Bill Weintraub

Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts?

Posted: 1/7/2002

As I've been telling you guys, I've been posting on 365gay.com and yahoo commenting on news stories about spiraling rates of drug use and unsafe sex.

When I do that I always include the URL of our HeroicHomosex site.

Today 365gay.com deleted two of my posts and instituted a new posting policy outlawing "obscenity" and links to outside sites.

I responded with two posts which so far they've let stand, and I'm pasting in one of them below, which I encourage you to read.

But you need to post as well.

This is the third time I've asked you to do that, and frankly I'm really pissed that so few of you have. Your failure to post is both cowardly and self-defeating, and I don't like being around that sort of behavior.

Over the last 15 months I've alternately cajoled and harangued you guys about posts, and it doesn't seem to matter much which I do -- so I'm just going to go on telling you how I feel, and right now I'm thoroughly disgusted with you.

Today we had another African-American profile in courage on the site when John Renard posted under his own name about being bi and married and into frot. It's a stunning post, and I thank John deeply for making it.

So now we've had Chuck Tarver, Rob Owens, John Renard, and Tari Akpodiete -- all people of African descent -- post under their own names about frot. And David McQuarrie -- who's Canadian.

Where are all the other white guys? Particularly all you white guys who squealed like stuck pigs when I instituted the no-racism-in-the-Personals policy?

Answer: still cowering in your closets.

Well, it's really tempting to make an example of a few of you and your rather pathetic attempts at manliness in the Personals, but I'll spare you for the moment.

But dudes -- none of you -- not one of you -- can have what you say you want -- Love -- until you find the courage to be yourself.

Who has posted on 365gay or yahoo? David McQuarrie, the cockster, Don F, and cowboyangel, and cowboy posted under his own name -- way to go Dave.

[These guys were later joined by gaifrot, Justin, and William Thomas.]

The cockster emailed me today about 365gay in the midst of having lost a dear friend. I'm going to take a chance and quote from his email without his permission:

"It is bewildering that 365gay.com should be so threatened by an alternative point of view --- strongly promoted.

"I think that in your sites -- our cockrubwarriors movement -- there is a power that is new.

"Like many others I have been put down by gay men many times. Told I haven't moved on from 'schoolboy sex' that I 'need to move on to real sex'. The analists love to patronise us. Dismiss us as physically and emotionally 'under developed'.

"The new power that your sites and approach have brought is that you talk like a big man. A grown up, powerful and intelligent man. You do not 'sweeten' the message. You ask for no 'permission' to speak your message.

"This I think the Gay 'establishment' find this very threatening. And they have no response. You are too grown up to be put down like a boy. So they delete or omit you (us). We have to keep hammering away."

The cockster is right. We -- all of us, including you -- have to keep hammering away. No matter what you may think, participation is not optional. Every opportunity that you let pass to strike a blow for yourself and your freedom weakens you.

But every time you act you'll grow stronger.

To post, go to 365gay.com and click on "forum" in the upper menu bar.

Dear 365gay.com reader,

Yesterday I posted the message pasted in below in response to deletions by 365gay.com of my previous posts regarding anal, drugs, and safe alternatives.

365gay.com claimed that it deleted my posts because they had links -- heaven forfend!!! -- to other sites.

As though the internet was not about links.

I ask the readers of 365gay.com -- what alternative do I have?

I'm a gay activist with a 30-year public and verifiable record of organizing and contributing to the gay community -- unlike 365gay.com, never for pay or profit.

And always openly and under my own name -- which I can assure you 30 or even 20 years ago was not an invariably pleasant experience. I wonder if those making policy at 365gay.com can say the same?

If 365gay.com allowed it, I could direct you to my website where you could read my biography and verify it for yourself.

But 365gay.com, in its wisdom, won't let me give you the tools to do that.

In 1997, I became concerned about the pressure and coercion in the gay male community to have anal sex, and the ways in which men who refused to have or disliked anal were being denigrated -- denigration within a community which is supposed to be built on sexual tolerance.

I wrote a series of articles about how the emphasis on anal sex within our community was destroying that community -- physically, psychologically, and spiritually.

And suggesting an alternative practice -- which I dare not name, since 365gay.com may deem it obscene, and so subject to deletion.

And, eventually, based solely on their merits, my views were published in the smaller, less commercial gay presses.

Those articles are still available on the web, but 365gay.com, with its all-encompassing knowledge of what's good and bad for the gay community, won't let me tell you where they can be found.

My work, by the way, was published by some of the most distinquished editors in the gay press, including Toby Johnson, friend and student of the renowned mythologist Joseph Campbell, and Jack Nichols, who is in every history of gay rights as the guy who, in 1962, convinced the Mattachine Society to oppose the medical model of homosexuality, and went on to become the editor of the first national gay newsmagazine.

But of course 365gay.com won't let you find out why these men, who together have more than 70 years of service to the gay community, thought my work was worth publishing.

When I tried to move my ideas into larger gay venues however -- places like POZ, Advocate/PlanetOut.com or gay.com -- I ran into a wall.

The gay press, which for years had flourished by encouraging discussion and dissent, had changed -- it was now obsessed with status and celebrity and maintaining the gay status quo.

So, I did what everyone else in the frottage movement has been forced to do -- opened a website of my own -- so that those who wanted to understand my thinking would have a place to do so.

For my ideas -- though not radical and well within the mainstream of academic thinking about culture and sexuality over the last twenty years -- are complex. They can't be neatly compressed into a message board.

And I opened a site too because I wanted to provide a place for men who were not into anal to be free of the omnipresent cultural messages extolling anal, promiscuity, effeminacy and drugs.

And I there presented to them my own view of an alternative to that very destructive anal culture, which I call Heroic Homosex -- an m2m culture built on equality, masculinity, and loyalty to the man you love.

But 365gay.com's policy is to not let me tell you where that site can be found. And to not report on the social movement of which it is an outgrowth. And to not allow opinion pieces that might give you a sense of it either.

That's censorship of the worst sort. It cuts off a dissenting point of view at a time of emergency in the gay community, a point of view that seeks to present a way out of the anal morass to gay men.

Over the last 10 days, 365gay.com has presented two articles about anal and drugs: the first on circuit parties, and today's on high drug use among NYC's gay men.

365gay.com is glad to report the sensational problem, but won't let you hear about a sane and sensible solution.

That is a betrayal of Gay Liberation, a betrayal of the gay male community, and a betrayal of a free press.

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bill Weintraub

PS

Here's one of the posts that 365gay.com won't let you read.

SHAME

On the same day that 365gay.com ran as its lead "Gay Drug Use Reaches New Highs in New York" -- drug use that is part and parcel of the dominant culture of anal sex -- it deleted my posts on this board critical of that culture.

Why? What are you afraid of? And who or what are you protecting?

Diseases transmitted through anal sex have killed not one gay man, and not ten, but hundreds of thousands of gay men in just two decades.

Yet, when I criticize the culture that underwrites that deadly sexual behavior, my posts are censored.

While you and your buds at gay.com, the Advocate, and PlanetOut.com all refuse to do either news stories or run opinion pieces on our movement and our work.

It's a level of censorship which I haven't seen since the worst days of the Heterosexual Dictatorship.

As a Gay Liberationist, let me remind you of something: wherever there's oppression there's resistance. And the more you attempt to suppress us, the harder we will fight.

And we will win.

The culture you're propping up is one of tops and bottoms, anal promiscuity, and effeminacy. It's not viable. That's why people are using drugs -- to mask the pain of their lives.

We offer equality, masculinity, and loyalty to the man you love.

Let the readers of this message board choose -- if you dare.

Bill Weintraub

[URL of site deleted to satisfy 365gay.com censors.]

John Renard

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

Hello Bill,

I am complimented to be included in the group of such erudite and articulate members as Chuck Tarver, Rob Owens, and Tari Akpodiete -- all people of African descent, but you can include me in your group of white, anglo-saxon members. I just hope that I can contribute as much to the effort of the list as they apparently have done.

Best regards,

John

mnfall

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

What is the deal? Who are you to tell us what to do and not to do...I am removing my membership to your group.

You are not a dictator and I don't appreciate being talked to as you have.

davidwmnet

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

WTF - Guy wake up and smell the coffee !

Instead of throwing a "hissey fit", why not use that energy and do something positive! Apathy is a dangerous thing and if you don't have the balls to stand up and be counted, then you're part of the problem !

Interesting that you chose to challenge the moderator of the group instead of the problem itself. And to delete your profile so that no one can challenge you on your posting, because you have no email address, just shows the degree of cowardice you hold.

It's guy's just like you that sit back, maybe you read the postings, you jerk off for sure to the pictures, and then when asked to make a simple 10 minute contribution of your fucken time, you resent it. Well dude I resent your APATHY! Who the hell are you, I'll tell you, your a sheep waiting to be slaughtered, and buddy you have the right attitude for it. Sit back now and watch the world go bye, don't get involved, oh but please make sure to complain when you feel put-upon!

Good luck buddy, you'll need it.

APATHY KILLS ABSOLUTELY - BE PART OF THE SOLUTION NOT THE PROBLEM !

Bill Weintraub

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

I apologize to John Renard for my error.

But I was amused by "mnfall's" closeted indignation -- and as David said, he seems to have gone off in a no-doubt well-appointed huff.

Typically, mnfall is a guy who's never contributed to the club in any form whatsoever -- so it's been take take take for mnfall, and not an ounce of give.

So I want to make clear once again why I feel so strongly about the importance of participation.

Throughout the 1970s, Gay Liberationists like myself urged gay men to come out. And, as I've been doing here, we alternately cajoled and harangued.

Because we knew that life would be better for all of us if the public could see us as we genuinely were -- not as the limp-wristed ineffectual stereotypes of popular culture.

But the overwhelming majority of gay men resolutely stayed in the closet -- primarily for financial reasons. If you were closeted, you might not have your self-respect, but you had money. If you came out, chances were you would take a financial hit.

As a result of what was a very conscious choice by millions of gay men, when AIDS hit in 1981 the gay community was extremely weak. We had only two national organizations -- National Gay Task Force, which had fewer than 9,000 members, and Gay Rights National Lobby, which I worked for, and which had fewer than 3,000 -- it was kept alive primarily through contributions from Jack Campbell, founder of the Club Baths.

To put those numbers in perspective, members of Congress generally ignore lobbies, like the NRA, with fewer than 2 million members.

So we had no power whatsoever in Washington DC.

What's worse, throughout the late 1970s we had suffered a series of devastating repeals of local gay rights ordinances, which had been passed by well-meaning liberals and then over-turned by well-organized fundamentalists.

Therefore, most politicians knew they could safely ignore us.

Which is what Ronald Reagan did. He refused to deal with AIDS in any way whatsoever, other than to try to obstruct congressional efforts to research the causes and treatments for the disease.

As a result, it was four years before the mode of transmission of the disease was understood, and fifteen years before there were any truly effective treatments.

Hundreds of thousands of gay men died, including my lover and all of our friends.

And, contrary to present-day popular belief, it took most of the decade of the 80s for gay men to become truly energized about the disease. Despite the extent of the catastrophe, most gay men remain closeted until they got sick and were forced out by the unmistakeable indicators of AIDS.

And many maintained their closets as long as possible -- indeed, many managed to die in them.

That's the way it goes. If you put yourself in a position of weakness, you're liable to die there -- and take a whole lot of other people with you.

And people who don't like to hear these unpleasant truths should not be in a political club run by an activist and surviving partner.

Now, regarding 365gay.com, what I've asked you to do is very little. It takes no more than 5 minutes to click on that link and post a message that says "I don't like all the pressure to have anal. I'm into frot, and I'd like the media and the safer-sex boyz to pay some attention to me."

If you won't do that, maybe you can explain to me why I should be doing any of this for you -- writing stories, and maintaining message boards, and speaking out in your behalf.

Why?

Why? Why should I help people who have so little interest in helping themselves?

It's not that I don't understand oppression guys. I know that many of you have terrible self-images, that you've been told that you're sick and immature and incomplete so many times that you believe it.

But you have to find the strength to fight back and tell the world the truth about who you are. And if all my words and all the posts of your fellows on this board and in Warriors Speak haven't enabled you to do that, I wonder what will.

artcon

1/8/2002

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

Bill,

Not sure if you remember me, but I've posted here before. I might have some insight on why you're not getting as much observable support as you'd like. At least this is true in my case. You got me all fired up about writing to the Advocate, and in fact, I started to write a letter. However, my lover (of 19 years!) told me he wasn't in favor of the idea. Not that he disagreed with anything I was going to write, though. He just didn't want my name published. A lot of our friends read the Advocate, he said, and our sex life was no one's business but our own. It's one thing to post stuff on websites where no one actually knows you. It's another to have your name and city published so god-knows-who can contact you from the phone book. Any comments? -- Steve in Las Vegas (Warrior Artcon)

cockster

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

Guys,

As Bill says it's ... 5 minutes to click on that link and post a message that says "I don't like all the pressure to have anal. I'm into frot, and I'd like the media and the safer-sex boyz to pay some attention to me."

With all the anonimity the net affords us.

If you are on a message board. Make a posting. If you haven't got web based email ... get it.

As I have said many times ... keep talking about cocktocock. Hell we're talking about what we like ... and that it's safe and masculine and real horny.

It's like knocking on a door, knowing that there are lots of people on the other side of it. Can they not hear us ? Are they not listening ?

On our side of the door we have choices, walk away, or keep knocking.

Bill is trying to get some guys to knock with him.

Live on guys. Have fun with it. But if nothing else ... do something

davidwmnet

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

Hey Artcon. I understand how you feel guy. If you were to meet me or know my background and family, well you'd be hard pressed to find a more conservative group. I just turned 39 in December, I came out on October 24, 1984 and it was the hardest thing I every HAD to do.

My name is David W. McQuarrie, I'm a gay white man, a faggot, a queer, a homosexual. I'm also PROUD of WHO I AM. I believe in God and my God doesn't make junk. I live and work in Toronto, Canada, I run my own consulting firm. My picture is on my profile.

Firstly, please forgive me if I sound condescending I don't mean to be. I feel passionate about the thoughts and feelings you expressed.

To be gay is to be human as is to be straight. Why some men are gay and others aren't is an interesting thought, but it doesn't change WHO I AM.

Being a gay man makes me no less or no more valuable as a human being living in the 21st century. The fact that my attraction sexually is for other MEN is part of WHO I AM. It's also no secret that HOMOSEX is expressed in various ways. For me, David W. McQuarrie, I DON'T ENGAGE IN ANAL SEX PERIOD. Now me telling you this in public has no consequence really, any friends of mine who read this will not be surprised and to any stranger, like yourself, this confession only affirms what you yourself might believe. That's the point of this for me.

WORLD - DAVID W. MCQUARRIE - IS A GAY WHITE MAN. YES I FIND OTHER MEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE AND YES I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE MAN I LOVE. I'M NOT MARRIED TO A WOMEN OR HAVE ANY CHILDREN AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. DAVID W. MCQUARRIE ALSO DOES NOT GIVE OR TAKE IT UP THE ASS. NO ANAL SEX FOR ME, PERIOD.

This confession is now on the internet and on your computer and every other computer that has accessed this site, maybe millions of people know WHO I AM. What are the consequences of this posting. Well I just told you WHO I AM, what I am and the fact that ANAL SEX IS NOT part of my life. Now Artcon if you did the same thing, what would it really cost you, personally I mean? Embarrassment, maybe some shame or fear. Now whatever those "personal costs" are to you, does it really change your whole world if those who love and care for you know this? I've told my 76 year old mother, my family, friends and the whole world now, that I DON'T LIKE ANAL SEX OR ENGAGE IN IT EVER! You know my mother was relieved to hear me tell her that, she knows ANAL KILLS. Now that's a 76 year old, "upper middle class" widow. She loves me for WHO AND WHAT I AM, her youngest GAY son. When it really boils down to the nitty gritty Artcon, what's the real "cost" or perhaps "reason" your friends might, in your opinion or fear, care that you and your partner don't have ANAL SEX. If you love your partner and your partner loves you, what does it matter what your friends think. Further, why should it matter what anyone thinks about what YOU LIKE or DON'T LIKE sexually. Understand that I'm a conservative guy, do you think I sit down with my friends and tell them that I'm really attracted to a particular guy, but he likes anal sex.... believe it or not I DO. You know what, they think I'm right, 80% of them are straight!

Now I know Artcon that is me, my life. You are a unique human being with your own personal story and history. Would it cost you more or less personally if everyone you knew found out that you are gay, gay and not into anal sex. If a young man signed on this evening and was to look at this posting. He's never had anal sex before or maybe he has but he really doesn't like it. Do you think he would be more or less inclined to read and believe this posting?

In my life experience, honesty has ALWAYS been the best policy. There will be those who agree with me and those who will disagree with me. But when you strip everything away and it's only ME or YOU, do you think it feels better being WHO YOU ARE or WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU ARE?

I always have a good nights sleep!

Justin

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

1/8/2002

Hello Bill,

I am new member, as of only a few days ago. Don't know what all the 365gay.com matter is about, but will start looking into it. If what you were asking for, is some sort of communication of support, would be glad to do that, as is not asking very much.

Bill Weintraub

Re: Who is Bill Weintraub and why is 365Gay Censoring His Posts

Lot of responses guys -- that's great.

First of all Steve -- of course I remember you, and I'm glad you started to write that letter.

Obviously, I don't want to come between you and your lover -- and clearly it's a decision you have to make together.

What I would say to your lover is that unfortunately, we live in a time when our sexuality is a matter of public debate and public confusion.

I did not want, as a child, to have my sexuality be the focus of my life. Not at all.

But what I discovered, as I struggled to grow up and come to terms with who I was, was that I had been lied to repeatedly about homosexuality -- what it was and what it meant.

And that there were many people determined to perpetuate those lies.

And once I discovered Gay Liberation, I resolved to work to end those lies -- so that succeeding generations of gay kids wouldn't have to go through the sort of doubt and self-hate that I did.

Gay Lib has been successful in many areas -- but in others we still have a lot of unfinished business. Because it's very difficult to change a culture -- and that's what we set out to do.

And one of those areas has to do with the identification of gay with anal.

That identification is not only false, but has been literally fatal to hundreds of thousands of men.

So -- do you and your lover have an obligation to say publicly that you have a wonderful love life and anal has never been part of it?

That's something only you guys can decide.

But what the last 30 years has been about is people coming out and speaking the truth of their lives to their communities.

If we hadn't done that, we'd still be where we were in 1965.

In terms of the Advocate, you can request anonymity -- and see what they say.

In terms of the net, as the Cockster says, it's easy to be anonymous.

And that's what makes me so angry. It's so easy now to state your opinion -- too easy in my view, and I don't think the anonymity is a good thing, and that's why I always post under my own name.

But Steve -- starting in 1972 and for many years thereafter, I was "out" on the streets -- and as an activist, my name and number were always public.

And I never had a problem.

And I lived rurally for the last year in a fundamentalist area where eveyone knew I was gay and everyone had guns. No one shot me -- it would have been easy to do, cause there's a lot of drug-related crime in that area and most of it goes unpunished.

But that's no guarantee that if you guys come out in the Advocate you'll be safe too -- you have to weigh the risks to yourselves against the benefits to others.

So what I'm saying to your lover is that often we don't choose the arena -- life chooses for us. Mark Bingham didn't choose to be on a hijacked flight, anymore than I choose to have a lover who would die of AIDS -- but that's what came to us in our lives.

And in this case you have something to contribute to the debate about anal that's unique -- only you guys can say it.

What's important in my view is to be engaged with one's community.

I'm one of these people who thinks that Greek and Roman civilization should be taught in depth in our public schools.

Not because I think that African and Asian cultures or later European cultures were or are deficient, but because the Greeks and the Romans were, until we came along, unique -- citizens who were deeply involved in the democratic political life of their cities and nations.

And as such they're an invaluable source of understanding how people behave in democracies.

And of role models of people who believed that to live well in the moral sense, one had to be involved in bettering one's community.

That's what I believe -- and that's what I've been calling upon you to do in this club.

You all know the saying that all that's necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.

In this case that's literally true. If you do nothing, the dominant culture of anal sex will remain firmly in place -- and there are many evils, not least of which is deadly disease, associated with that culture.

But if you act, it will be overthown.

Justin is right -- I'm not asking for much. I'm simply asking you to do in another place what literally hundreds of you have done on this board or in the Personals -- say "I really love to rub cocks."

It's not a big deal.

But if enough of you say it, it will be.