Pure love and passion



Pure love and passion


I'm only 18 years old and a virgin, but I love this site! First of all, the guys pictured are very hot. Secondly, it makes total sense! Let me explain:

---When I first became attracted to other guys it wasn't even about sex at all. I just loved looking at the beautiful shape of a guy's body and liked the masculinity. Then I eventually realized I was gay.

---I've always felt different than most people my age for being gay, and I was often very depressed throughout high school. I'd say I realized I was gay at about age 10 (maybe even earlier). I had virtually no friends at all in school. I just graduated in May 2003.

---When I was 13-14, I got the Internet. The Internet has been an important source of info. for me (about sex, bein gay, news, chatting, music...). I first saw actual gay porn then too. I was amazed at the beauty of a man's body and genitals. I've always wanted to be close to another boy--make love, hold each other, kiss, etc. But on the Internet, is where I learned about anal sex for the first time.

---Since then I have been to a gay pride parade, been to hundreds of gay web sites, etc. Everyone is always handing out condoms like the only way for two gay men to be intimate is through anal sex.

---I just bought a dildo recently and I've only used it twice. It was actually kind of scary to use it, and it did in fact hurt. It wasn't pleasurable for me, and I didn't really expect it to be. I guess that's why they have sites online explaining how to make anal sex less painful and why gay men almost scream in porn videos when they are getting cock up their ass!

---So it obviously hurts, and the anus does not have highly sensitive nerves like the penis does. To me it isn't very equal. One guy (bottom) is in pain while one guy (top) is in pleasure. It just doesn't seem like a very loving thing to do. I've always thought that S&M, domination, anal, etc. turned me on, but this site helped me realize that it never really has! Sex, to me, should be more about the genitals and pure love and passion, not the anus--where shit comes out!!

---My point is that, I am thankful for this website and knowing that people like this actually exist. I don't feel as alone, but I still feel quite lonely. Everywhere you turn in the gay community, there are discussions/tv shows/promotions about condoms, AIDS, and of course the real cause of the problem--anal sex and promiscuity (which doesn't necessarily have to relate to anal in my opinion). It seems like gay guys almost LEARN to be promiscuous and enjoy anal sex, when in reality, none of that is enjoyable! I'm proud to say, that when I do lose my virginity, it won't be through anal (and probably never will). I want real love, and boy2boy contact, not a sleazy, unsafe, hurtful form of straight sex! Keep up the good work on this site.


Bill Weintraub

Re: Pure love and passion


thanks Andy

that's great

when Andy first wrote to me, a few days ago, he was concerned about promiscuity.

but he said, he still believed that anal "is about the most intimate (physically) you can get with another man"

so i wrote back to him and explained that anal is actually a barrier to intimacy, that it creates a barrier between two men where none need exist

and then i asked him this question:

"if you met a guy -- who was handsome, loving, sweet, tender -- the man of your dreams -- and he said to you, "Andy, i'll love you and be true to you all of our lives

but i don't want to do anal sex"

"would you care?

would you think you'd missed out on something important?

or would you think it was more important to respect the man you'd loved and who loved you?

Andy -- it's not a test -- you don't have to answer right away -- just think about it"

and then i told him some things about anal -- about the shit, the pain, the disease, the lack of equality

and he realized that he was more interested in love than in anal

so he cked out the site -- and you can see the result

what's scary about Andy's story is how young he was when he first saw anal on the net

13-14 he says

and that started the identification of gay with anal for him

what would have happened to him if he hadn't found our site -- and it may still happen, because he's going to experience enormous peer pressure to conform to anal, and promiscuity, and effeminacy -- is that he would have gotten into anal

and he would have stayed with it, no matter how unpleasant it was for him -- because that's all he would have known

that's why it's so important that we get the word out everywhere we can

because right now this site vs anal is basically Bambi Meets Godzilla

there are literally tens of thousands of anal sites

including, de facto, "community information" sites like GMHC's and and

and of course

these sites claim to be neutral

but in reality they push anal

and then there's this site

so we have to work very hard

otherwise, every gay and bi kid in America will get sucked into that culture of anal, promiscuity, and effeminacy

and not only will HIV continue to be a problem, but we'll have another anally-vectored epidemic that will make AIDS look like -- SARS

reality: because it's so much easier to be gay now, there are far more openly gay guys around -- and even more young guys experimenting with bisexuality

those guys are all at risk

that's why i'm so strict on this site about anal and promiscuity

if you haven't been through AIDS, you don't understand how bad life can be -- and how quickly that can happen

it only takes a moment -- to destroy your life

i hope other guys on the site will help Andy stay true to what he believes

not by hitting on him

but by helping him understand that he can be a man who loves man

and still be a man



Re: Pure love and passion


Hey andy,

i am 19 and came across this site somewhat recently myself. It confirmed my unarticulated sexual desires more than I had known they could be. I am glad yet another young gay man has found this site before just backing up on a dick like all the rest.

Its hard to want what we(here) want because of how uneducated most gay men are about sex - they onlt really know about anal sex cuz, to quote bill(from somewhere on the site) - "if someone ain't gettin fucked, it aint sex!"

and i really disagree with the current notion that one must get "fucked".

David McQuarrie

Re: Pure love and passion


That was a great post Andy.

I can certainly relate in my conversations with friends and acquaintances in person and on the net. A large majority of heterosexuals equate being "gay" with the practice of anal sex. I know from my own experience that when I first came out in October of 1984, my brother (older) asked me "doesn't anal sex hurt, how can you do that?? It was a great question and one that was easily answered, "I don't know because it doesn't interest me" and that statement still rings true today.

Being "gay" IS NOT ABOUT ANAL SEX, it's the LOVE that ONE MAN has for ANOTHER MAN.

In my opinion "gay sex" is about respect, equality, it's masculine and natural, it's about love and devotion and above all it's the mutual sharing of two men who join together cock on cock as they become one.

Frot is natural, equal, masculine and safe. I've heard it said that "frot is just vanilla sex" a prelude to "the real thing". That makes me laugh. What could be more natural for two men in love then joining at the male genitals? The last time I looked, neither the anus nor rectum suddenly became sexual organs. So if Frot is "vanilla sex", which it's NOT, I'd much rather have vanilla cream then chocolate SHIT.



Re: Pure love and passion



I'm pretty much in the same boat as Andy... in a couple of ways. I think I've always known that I'm bi... but even then, that word makes me cringe. I don't like the label. I prefer to say that I love PEOPLE, not one type over the other, but that's just me.

I was a virgin until very recently... my own choice. I'm 18 now, as well, and I just didn't feel ready for sex yet. However, recently, a gay friend and I started dating, and we made love for the first time only a couple of nights ago. It was just simple and clean passion. I know he's been into anal, and I know he's mentioned it to me several times (before we started sleeping together), but he knows that it doesn't interest me. Anal sex has always seemed dirty to me (both with a man, and a woman), and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this (thanks to this website!).

I'm just hoping he understands that this relationship is about mutual respect and love, as two men... not a 'top' and a 'bottom.' I'm thinking that sending him this site's address will help that out. ;)

Thanks again.

- Frost

Bill Weintraub

Re: Pure love and passion


hey frost

thank you for your post -- it's terrific

now i know this is going to sound harsh, but i hope you'll read our article on Date Rape

i wrote that article because i've been hearing from a lot of men in situations like yours

and what often happens is that the pressure exerted by the guy into anal becomes worse and worse

that's not -- at least necessarily -- because the man into anal is an evil or bad person

it's because he's a well-acculturated or socialized member of his subculture, obedient to group norms

so he sincerely believes that anal sex is the norm for men who have sex with men, and that you're not fully mature or complete until you've done anal

such men will keep pressuring their partners to have anal because they feel that the relationship has not truly been consummated until that happens

Frost, *if* your friend does that -- that is to say, if he keeps pressuring you to do anal even though you've said you don't want to:

you'll have to make a choice

give into him -- or stop seeing him

because what i've heard from other men and what i know from my own experience of this -- is that such men will not change

that's not because you're not a persuasive advocate for frot

it's because the power of the subculture is too great

that's why i've said on our sites and elsewhere now for three years that what has to change is the culture

of course cultures are made up of individuals, and of course cultural change is in part a function of individual change

but in this instance, before we can realistically expect individuals to change -- we need to initiate genuine cultural change

that means that there has to be a widespread national discussion of what sex between men is

barring that discussion -- though you may be able to persuade the occasional "gay man into anal" that if he wants to date you, he can't do anal

don't count on that happening

because everything in his culture is telling him that if it isn't anal, it isn't truly gay, it isn't truly mature, it isn't truly complete

and you alone will not be enough to change his mind

if every visitor to this site joined together to change the culture and thus his mind -- it could be done

until that happens -- you'll need to stay true to yourself, and your dream of what sex and love between men can and should be

if you do that, you'll find the man you're looking for



Re: Pure love and passion


Whats wrong with vanilla sex? It's a BDSM term that means "normal sex" with no power dynamics, pain, or kink. Sounds right to me.

Bill Weintraub

Re: Pure love and passion


Actually, coolblue, "vanilla" is more often used to refer to ordinary anal -- anal without any kink.

So if someone says he's into vanilla sex, you should assume he means anal -- and of course ask him.


Re: Pure love and passion











Re: Pure love and passion


I was on a dating site looking for 'real' men and came across this site in someones profile. This site is awesome. Finally somewhere that i fit in. I didnt fit in the 'straight' world because i knew i was attracted to men, but didnt fit into the typical 'gay' scene because it was a drama filled, queeny, lustful, anal sex driven world. Most of the cool, straight acting, down to earth guys dont come 'out' because of that.

Like some of the other posts mention, I am attracted to the physical beauty of a man. I am also (and most importantly) attracted the emotional side of a man. Its the emotion and feeling that attracts me. I want a mans heart not just his dick. I have been more satisfied from just holding and touching another man and sharing with him than i have ever been with sex.

Though i have never been turned on by anal, I have given it a few times. I can honestly say it did nothing for me. It was just an empty action. For most of the time i kept getting soft and would have to do something to arouse myself to continue. On the other hand I have been turned on so much from kissing, and touching and holding that i could cum without stroking. (sorry if thats all too detailed, but its kinda hard to explain how i feel).

So, thanks for this site. Hopefully there are cool guys in my area that feel the same way. Its hard to find guys that do.


Big D

Re: Pure love and passion


You really don't know how lucky you are to find this website now. When I was your age, I knew something was different with me, but I didn't know what. I loved being with other guys and feeling their bodies. I fought with myself and the "church" for a very long time before I came to terms with it all.

If I had found a site like this back then, I would have had a much happier life. Read the articles, learn, follow your heart. Never give in to anything you don't want.



Re: Pure love and passion


Wow. I too, am one more young guy who has been lucky enough to find this site. I am 19 and to know that there are other people out there who feel the same way about the whole "gay community and lifestyle" is incredebly comforting. I've pretty much known my whole life that i liked boys not girls.

Like most people, coming to grips with my sexuality has been one of my hardest struggles. At this point in my life i know who i am and i love myself for it, but "coming out" just doesn't seem right to me. I don't like the idea that being gay means you have to have sodomy, you have to be all femm, and you will just hook up with any guy any time for a meaningless F***. I really don't like any of these things and I have always felt like an outsider to the "popular gay culture" because of their lack of morals such as fidelity.

Its so wonderful to find people who feel the same way. Its so wonderfull to learn about this way to have sex with a man as an equal. Face to face, chest to chest, dick to dick, is real intimacy between men. I'm just so exited about all this. Thank you for yout time and hearing me out



Re: Pure love and passion



Im a newbie in this site but an afficionado in FROT LOVE. Though I am a virgin. Hehehe! :)

I like your response guys! I have to agree with you.

Anal sex is really a turn off to me. Scietifically proven that the anus is very fragile that when fucked regularly will eventually tear and lead to infectious diseases. The thing we want to avoid. Right guys?!

Anus is not the organ for pleasure. It's the cock. In anal sex only the top is satisfied coz his cock is rubbed inside his partner's ass. The bottom suffers and gets bored so he has to jack off. It does not promote love but inequality in both partners.

Frot is the real man to man sex. Not only their cocks are aroused but also their heart, mind, chest, nipples, and abs! Love blanket will wrap them together.

MY two cents. :)

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