Bill Weintraub

Re: New to this

3-25-2006

Hi guy

Thanks for posting.

Guys have sex with guys.

Always have.

Always will.

What happened between you and your bud was completely normal and natural, an expression of your innate bisexuality.

Society tells you that all humankind is divided into two discrete categories -- gay and straight.

That's a lie.

As a matter, it's the biggest crock you'll ever be handed.

You might encounter some as big, but none bigger than that.

Moreover, you don't need me to tell you that.

Because you now know it from your own life.

YOUR life.

No one else's.

Let's take a look:

Neither of us had gotten any for a while. After the bar, we were at his place and we were joking around saying "You know she wants me, right?" We grabbed our packages saying "You know she'd rather have this than yours?" I pushed him down and we were play-fighting. I don't know if this is significant, but the fighting was mixed with laughter - it wasn't as aggressive as the stuff I have since read about on this site.

That's not significant.

Frot is not about fighting -- it's about having fun.

You guys were having fun.

We wrestled our clothes off and we were left in just our underwear.

Time flew like we didn't even know how we got there. He even managed to pull off my underwear. It was as if that was his way of winning. I stopped fighting back and he got up wearing nothing but underwear and headed to teh kitchen (I guess for a beer or water?). Because I thought it would be funny, I put my finger in his waistband and pulled it down, tripping him. We wrestled, laughing, and something came over us. I don't know when, but after a while we were just intent on getting off.

We rolled around rubbing together, forgetting about the girl we were fighting for. I know I had forgotten about everything else in the world.

Right.

This is a very intense experience.

Frot is direct, mutual, male-male genital-genital sex.

There's no purer form of sex.

No truer.

And nothing more powerful.

It's an intensely and uniquely male sexual expression.

We both came. He came first and that set me off and we ended up falling asleep on the floor.

Right.

His orgasm triggers your.

That's how it works.

Don Frazer has talked about this a lot: buddies coming together -- see for example men who like to have sex with men.

Next morning, I didn't want to confront the issue. So I got dressed and wrote a note saying I had someplace to be and left.

That's understandable, but unfortunate.

Because it may well complicate your future relations.

That's the problem with the closet and denial.

This was two weeks ago. Since then, I don't know what to think. I never thought about this kind of stuff before. The closest my thoughts came to being homoerotic was my desire to share a girl with another guy and I always thought of that as a bonding thing. The thought of cheering each other on when we were with the girl was really hot to me, but that was as far as my thoughts went.

Again, that's a common male fantasy.

As is double-dicking or co-ramming the same woman.

It's a way for guys to think about being sexual with another guy -- without acknowledging that they're thinking about it.

I had a flood of thoughts and confusions. I am not interested in anal sex at all.

Right.

That means you're normal.

Men have to be acculturated into anal.

If they're not told repeatedly and then taught to do it -- they don't do it.

Because there's no reason to do it.

The thought of it makes me go limp, but I had fun with my friend and I think it was more rewarding than any of my experiences with women.

Okay.

We don't get into penile-penile is better than penile-vaginal.

Most bi-guys just say they're different.

But it may be that for you -- Frot is hotter.

So be it.

For one thing, there's no performance anxiety during Frot.

You're both guys, you're both hard, and you don't have to think about it.

Again, it's a completely pure masculine sexual expression, and not tied to the hierarchies of male-female / dominant-submissive / top-bottom.

Again, it's pure.

Your body and your buddy's are hard-wired to enjoy it.

During Frot, all the societal bullshit falls away and you become what you primally are -- a man.

Pure.

Primal.

Male.

I found this site through a Google search (I don't even remember what I was searching for) and now I know I'm not alone. But I don't know how to talk about it, what to do with this friend (who I haven't spoken to since).

Try talking to him.

As I said, your walking out on him in the morning is a complicating factor, and he may well choose to give you the cold shoulder in return.

But maybe not.

Maybe, like you, he's been thinking about this since it happened.

I assure you, he hasn't forgotten it.

And no matter what he tells you -- he never will.

He came first.

Remember that.

I keep telling myself that I'm not gay - that it was just an impulsive hormonal night.

You're probably not gay; gay means having a more-or-less exclusive sexual interest in other guys.

But you're not straight either.

You're bi.

Just like everybody else.

You can deny that for the next 30 years -- as many of the middle-aged guys on this site have done.

Or you can face it now and deal with it and have what you need in your life.

Then, I take it a step further and say that it was just my penis that got impulsive and hormonal, as if I had a gay penis.

Cute but really silly.

There's no such thing as a gay penis.

We could say you have a "guy penis" -- but that's a tautology.

You have a penis.

Like every other guy.

You -- and your cock -- are naturally attracted to other guys and their cocks.

NATURALLY.

Normal and natural.

Sex between men is normal and natural.

I am aware I'm having trouble dealing with this, which I guess is a first step.

Help!

I hope other guys will post here and/or write you.

But you can help yourself.

By reading as deeply as you can on this board and in Warriors Speak.

And then by reading as many of the cultural and political articles in Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution as you can.

And you need to do that.

Because that's the only way you can counteract all the lies you've been told about sex and guys.

You need to read.

You also need to support the site by donating.

Or else the site will go away, and not only will it not be here for you, but it won't be here for all the other men who need it.

And the larger culture will not change.

You need to understand that.

You have a deep and intimate stake in the survival and success of this site and of the Frot Movement.

You can pretend otherwise.

But that will not change the reality.

Good luck to you -- I hope you and your bud can get together again.