Bill Weintraub

Frottage is not a fetish

12-22-2001

I was contacted by the webmaster of a bodywork sight today wanting to put up a link to our site under "Fetish."

I'm posting my reply to him here, because I know there are guys in this club who still think of Frot as a fetish.

It's not.

A fetish is something odd or unusual. Genital-to-genital sex is neither. By definition, genital-to-genital is what sex is supposed to be.

What's odd is wanting to stick your dick in a hole full of shit, or, per Gore Vidal, getting stuffed from behind like an olive and claiming to enjoy it.

Here's my response:

dear webmaster

of course i'd be delighted if you put up a link to our site, but absolutely not under the heading fetish

frottage is not a fetish, and one can only define it as such if one defines putting a penis in a vagina as a fetish

frottage is genital-genital sex -- just like penile-vaginal intercourse -- and as men into frottage we will not be ghettoized or have our practice so ridiculously mischaracterized

my sites and all of my writings attack what i call the cultural domination of anal penetration among gay men, and its attendant notion that anal is somehow "normal" and that all other forms of male-male sex are marginal and incomplete

frottage is frottage, and because it is genital to genital intercourse, it is at least the equal of and in our opinion better than anal sex, which seeks to mimic the insertive aspect of heterosexual intercourse while missing the point that sex is about genitals and not about anuses

in terms of your being a bodywork sight, what might interest your visitors about frottage is that it is full-body, that is to say that it is most often practiced face to face, heart to heart, and cock to cock

and that men into frottage really value that full-body contact and eroticism

wrestling too is full-body

our guys who wrestle to frot -- in other words, start off wrestling and then end by rubbing cocks to ejaculation -- say that the physical contest preps the body, pumps the muscles full of blood, and enormously heightens the pleasure and effect of ejaculation

so for many of us erotic bodywork, wrestling, and frottage are all on the same continuum of fullbody, energized sex

once again, i thank you for your interest -- but i wish to make clear that as an advocate for men who practice frottage and for the rest of my website members, it's not acceptable to see frottage listed as a fetish

this is an ongoing battle that i and other frottage site webmasters have -- the absence of a frottage category -- and it's particularly galling to us because frottage is safer sex -- so yahoo for example has a "barebacking" category -- but no frottage category, even though there are a number of frottage and sex wrestling sites on yahoo