John

pure, masculine, egalitarian

8-17-09

First email:

Last night, after my date, my friends found out about my threesome. (Note: I only recommend threesomes if you really really really really really know everyone involved.) Anyway, as I was saying, my roommates asked me some retarded questions:

"I thought you were straight!" Yes, my primary sexual attraction is women, but you know what? I really liked tacos growing up. Doesn't mean I couldn't eat a burger. In fact, I'm still seeing a woman.

"Who's the woman?" Okay, there are two men and one woman. If you mean "Who tops and who bottoms?" then you're just being silly.

"What do you do?" Lots of stuff, not all of it sexual.

I suppose I should be glad that they're generally supportive, and most of my generation understands bisexuality. But going through a long Q&A reminded me of how analism has even penetrated (no pun intended) the hetero world.

Also by Warrior John:

• straight, but...

• love in our language

John

pure, masculine, egalitarian

8-17-09

Second email:

[My straight-identified roommates] seem to get it now; it only took five hours to explain that there are MANY ways to make love. I was about to just show them the site. But they got it, so no gay porn for them. We now joke about it, but they don't call me a fairy or anything. They just assume it's a weird Indian thing. (More like an anywhere on the planet before Kertbeny came up with "Homosexualität" thing!)

My family's the easy part: No sexual explanation required.

It's funny, the only difference between me and my roommates, besides the fact that I don't know how they feel about anal, is that I act on my m2m fantasies. They don't. And that's cool. I only did because my girlfriend encouraged me. But now we joke about it: They'll pop in a porn and say "You won't like this." And I'll make a joke about how I'll just watch them. I still don't watch porn. My vision of doubledicking is pure, masculine, and egalitarian. It says "Have some fun with me and my friend here." The porn version has shaved pubes, and DV [double vaginal] is the least common.

My other fantasies are similarly parodied by heterosexual porn. And my newfound all-male fantasies are just a prelude to anal in gay porn. So I have my memories and fantasies.

Re: Analism, the more I read about it, the more I'm convinced heterosexual analists are as common as gay ones. I remember the white girls with "preferences" in high school. They'd show me to their racist dads, try to sleep with me on the first date, and either give me an emotionally unsatisfying orgasm or get freaked out at my foreskin. They'd tell their friends about my size. And other stuff that made me feel like a piece of meat. In turn, I know from my roommates' pornos that analism affects straight guys too. Try to find a title with a minority star who isn't in some sort of stereotype. Try finding a straight porn that isn't about kink or anal to some extent. I think their collection has one. And if course, lesbians and bi girls are all trying to impress guys. *cleans up dripping sarcasm off floor*

Reply from

Bill Weintraub

Re: pure, masculine, egalitarian

8-18-09

Hey John

[My straight-identified roommates] seem to get it now; it only took five hours to explain that there are MANY ways to make love.

Okay.

In my view -- and you might as well know this -- in terms of male-male, there aren't many ways to make love.

For two guys, there are just a few things you can do which involve the genitals -- and only one is, for us, true male-male love making.

Translation: oral and anal don't count.

Beyond that, there are a gazillion things which gay-identified men do and call "sex" -- which have nothing to do with sex.

For example:

Is inserting a fist and forearm into a rectum sex?

No.

Neither a fist nor a rectum are genital organs.

It's not sex.

Yet -- a lot of gay-identified men consider fisting to be "sex."

Same with s&m.

So -- I talk about the divorcement of genitality from sexuality -- and that's what's happened among the analists.

It's not something we support.

To us, sex is about genitals.

And should be mutually and directly genital.

As in Cock2Cock.

I was about to just show them the site. But they got it, so no gay porn for them.

Okay.

From my point of view, there's no porn on the site.

There are sexually-explicit images, but they're not porn because in presenting them, we don't intend them to be porn.

The images are to some extent educational -- a lot of guys simply have no idea of what Frot is:

And let's be clear about this.

Every "AIDS Service Organization" site has depictions of anal penetration -- with condom of course -- as part of their "safer-sex" campaigns.

When they do it, it's considered sound public policy.

But when we illustrate an act which is far safer than anal with a condom -- it's porn?

I don't think so.

If it's not porn when they do it -- it's not porn when we do it.

But more than that, these images of Phallus against Phallus are, for us, a representation of a holy act.

And we mean that:

Also -- it's not "gay."

Because "gay" people really don't recognize it as "gay."

And we don't consider ourselves "gay."

It's Men being Men.

To us, these are images of Men being Men:

Obviously, we like Men.

And not just physically.

For we regard Masculinity as a Divine Principle and Manhood as a Divine Gift.

Which, it should be said, is how most of the world's peoples have regarded Manhood and Masculinity throughout the ages.

We now joke about it, but they don't call me a fairy or anything. They just assume it's a weird Indian thing.

Okay.

But then they're lying.

Which is sad.

They're playing the "I'm-straight-and-never-think-about-another-guy" game.

Sad and very tedious.

(More like an anywhere on the planet before Kertbeny came up with "Homosexualität" thing!)

Right!

My family's the easy part: No sexual explanation required.

Good!

It's funny, the only difference between me and my roommates besides the fact that I don't know how they feel about anal, is that I act on my m2m fantasies. They don't. And that's cool. I only did because my girlfriend encouraged me. But now we joke about it: They'll pop in a porn and say "You won't like this." And I'll make a joke about how I'll just watch them. I still don't watch porn.

Good.

It's a mistake to watch porn.

Porn is a commercial enterprise and a commercial product.

You cannot trust it.

My vision of doubledicking is pure, masculine, and egalitarian.

That's right and very well-said!

It says "Have some fun with me and my friend here." The porn version has shaved pubes, and DV [double vaginal] is the least common. My other fantasies are similarly parodied by heterosexual porn. And my newfound all-male fantasies are just a prelude to anal in gay porn.

Yeah.

Do not watch gay porn.

So I have my memories and fantasies.

Right!

Trust those.

Listen to them.

Don't let your sexual and affectional life be shaped by pornographers.

They are a blight upon the planet.

Re: Analism, the more I read about it, the more I'm convinced heterosexual analists are as common as gay ones.

Okay.

Actually, I'm working on something now which references a Slate piece by Wm Saletan regarding the prevalence of hetero anal.

It's an old (2005) article.

But it's one thing to experiment with anal -- which is what that study found male-female couples were doing.

It's another to make it the center of your "sexual" life, night after night after night after night, hook-up after hook-up after hook-up after hook-up.

That's the way gay-identified males -- not all of them, but probably at least 70% -- now live.

I don't think that's true of straight-identified couples.

So -- I don't think the frequency of anal is anywhere near as great among straight couples as it is among gay-identified males.

For what's it worth -- my husband is "bi";

and he's slept with a fair number of women.

But he's never done anal and he never would have.

Even if he hadn't found the Alliance and then me.

He doesn't think you should fuck a woman anally.

It's not something he'd ever do.

I remember the white girls with "preferences" in high school. They'd show me to their racist dads, try to sleep with me on the first date, and either give me an emotionally unsatisfying orgasm or get freaked out at my foreskin. They'd tell their friends about my size. And other stuff that made me feel like a piece of meat.

Okay.

It's common for Black men to be treated that way by gay-identified white guys -- as Black men have described on the site:

• Real life, fantasy, race, sex, love, religion, and frottage

• Being Black and Gay

In turn, I know from my roommates' pornos that analism affects straight guys too. Try to find a title with a minority star who isn't in some sort of stereotype. Try finding a straight porn that isn't about kink or anal to some extent.

Oh yeah.

For a number of reasons -- including the large number of gay-identified males who work in the porn industry -- and the simple fact that pornographers are always looking for a new angle -- they've seized on anal and promote it non-stop.

That's what the religious right should be up in arms about.

But they're not.

I think their collection has one. And if course, lesbians and bi girls are all trying to impress guys. *cleans up dripping sarcasm off floor*

John

pure, masculine, egalitarian

8-18-09

Third email:

I was more joking when I called your site gay porn. It is erotic imagery though.

But there are several ways to make love with another male. You can take each other in hand. You can sex wrestle. You can rub in his thighs, your dick on his balls, while he rubs on your abs. Or you can just embrace and gently grind on each other. And then there's dick2pecs, a good ending to a sex wrestle. (I did this last Friday.)

By DV I meant double vag. Most double penetration porn is double anal or one in each. Anal is still a parody of the feminine, further deconstructed by the fact that the vagina is just inches away. And it's still a dominating act. And the only difference in the amount of shit that comes out is a function of body mass.

By hetero analism, I meant a collection of practices. Remember, anal is only one symptom. Exploitation is another. The analists, in my view, are ultimately exploitive and promiscuous. Their bourgeois attitude is that they're loyal not to a person, but a gender. (Let's pretend for a second that they're men instead of ersatz women.) With that in mind, let's look at the evidence:

• Some straight men and women have racial preferences. This goes all the way to mail-order brides, sex tourism, interracial porn, and other race-themed prostitution. With Indians, it's very hard to pursue a rape conviction with a white perpetrator, something white men and in the form of statutory rape white women take advantage of.

• Some straight women are size queens. Some straight men feel inadequate over size.

• Some straight women won't touch an uncircumcised penis.

• Straight porn typically has more anal than vaginal. And now ass-to-mouth and ass-to-vaginal.

• There is a push to go after lesbian and bi girls, just like there is to go after straight guys in the gay community. And us bi guys? We're apparently really gay but faking our love for women. And we're all having lots of anal with lots of guys.

• Until a straight guy is in a LTR, he gets more social standing for more sexual conquests. The worst thing a guy can be is a virgin. And on and on with the faggotry. (No offense.)

Reply from

Bill Weintraub

Re: pure, masculine, egalitarian

8-18-09

Hey John

Thank you for these great posts!

Regarding the word "faggot" and "faggotry" -- in my view, the word has a traditional and valid use within -- notice that I said within -- the community of "men who have sex with men" --

and that's to indicate people involved in self-defeating behavior.

Which, to me, both analists and heterosexists are.

John, I think your analysis of analism as going beyond just anal penetration is excellent -- "anal is only one symptom. Exploitation is another" -- and an important contribution to the way we think about analism as a social force.

Because clearly analism is exploitative.

And I particularly want to salute you for this line:

My vision of doubledicking is pure, masculine, and egalitarian.

That's our vision too, of Frot in general, and of Frot combined with vaginal.

Pure, masculine, and eqalitarian.

You can't do better than that.

John, thank you again.

You're a true Warrior.

Bill Weintraub

August 18, 2009

© All material Copyright 2009 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.