Bill Weintraub

Re: The Paradigm of Penetration

9-28-2002

thank you brother warrior Shak

i shared this post with warriordb, who responded as follows:

Thanks for sharing that with me. Something I had not thought about before. I will say however, that there is a difference between a paradigm based on "biological mating" and one imposed by "cultural domination." The vagina is designed for penetration and birth. Is the anus? While he calls for us all to broaden our considerations for how we define sex, there is a difference between the damage that gay (homosexual) men face as a result of the paradigm and that faced by him as a heterosexual man.

That is not to play the "my pain is worse than your pain game", I wouldn't want to do that. Just pointing out a difference.

now i understand what warriordb is saying, and i agree that it's crucial we recognize that the anus is not a vagina, that it's not designed for penetration or for pleasure, and that for those reasons the paradigm of anal penetration is particularly damaging to gay men

but i also understand what Shak is saying -- that the "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" model of sex deprives both men and women of the sensual pleasures of prolonged sexual contact, and that enforcing a paradigm of penetration among str8 guys and their female partners is oppressive also

and we know that Shak's right about that paradigm because a number of studies have found that the average sexual experience for the average man lasts only three minutes -- that is, from arousal to penetration to orgasm occupies just 180 seconds of the guy's time

and then it's back to more important things

interestingly, Warrior Pete, who posted About Dickfighting, and who is bi-sexual, says that to him, people are people, and sex is about pleasure, and so, while he's a fully functioning heterosexual man who has children, he does a lot of genital rubbing and touching with both male and female partners, and says that his partners really appreciate his pleasure-motivated approach to sex

and of course Tari Akpodiete, a lesbian, has a Warriors Speak on our site about the oppressiveness of sexual orthodoxies in her community

so these paradigms or cultural models are damaging whether among gay men, str8 guys, or women, and they must be challenged

COCKRUB WARRIORS RULE

Medo

Re: The Paradigm of Penetration

9-28-2002

bill's note:

not long after receiving Shak's letter, i got the following email from a man in Egypt which i'm posting, with his permission, below

you'll see that his thoughts are close to Shak's

Hi Bill,

How do you do?

I am a young straight male physician from Egypt. It was a very nice surprise when I found your site and articles on the internet, as I have always thought about those who prefer anal sex and how can they do it and enjoy it either with males or females ?!!!!

I think sex is an art not just an act and so the ones who do it must enjoy it both mentally and physically . God has made almost all the details of our body in the front not in the back like the eyes, mouth, nipples, umbilicus, genitalia ...

So when doing sexual acts it MUST be done FACE TO FACE either in heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

Sometimes just a fine touch on the chest or a tender look in the eyes or a warm rub between the abdomens may cause much much more sexual satisfation than a dirty anal contact.

Also God has made the genitalia for the reproduction and sexual satisfaction while the anus is for waste and excretion only.

I do congratulate you for your high standard of thinking and hope to be in contact with you or your friends who have the same concepts either homosexual or heterosexual .

yours

Medo

Egypt, 24/9/2002

mamadoc

Re: The Paradigm of Penetration

8-7-2003

"Also God has made the genitalia for the reproduction and sexual satisfaction while the anus is for waste and excretion only."

I stumbled upon this site while looking for the meaning of the word frot, which, surprise to me, I had never come across before. I am a straight woman and find male on male sex very exciting. I recall being surprised years ago when I found out from my gay male friends that many gay male couples do not engage in anal intercourse. Then I did a big "duh?" (smacks self in head) and wondered how I could be so stupid to think that male/male couples would be any different than male/female couples. The desireability of any physical act is personal - person being a genderless word.

I have read quite a few posts here, and this is a very informative and important site. I'm glad I found it, as I am always happy to be educated, and I also enjoy seeing stereotypes smashed.

Recently I had been thinking about men and women, gay and straight, on a linear continuum, with infinite points between the two ends of male and female, in regard to the physical and emotional differences that clearly are altered by our DNA and hormonal influences. I am realizing, after being to this site, that my model is too limiting, too simplified, and does not leave enough variation possible. It has to be a sphere to allow all the dimensions of physical, emotional, inherited and external influences to be included.

The bottom line, and this goes back to the refreshing nature of this site, is that the lines of gender are finally being acknowledged as breaking down, to blur, and blend. To define people as gay or straight, or even bisexual is so limiting and denies us of our true, individual sexuality. How wonderful if we could just react in the world as sexual beings - not men and women, gay or straight - and stop denying physical attractions to individuals, because that individual is not of the "group" we are supposed to be attracted to.

Thanks for an interesting site!

Salacious

3-15-2003

Bisexual Clitrub Warrior

This is probably gonna be a little long.....

Dearest my newest Hero Bill:

Like many of your site's visitors, I found Heroic purely by accident. All I was really looking for was pix of Black men kissing (something I don't think I've ever seen enough of) and typed that phrase into asearch engine. Little did I know I'd get something so much better ... black men rubbing dicks!! Oh ... my ... God!!!! Discovering your site was a very important step in my journey toward self-accpetance.

Mr. Weintraub, I need to let you know, upfront, that you've done more to validate my sexuality than many of the books I've read. You see, my realization of my attraction to men didn't do anything to negate my ongoing, lifelong attraction to women. Many gay men seem to think that bisexual men should apologize for their attraction to women. Human sexuality is FLUID!! You, the Sensei Patrick (he's been another inspiration! You're so lucky!), and others have made me realize that the fluididity of my sexuality isn't something I need to explain or apologize for. It doesn't make me a freak or abnormal; it doesn't make me disgusting, or deviant. Like 1+1=2, it's just a fact...it just IS. As a gay man yourself(that is, primarily attracted to men), you actually STICK UP for your bisexual brothers by noting that labels really don't mean shit in the grand scheme of things, and that is a such rare thing. YOU are a rare man. And for that I am eternally grateful. Bill, I really can't thank you enough! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

I knew, at the age of FIVE that I was bisexual, when music videos by Bruce Springsteen (specifically "Dancing in the Dark" which featured 2 yummy close-ups of his crotch) and Madonna (her stage-humping performance of "Like a Virgin" at the Video Music Awards--not to mention her pansexual "Erotica" video--and 'Sex' book--nearly a decade later. And that's kinda quirky...many men who like Madonna would pass on the chance to sleep with her....not me!!) both aroused equal desire within me. And you, Bill Weintraub, actually ACCEPT that men can be attracted to both sexes. Oh...my...God.........I'm not a freak!! I'm not a deviant! I'm not abnormal! And you....you actually accept it the way it is. No greater gift has been bestowed upon me.

In truth, I've had very limited sexual experiences with the same sex. There were the childhood experimentations--the kissing, petting, and rubbing fully-clothed--and the primarily shock-value make-out sessions with a guy I knew in high school(done to piss off a few known homophobes who weren't even invited to the parties we were attending), but I've not yet had the full-on frottage experience. And, after VERY frequent trips to your site, Bill, it's something I'm eager to try.

What I have done, is I guess you could call, a heterosexual couterpart to a Cockrub Warrior. During a lovemaking session with my last girlfriend, my dick slipped out accidentally, and rubbed up against her clitoris. This, of course, brought her a tidal-wave of pleasurable sensation, and it did the same for me as well. I rubbed and rubbed for a little while before finally re-entering her lava-hot moistness. After getting a rhthym going, I'd stop, pull out, and rub against her clit some more. This brought her multiple, convulse-inducing orgasms, and stimulated me as well. It was a recurring sexual motif. This took place well before I stumbled onto your site. What does that make me? A Clitrub Warrior? I don't know.

But I definately want you to know, Mr. Bill Weintraub, is that I no longer feel the need to apologize for who I am. I think the HUMAN body, the HUMAN mind, the HUMAN spirit are fucking beautiful things to me. It's been that way all my life, and likely to remain for the duration. I find it amazing--AMAZING!!-- that you don't frown upon, or try to treat your bisexual brothers as repulsive individuals. You accept it, embrace it, and acknowledge it in a way many gay men (and straight women) just don't. If your were in front of me right now, I'd (and if I ever meet you in person, I will--I swear to God--do this) give you a big hug and kiss for your acceptance of male bisexuality. You accept it!!! If only you knew how you've allowed me to confront and accept the truth about myself. I suspect you've done this for many men before me, and will do so for many men after me. You're changing lives left, right, center, below and above. You're a true revolutionary.

I want a frot buddy; I really do. I don't know how to go about finding one. There is a guy in a class that I take that I am attracted to...he is beautiful outwardly, and in more sublte ways. And since he always wants me to sit next to him, I wonder if he feels that same way about me. But he's got a girlfriend, and I, like you, am a firm believer in monogamy. I ain't about to distract, or steal anyone's thunder. Who knows how or when, or with whom my frot experience will come to fruition. Any ideas?

Oh yeah, I wanted to ask about the accompanying graphic to your erotic story 'Antagony'. Where did you get it? Anyway to release a video of it? Or some other kind of frot vid? Judging by the success of your site, there is obviously a market for non-anal, frot-centered erotic videos. I stopped renting gay porn all together because of the dominance of anal sex (who really needs a 6 minute close up of it?). But I'll rent, or buy (bi?) in a heartbeat, without even thinking twice, an erotic video (especially a bisexual one) in which frottage is the main form of sexual experession between men, and penetration is reserved for interatction with women. I don't know how it's going to happen, but I'd like to obtain such a video.

In closing, I'd like to thank you again for your site. I don't think you have any idea how much it's meant to me. Actually, I bet you do....that's why the site exists in the first place, right? There's no harm in thanking you again. Thank you, Warrior Bill.

Sincerely,

Salacious.