are super-conscious of other men's genitalia.

And given the opportunity, they will seek to mutually exalt each other's manhood through phallic bonding.

That's a natural male behavior which our society works to suppress.

So you're absolutely right that it's "unnatural" for men not to do it.

Why would they not want to pleasure each other and celebrate and pay homage to each other's "manhood".

They do want to do that.

Hell, when I've watched football (not a big fan) the men seem even more desirous of touching each other moments after the faux combat has taken place (the celebratory bumping of their teammates chest, the often noted, almost reflexive touching of each other's asses). And, lots of other men watch and seemingly can't get enough of these scenes.

That's right.

What the men are getting off on is the aggression.

They want to either hit other guys or watch guys hitting other guys.

The aggression gives them a sexual / testosterone charge.

Which is why male aggression leads to male bonding.

Very basic.

We have a post, The Fallacy of the Feminine, which touches on that aspect of football.

The post quotes from the NY Times' gender-gap series, which describes how some colleges, in order to fight declining male enrollment, have started football programs, which are very popular with men.

The Times:

Sometimes, the allure is more primal.

"Heck, guys who play football just like to hit somebody, and the guys not playing like to watch the guys who are hitting each other," said Trey Kern, who was raised in Winchester near Shenandoah and who transferred from another Virginia college to play for the new team in 2000. "It's America's game. And, who doesn't like tailgating before the game?"

[emphasis mine]

Trey is absolutely right.

Male aggression is core to male bonding.

You can't separate the two.

And notice that he mentions tailgating.

Of course tailgating may be mixed gender.

But it's part of the process.

The guys go to / play in the game, the guys bond.

Frances:

Men seem more afraid of touching each other in modern society. The natural, soulful experience of sexual touch becomes something shameful and perverted just as is physical aggression.

Yes, that's right.

Redd has talked about that a great deal.

So does Joe in The Power of the Masculine.

As does Naked Wrestler in many posts, including MAN-PHOBIA: Fired for being into UFC.

I like thinking about a new world where people are more free than in this one. And, I think what you're doing is very important in helping men to realize who they really are--to get real with themselves.

But, I realize that your site is a refuge for men who want to immerse themselves in a world of homoeroticsm, and many of whom are probably forging a new, positive perception of themselves as men who need other men physically and emotionally, and that a lot of women jumping into the fray maybe sort of violates their space that they need for themselves. So, mindful of that, I'm hesitant to post on your site where men are probably literally trying to save their souls, and not just have a tea party for the brain with "what if's?" and such.

Frances, you're welcome to post.

It's not a question of gender.

We look for posts which are appropriate to the site -- "on topic" -- and which advance our understanding of our issues.

Your posts do exactly that.

They're very valuable additions to the site and to our work.

The issue you brought up in your second email about "doubledicking" probably makes some of our guys uncomfortable not because you're a woman but because they're strict Fidelity people.

And they don't support any form of sex outside the dyad.

But we do need to reproduce.

So it's a legitimate discussion.

Thank you Frances.

I hope you'll keep writing.

Your thoughts are terrific!

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.


Tom

Re: Brothers in arms

9-25-2006

Frances, I love your writing. Feel free to keep on posting.


Redd

Re: Brothers in arms

9-26-2006

Yes, welcome Frances.

Redd


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