To Suffer and Be Strong

Bill Weintraub

Bill Weintraub

To Suffer and Be Strong


Patrick remains very ill and his prognosis is not good.

That's the major reason I haven't been posting.

But I do want to put up some posts this week -- not just from myself -- and hopefully, I'll be able to.

What about Patrick?

What I want to get across to you is that this loss is not only mine.

It's yours as well.

And it's a huge loss.

In the Thebaid, which we talked about at length this spring, Polynices goes to war to regain the throne of Thebes.

He's assisted in that war by his bonded Warrior brother, Tydeus.

When, in the course of the war, Tydeus is killed in battle, Polynices laments over his fallen body.

He says, caressing his face, "I have squandered Tydeus."

What does he mean by that?

That in his desire to secure the kingship for himself, which is in many ways a material pursuit, he's allowed Tydeus to be killed.

That's sad.

It is, arguably, tragic.

But what YOU have done -- and yes, I'm talking about you, the guy reading this post -- is far worse.

Because you have squandered Patrick.

And for what?

Not to regain a crown wrongfully denied you --

but to pay your cable bill;

or your membership on gay dot com.

Or to buy some analist porn.

Or a couple lattes.

That's what you've done.

Here's what Patrick brought to our table:

He was a street fighter;

trained as a kick boxer;

had his blackbelt in karate;

taught karate to inner-city kids;

was a chaplain and lay counselor;

and was an openly bisexual man who --

married me, and in so doing put me on the same level as his late wife, to whom he was also married.

That's very rare.

Very few "straight-identified" men would have done that.

But Patrick did it because he was honest.

So he brought all that -- his fighting skills, his teaching skills, his counseling skills, and his honesty as a MAN -- to the Alliance.

And if I had seen even a smidgen of interest in, for example, a Regional Chapter in the Portland area, which Beagle worked so hard to establish --

or if I'd seen something resembling an adequate level of donation --

which I have NEVER seen --

I would have organized workshops and weekends with Patrick so that he could begin to help you realize and reclaim *your* birthright as a MAN.

But I didn't see that.

All I saw was a cowardly and miserly not just reluctance but refusal on your part to do ANYTHING.

Anything at all other than maintain the status quo while looking for guys with whom to rub cocks.



Which historically has not been considered merely the equal of the love of man for woman, but superior -- higher -- and nobler -- than such love.


THAT THE LOVE OF MAN FOR MAN -- and I'm not talking about lust, I'm talking about LOVE -- is a HIGH and NOBLE LOVE --

you will understand nothing about your life and you will be forever enchained.

Just as --

UNTIL YOU RECLAIM YOUR WARRIOR BIRTHRIGHT -- YOUR FIGHTING SPIRIT -- and that means YOUR RIGHT TO FIGHT -- you will understand nothing and forever be enchained.

Patrick could have helped you do both.

Not any longer.


You've traded him for whatever fleshpot you were putting your time and money into it --

and now he's no longer there for you.

That's a great loss.

And it's your loss.

It's not my loss, because I've loved, lived with, and learned from this Man for five years.

You haven't.


Human beings are frail, human beings are fragile, they don't last, you have to seize the moment --

or see it slip forever from your grasp.

In The Fall of Troy, Agamemnon, the Warrior chief of the Greek forces, says:

For all the tangled paths of human life,
By land and sea, are by the will of Fate
Hid from our eyes, in many and devious tracks
Are cleft apart, in wandering mazes lost.
Along them men by Fortune's dooming drift
Like unto leaves that drive before the wind.

Oft on an evil path the good man's feet
Stumble, the brave finds not a prosperous path;
And none of earth-born men can shun the Fates,
And of his own will none can choose his way.

So then doth it behoove the wise of heart --
Though on a troublous track the winds of fate
Sweep him away -- to suffer and be strong.

Suffer and be strong.

Patrick understands what it is to suffer and be strong.

You don't.

Your idea is to give yourself up to idle pleasure -- preferably while cowering among the crowd -- the crowd of analists, the crowd of straight guys -- and be weak.

You learn nothing that way.

And your life remains empty.

This site and this Alliance are not here to indulge your fears, your evasions, your weakness.

That is to say, your UNmanliness.

Either learn to suffer and be strong --

or pass a lifetime --

having neither lived --

nor loved.

Bill Weintraub


Why is Patrick sick?

Guess what --

I'm not going to tell you.

Here's why:

About twenty years ago Patrick suffered an enormous tragedy.

Fifteen years later -- when he and I were first together -- a man who'd been using the site wrote to Patrick and asked him how he'd found the strength -- and that is the word of the day -- strength --

he asked Patrick how he'd found the strength to love another man.

Patrick wrote back -- against my advice, I must say -- and told him the truth.

And do you know that that man -- who was intelligent and educated and well-spoken and, he said, financially quite comfortable --

never wrote back.

Not a word.

And I said to Patrick, you see, before you spend the treasure of your life on these men, most of whom are, in my experience, cowards and ingrates, you have to be sure that they merit it.

So -- some people -- the people I generally refer to as true Warriors -- know the truth about Patrick.

And rest of you don't and won't.

Because you don't deserve to know it.

Do you?

No, you don't, and you know it.

"Suffer and be strong."

You don't suffer -- so you'll NEVER be strong.

You want other people to suffer and be strong for you.

Oh no.

You can't get there by playing it safe.

You have your money, your cars, your houses, your pricey vacations, your hook-up sites, your hustlers -- every fleshly indulgence our very fleshy society can provide.

But you're WEAK.

You're NOT men.

You want to be a man -- vicariously.

Not possible.

Suffer and be strong.

Or be nothing.

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2007 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.


Re: To Suffer and Be Strong


As a motorcyclist I can fully accept the idea that "Warriors help each other", but what has being a motorcyclist got to do with being a Warrior?

Well I don't know about the USA but in the UK there is a Bikers Code and this is that you acknowledge your fellow bikers on the road and should you find a biker broken down at the side of the road you STOP to help you don't have to know them they just have to be a BROTHER biker to deserve your help.

So STOP for Patrick, if you are a Christian you can send your prayers, if not then take time to send your hopes for a full recovery but take some time out to do it how about NOW if not NOW then when?

"Lord I place Patrick in your hands for healing, remembering the many times that while on Earth you healed I ask this for him. In Jesus' name Amen"


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