Don F

Re: 'my' man to man awakening .....

2-1-2003

Good words you've posted--guys can be GUYS and have a solid relationship based on intimacy and trust.

It has been said that the BRAIN is the most important sex-organ, and I believe there's alot to that idea. So much is made of the "mechanics" of male-male sexuality that the important aspects of psychology and emotion are seldom considered.

For some, the idea of penetration into some sort of orifice--butt, cunt, mouth, or fist is considered essential for male completion. Us frot dudes know it isn't so. Hell, even str8 guys will sometimes cream their jeans while making out with a girlfriend totally without penetration of any sort.

WHY?

Because they are being stimulated MENTALLY, sometimes even more than pnysically, and in many ways reach an emotional peak in their MINDS intense enough in some guys to trigger male orgasm. That was the source of the wet-dreams we knew as kids. It's something guys feel psychologically, gay or str8 that manifests itself in spontaneous sexual release.

I also had a regular frot-buddy relationship in college, and we both knew from the gitgo that our sexual union was physical and MENTAL at the same time. Our emotions peaked along with our bodies--strong MALE emotions that guys can and should share TOGETHER.

The important thing is that frot makes it totally clear to both buds that they are together as MALES with no femme roles involved.

Of course, I can tell from your writing you already know this. So welcome aboard to a group of men who refuse to give up their masculinity in relationships.

Hope to read more of your thoughts.

Don F

Bill Weintraub

Re: 'my' man to man awakening .....

2-1-2003

i thank Christopher and Don for their posts

of course i agree with Don that sexual union is both physical and mental

but although it's common for guys to say that the brain is our biggest sexual organ, i'm always a little wary of thinking of sex as a mind-trip

Joe Kramer says "the genitals are the *generators* of erotic energy," and, as any man who has lost sexual function due to age or disease can attest, absent that genital energy, men quickly lose interest in sex

so we never want to forget the physical basis of what can be a truly spiritual and transformative act

in addition, the in-the-body genital aspect of frot is one of its most important attributes: frot is genital-genital sex

and in that sense, though of course guys may fantasize during the experience, frot is *not* a mind-trip -- it's a full-body and genital experience for *both* men

not true of anal, of course -- anal is genital-nothing "sex" -- the anus is not a sex organ, and all the wishing in the world will not make it so

so when a bottom says he gets off on anal, we need to be clear that he is on a mind-trip

the reality is that neither the anus nor the rectum can tell the difference between a turd and a dick

it's the bottom's mind, such as it is, which is interpreting the full feeling in his rectum as sexual, rather than excretory

but that interpretation is false -- it's not sexual -- what he's feeling doesn't feel like sex, it's the same feeling he gets when he needs to take a dump

not pretty, but true

whereas what Chris and Don are feeling with their budz, and what makes frot unique, is simultaneous and shared male-male genital stimulation

and i want to emphasize that that's an experience which is unique to frot

penile-vaginal sex can be equally powerful, and gay-identified men need to respect the feelings of their straight brothers about that experience, but it's different from frot, which is powerful in its own unique way

so frot allows us to celebrate what Dave Sprowls calls the sacred bonds between men physically, emotionally, and spiritually in a completely masculine and sexually equal act of phallic mating

and that's why

Don F

Re: 'my' man to man awakening .....

2-2-2003

Bill -

Thanks for the speedy response as always.

Sorry in my reply to Christopher's post I didn't feel it necessary, particularly here on a frot-advocacy board, to re-state the specific grossness of analism all over again. Thinking it was covered in the words I included about "penetration" with regard to male sexuality, guess I took it for granted that butts are not us.

Most importantly, please don't think I'm advocating some sort of mind-body dichotomy. That's a philosophy I can't and don't agree with at all.

Quite the opposite, the gist of what I was trying to say is something I know we both agree on--i.e. that frot, being genital-genital in nature, offers the unique opportunity for buds to identify themselves and their partner as MALES. I mean, that with your buddy's swollen cock and balls against yours, is there ANYTHING feminine "down there?" Of course not, so both partners are in full realization that their sex is inherently masculine.

This is physical and mental union, and in my opinion is the quintessense of that feeling of male homosexual "completion" we feel in our minds and our genitals during climax. That overwhelming sense of shared male ONENESS experienced when buds are cumming together is what I refer to here.

It's just fuckin' BEAUTIFUL, and totally masculine.

There's no denying the physical aspect of such male mating, and I wasn't trying to downplay the importance of genital-genital stimulation at all. Far from it. What I meant was, that the whole thing, when experienced through joined male anatomy, communicates to both buds that they are together as GUYS, as opposed to one sacrificing his maleness to the other in a femme role as you pointed out.

The physical is intensified by the mental processes and vice-versa I'm sure. This joining of anatomy and spirit was demonstrated countless times to me, when as a horny college guy I was mating regularly with another equally horny buddy. With mouths clamped together we'd even breathe the same air in and out of each others lungs while our prelube-moist tips glided over sensitive frenulums further enhanced by the sensation of our ball-bags nesting and rubbing together sensuously between our legs.

A graphic illustration to underscore the MALE identification we felt in ourselves and each other.

Physically, we wanted the wet confirmation that would offer the ultimate male intimacy and unite us mentally as well. So ejaculating in each other's semen was the symbolic mark of oneness and union. We both sensed this instinctively somehow. This are not silly romantic or melodramatic feelings, but in my judgement the whole point of any sexual relationship---the mutual identification of both partners as GUYS.

I truly believe THE MIND AND BODY ARE ONE. You cannot sacrifice one without the expense of the other. Guys can and should be guys together. That's what makes FROT HOT. :)

As always, other observations along this line are welcome and appreciated.

Don F