Dear Bill,

Your letter was greatly appreciated, as I know you must be incredibly busy. I wanted to tell you thanks for the recommendation of The Western Way of War; I'm picking it up from the library tomorrow and am really looking forward to reading it. Your comments on Hanson's seeming discomfort with the open acceptance of m2m sexuality of the Greeks struck a chord with me. That's far too prevalent in society today where so few people are uncomfortable with their own looks, physiques and sexuality, perhaps because of what they perceive they should be due to the media that saturates every facet of our lives. I am learning to be very comfortable with my own body, AND my sexuality, as I figure it out at last. I'm a tall man, athletic, and there's nothing effeminate or soft about me, so your website was incredibly eye-opening to realize that there have been, and are, others like me.

natural male sex aggression

Bill, I wasn't aware that the Greeks denigrated anal and prescribed frottage, but it's fascinating to learn of that. The erotic, m2m side of Greek warrior culture is something I've never really known about, simply because I didn't know where to look, and probably because of fear of "what they might think." (I've now learned to not care about "they" anymore!) Privately, I've always loved the idea of what the Greek warriors were able to enjoy. The idea of being in a gym, unburdened by clothing, where there are other men like me, has always appealled to me. Like I mentioned before, the testing of your strength and endurance in the exercises while encouraging other men as they do the same, and all the time enjoying the freedom of nudity among men without guilt would be something I admit I would enjoy very much. Also, your mention of "There are a great many men like ourselves who experience what I call 'natural male sex aggression,' and who seek an outlet for it in various kinds of nude battle" was fascinating to me, since for years I've wondered if I was the only one, a throwback to two thousand years ago!

As a flight attendant, my familiarity with gay culture, and openly accepting it as a lifestyle for others if not for me, has also made me aware of my total lack of interest in anal sex with another man. I was aware even as a small boy though that the phsyical contact of wrestling and so on felt incredible as we tested our strength, and as I begin to study ancient Greek military history and explore my own body, it was confusing to say the least, trying to understand "those feelings" from an early age.

Your advice to "...trust your instincts..." is welcome, and perhaps it's long overdue. Although my own m2m experience is virtually nil, you've at least made me wake up and understand a lot of what has been confusing and hidden for a long time. Bill, again my gratitude, and thanks once more for your deeply appreciated letter.

Jeff ("Argaeus")

Bill,

Again, thanks for taking the time to write back to me. If I start wasting too much of your time, please let me know! It's just that after finding your website, and also from your two letters, it's like a lightbulb has flashed on after years confusing darkness. Also, thanks for the encouraging words, "your instincts are right and natural." Again, after years of not understanding any of this "brave new world" I've discovered...it really helps to hear from someone else who's been there.

Bill, something you wrote last night really woke me, namely " contemporary gay culture is built upon anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy -- and no rational person would seek to be part of that." I have wondered for years exactly where I fit in, and tried to understand the irresistable draw of the ancient Greek warrior culture but my own complete disinterest with the current gay culture. With your few words, you summed up what I've been confused about since I was a small boy. By the way, your Hyacinthine Love article was excellent, and eye opening. What you were fortunate to have shared with Brett was straight out of Homeric legend, and I envy you for it. (For me to openly admit that is a giant step, believe me!)

Perhaps like you, I came from a background where sex was NEVER discussed in any fashion, much less any kind of male eroticism whatsoever of ANY kind, gay, straight or anything else. Even bodybuilding was frowned on as "one of THOSE guys," when in fact I was very comfortable in the gym and that environment while all along happily dating girls and wondering what everyone was so "concerned" about. Your fantastic website opened my eyes to the hidden part of me, mainly that there can be among men intense masculine sensuality, something that especially athletes and combatants can readily understand. This is what eluded me for so long, and now, again thanks to you and your work, I'm beginning to understand.

Long winded, Bill, and I hope you'll forgive me, but to finally begin to comprehend and FEEL COMFORTABLE with who I am is a powerful feeling. Your article about the Greek warrior culture, nude combat and more was exactly what I've longed for and sought for so long. All the times I enjoyed wrestling with my friends, the last thing I wanted was to be wearing clothes. Seeing that depicted on your website, especially the sci-fi story, was really an eye-opener.

Before I forget to mention this again, the Greek artwork on your site is incredible, both unrelentingly masculine AND incredibly erotic, another first for me to be able to admit! I greatly enjoyed not only the Greek art on pages like Heroes, but the photographs of the men as well, which again is something new and powerfully exciting to me. I've longed for years to have access to a gym something like they were able to enjoy in Athens or Sparta, but the closest thing to that I'm aware of is a gay bath house, really not too interesting to me! The other choice I've thought of would be something like Haulover Beach in Miami, where nude volleyball with other men would be a new experience and possibly a lot of fun. At this point, the most difficult part is that after finding your site and understanding the powerful attraction ancient Greece has always held for me, I haven't a clue what to do next.

This could be an interesting, if confusing, year...!

Thanks again, Bill

Jeff

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