My best friend



My best friend


I went to a private school for grades 1-10. In 5th grade there was this boy Dennis who joined our class. Over the next 5 years we became friends, but it was in 9th and 10th grade we really became buddies. Unfortunately, we were different. He was comfortable with his body. I was always self conscious as I had gained a lot of weight in 5th grade. Even though I had gotten thin (grown into my weight) by 10th grade I still had a "fat" attitude and didnt like to be seen without my skin being covered. One time we were by ourselves in the play areas of the basement. he got into his underwear and wanted me to do the same and play on a bar. I was too shy to tell him why I didnt want to. he was cute, had larger lips than mine. For some reason I always admired his lips. After 10th grade we both moved to different places. I only saw him twice after that, the last for a moment at my dad's funeral. I have always felt sad that we, for some reason, didnt keep up with each others address. I learned about 10 years ago that he had died in New York state. This may seem strange, but I have never felt close to any other guys since like I did him. Even after 50 years I still think about him and wish that I could have overcome my intimitaded feelings of being seen without my shirt by him and joined him playing on the bar.

Reading the story about Stephen let me write this. I would recommend to Stephen's friend. Try to find him and at least let him know u appreciated the friendship u enjoyed at the time it occurred. Both of u deserve closure on ur friendship. Something I havnt had the pleasure of doing.

Steve in Macon, Ga

Bill Weintraub

Re: My best friend


Hey Steve

Thank you for this very moving and poignant memoir.

Guys, "the story about Stephen" Steve refers to is beatific, which is Luke Shelton's story;

and Steve, as it happens, Luke did re-find Stephen.

I don't know where they stand today because I haven't heard from Luke in a number of years.

But Luke did find him.

Now, regarding Steve and Dennis, going back 50 years takes us to 1957, at the height of our heterosexualized society's heterosexist cold-war McCarthyite homophobia, so it's understandable that Steve was reluctant to get into his underwear with another boy.

Yet, as we can see in the pix in first time-frot wrestle, just a few years earlier literally millions of American men in the armed services were hanging out with each other shirtless, or in their underwear, or even nude -- and no one thought a thing of it.

So what we can see is that the cultural constructs which bind us can be really arbitrary.

And at the same time, incredibly destructive.


This may seem strange, but I have never felt close to any other guys since like I did him.

It's not strange at all.

It's the reality of adolescence and what guys need.

Even after 50 years I still think about him and wish that I could have overcome my intimidated feelings of being seen without my shirt by him and joined him playing on the bar.

Many -- probably most -- of us have had similar experiences and can say the same.

And we need to be very clear that when our heterosexualized society does not permit guys to have these crucial experiences -- the results are devastating.

This is from my foreign friend -- I've posted this before, but his words bear repeating:

The role of male bonds in developing natural masculinity

Men are endowed with a 'seed' of natural masculinity which needs a conducive, supportive social environment to develop / grow to its full potential.

Natural masculinity is defined simply as the feeling or inner sense of being a man.

If a positive social environment is denied to a man, or if it is hostile, the natural masculinity will not grow to its full potential. Rather it could be seriously throttled or suppressed.

Masculine male groups and bonds play an extremely important role in the development of physical, mental, emotional and social aspects of natural masculinity. As such they are an important part of the positive environment that all boys should have. An otherwise masculine identified man who is deprived of membership in a masculine male group / bond during his growing years will be less than 1/4th naturally masculine than if he had such an opportunity. Masculine identified boys have a natural tendency to seek to join male-only groups, and it's their natural right.

The masculinity of men flows from their group. It's like their natural masculinity combines and gets manifold when masculine identified men unite. The camaraderie, mutual understanding, support, playing together, learning the ways of the world as a male, dealing with roughs and toughs of life together --- they all help to develop the natural masculinity that exists within him.

An intimate sexual relationship between two masculine men is equally important for the mutual development of their natural masculinity.

The social classification of "sexual orientation" which is actually a social mechanism to isolate male-male sexual behavior from heterosexual spaces and group it with the third sex under a combined 'homosexual' label, takes away this much needed right from a masculine identified boy who is strongly in touch with his same-sex feelings.

The heterosexual society has artificially engineered such a strong hostility for same-sex desires in the straight space that such a boy will automatically psychologically keep out of this group. He may linger on the margins of this space by hiding and suppressing his feelings, which is very stressful.

Thus, in effect, he will not get the chance to hang around with the guys as an 'equal', to play sports with them, to grow with them like normal boys should. Thus he will not know how to relate with masculine men --- or how to relate with others as a masculine man. He will have an underdeveloped masculinity --- something which in nature he is entitled to.

Just like association with masculine identified males is essential for a masculine identified male, and enhances his natural masculinity several times, association with feminized males can seriously deplete his natural masculinity, even pave the way for an unnatural development and effeminacy.

Thus when a masculine identified young man associates himself with the gay group --- psychologically made to believe he is one of them --- he will find himself a misfit in the strongly third-sex gay culture. But since there is no other social space for him, he will force himself to relate with the gays.

The entire experience will subdue his natural masculinity and make him more effeminate. Although he will still be 'macho', compared to the real gays.

But such a masculine identified 'gay' identified man will just become a vulnerable, unsure and maladjusted man --- a description often used for non-feminine gay men whose masculinity is suppressed.

Negative role of masculine male groups

It must be emphasized that even though in natural conditions masculine male groups are extremely helpful for masculine identified men, because of a lot of social manipulation, and unless guided in the positive direction, they can develop a man's masculinity in the negative direction -- which is destructive for the self and others. It can also harm the individual by making him suppress his same-sex needs which are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity.

A masculine man, who was deprived of the opportunity to develop his natural masculinity as a boy, can really benefit from a deep, intimate, preferably sexual relationship with a 'masculine' man who did have such an opportunity. As that intimacy helps his masculinity grow now, as well as it 'rubs off' some of the masculinity that the partner gathered from his group experiences.

[emphasis mine]

So guys need the freedom to be with other guys.

And a guy also needs the freedom to be sexual with another guy.

Not anally -- because that's an unnatural and unmanly act.

But phallically -- in a way which for both guys celebrates and exalts their mutual manhood -- and which sacralizes male sex.

"Sacralizes" = makes sacred.

In beatific, Luke said very specifically that "what Stephen and I were doing was, in its way, sacramental to us."

It was a sacrament -- Frot, a Holy Sacrament.

Just as Masculinity is a Divine Principle and Manhood a Divine Gift, so Frot is a Holy Sacrament.

I speak of "Sacred Phallic Love" -- and I mean it.

Because either the sex expresses and symbolizes something -- Love -- which is sacred between these two men and which is made manifest in their shared manhood and in the free mingling of their semen which Don Frazer has so often spoken of --

or it's profane.

And if it's profane it swiftly becomes profanity -- which we see all around us.

We see a society inundated by and drowning in sleaze.

Yet the only voices raised against that are those of the hypocritical body-haters.

Who are exploiting a form of "Christianity" for political and monetary gain.

So there have to be voices raised which speak not just to the necessary but to the sacred nature of the Love of Man for Man.

Robert Loring in the bludgeoned message thread:

Some of us have had enough of modern Western culture and we try to find ways NOT to be a part of it. We spend as much time as possible AWAY from the psychotic culture out in the wilderness somewhere where we can still find a sense of natural manhood, peace, and joy, and YES, even LOVE. We await the fall of Western society (and it is falling) and the return to the natural, historical, and traditional NORMS! We await the return of a culture in which males are free to love other males and in which homophobia is no longer known, praised, or worshipped. We see clearly how natural human culture has been destroyed in the West and we await the resurrection of natural human culture as it was intended by the Divine to be. In short, we await a return to the old ways and ancient culture and the rebirth of the brotherhood of man.

That's right -- the rebirth of the brotherhood of man.

Robert also said this -- in A toast to all Frot-brothers:

Maybe one day what has been traditionally and historically masculine MALE will become so AGAIN. Maybe some day the world will once again come to know and understand that FROT is NOT SODOMY but that it IS NORMAL masculine male behavior!! Maybe one day INTIMACY between males will NOT be looked down upon as "wrong and sinful" but as a BLESSING because it IS a BLESSING! A purely NATURAL and MALE blessing!! And maybe, just maybe, one day someone will found a SPIRITUAL MOVEMENT that supports and advocates all this (God knows we DON'T need another religion!) OR is that what we have here already??

Yes -- in my view we do.

If we will have the courage of our convictions.


I've learned from you that in the world of the Greeks, and other ancient warrior societies, they pretty much felt the same way about what made them men--sexuality, spirituality, masculinity--as you do. The way to be forsaken in their world was to deny that.


In the past, it was "normative," it was the norm, it was normal for men to combine and interconnect sexuality, spirituality, and masculinity in their lives.

Men who denied that connection were -- in Frances' word -- "forsaken."

They did themselves spiritual injury.

And often, they were cut off from their community.

Whereas those who celebrated those values -- were supported and cherished by their fellow MEN.

In the Alliance we've presented three values as core to the Warrior's -- that is the Man's -- existence:




The consistent honoring and practice -- that is, living out -- of these three values will have the effect of "re-sacralizing" -- MAKING SACRED AGAIN -- sex between Loving Men and the bond that sex expresses.

The alternative is for men to stay in a heterosexist world in which the sacred bonds between men are denied; and/or an analist world in which an unholy and demeaning act practiced promiscuously denigrates and devalues that which should be sacred -- Masculinity.

And we can see very plainly with males like Mark Foley and Ted Haggard what happens to those who chose analism and heterosexism and "religious" chicanery over Truth.

Their lives are nothing but hypocrisy and lies.

And ultimately they're caught up in those lies and betrayed by them.

No good.







Guys, when we read a story like Steve's, we're brought face to face with the terrible losses engendered by the terrible lies told about Men and Masculinity.

I ask you to resist those lies.

I ask you to FIGHT BACK.

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2007 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.

Robert Loring

Re: My best friend.


I think we all have stories of missed opportunities in our lives to frot. Whatever the reason was, we missed the opportunity and we can't go back and change it. However, we can make the most of the present and not miss the opportunity to share the sacredness of M2M love again.

Men used to hang out shirtless, in their underwear, and even nude with each other just as Bill says above. And, no one thought anything about it because it was considered normal masculine behavior. But, all that changed as males had shame and fear forced down their throats in the form of homophobia. We can thank the "body haters" for that and we can thank the false form of Christianity today which is bent on political and monetary gain. What needs to be realized in these matters, however, is that what is pawned off as Christianity today, for the most part, is NOT Christianity! Most of those males hanging around nude, shirtless, and in their underwear with other males were Christian males!! In all the photos we see from WWII in which we see male soldiers hugging each other, etc., most of those male soldiers were Christians or had been raised in Christian families with Christian values! There was nothing "evil" or "sinful" with males being together in the nude, shirtless, or in their underwear. In fact, it was NORMAL MALE BEHAVIOR and NORMAL CHRISTIAN MALE BEHAVIOR.

Society today has not only lost NATURAL MALE MASCULINITY but it has also lost REAL CHRSITIANITY that is NOT what it is being pawned off as TODAY!!

Sir Robert

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