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Defeated in their own minds
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Defeated in their own minds
Defeated in their own minds
1-30-2006
"Defeated in their own minds" is a concept introduced by Robert Loring in his brilliant reply to the Procrustean message thread on this board:
Men who ARE independent and manly ARE constantly attacked because we refuse to be politically correct and stuff ourselves into the societal and religious GARBAGE CANS of modern society. We can wimp-out OR we can FIGHT BACK! Those who are already defeated in their own minds wimp-out. Those who are real WARRIORS FIGHT BACK!
[emphasis mine]
This is a really important concept and one I want to stay with for a while.
Because as a gay activist, one of the most important questions I've faced throughout my life is "Why won't guys participate?"
I'll talk about how this played out in the 70s.
For now, in the Frot Movement, what we've asked people to do --
Put a link to this site -- www.Man2ManAlliance.org/ -- on every online profile you have and anywhere else appropriate on the web;
Come out to your family and friends as a man into Frot;
Participate in the Regional Chapters
There's not one of you who can't afford $5 a month.
Yet I actually have guys say to me, "I'm strapped."
C'mon -- how strapped can you be?
I also have guys who send the occasional $5 and claim they're making a huge sacrifice.
Until I find out they're single men who make in the six figures.
It's appalling.
Now of course if all you can afford is $5 every other month -- that's fine.
But you need to send something.
Most of the men using this site are gay men who are financially very comfortable.
And who very often are maintaining memberships in analist sites like gay dot com or bel-ami because they want to "hook-up."
Again: it's appalling.
Put a link to this site -- www.Man2ManAlliance.org/ -- on every online profile you have and anywhere else appropriate on the web.
This one's free isn't it?
Doesn't cost a dime.
And both incredibly simple and incredibly important.
Come out to your family and friends as a man into Frot;
Also free.
And very rewarding, as we can see in posts like Griffin's Feeling Great and Kevin's No More Fear.
Participate in the Regional Chapters
Simple and easy.
Yet Beagle Jones up in Portland couldn't persuade even one guy to to take part in even one event -- for example lunch with the local baseball team.
Now, as I said, I've seen this in play since the 1970s.
In the 70s, what activists like myself wanted was for guys to come out and of course support their local and national gay organizations.
The vast majority of gay men wouldn't do it.
Why not?
Because they were "defeated in their own minds."
Most of them still believed that homosexuality was a mental illness (even though the American Psychiatric Association had dropped homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses in 1973);
and that homosexuals were doomed to lives of unhappiness.
And of course, believing what they did, they also thought it was futile to try to change public opinion.
These sorts of beliefs are examples of what I call "cultural inertia," which I discuss on the Regional Chapters page.
And which I encourage you to look at.
In short, however, the beliefs that defeat people are out-of-date and demonstrably false, but they're very difficult to dislodge.
What beliefs are defeating present-day guys into Frot?
Like those which defeated gay men in the 70s, they're all shibboleths.
Most gay-identified men into Frot still believe that Frot is an inferior form of sex, possibly a fetish, and that their inability to adapt to anal means that they're maladjusted.
This is exactly what gay men in the 70s believed about homosexuality in general: that it was inferior to heterosex, that it was fetishistic, and that their inability to adapt to vaginal meant they were maladjusted.
Further, most gay-identified men into Frot believe that anal has always and will always rule the roost in gay male life.
And that the public will never accept Frot.
Again, this is exactly what gay men believed in the 70s about heterosex: that homosexuality would never be considered its equal.
And that the public would NEVER ACCEPT openly gay people.
Those 1970s gay men were WRONG.
Just as our gay-identified Frot men today are wrong.
And they're just as defeated in their own minds.
Similarly, the bulk of the straight-identified Frot guys still believe that they're odd and strange because they enjoy sex with another guy.
They too are defeated in their own minds.
What's to be done?
After the end of slavery, the great African-American abolitionist Frederick Douglass was approached by a young Black man who asked him, "What need we do now to improve the condition of Black people?"
His answer:
AGITATE.
That's what we too must do.
Continue to, as forcefully as we can, tell guys the truth:
And make sure that we reach as many men with that message as we can.
That's the ONLY way to improve your situation.
I don't care how tired you get of my asking for donations.
Because we must reach more men.
Once we have Regional Chapters, we can use those as a base for effective political action, such as picketing.
There are any number of terrific targets out there, and picketing them would give us press.
However, in order to do that we need a significant number of guys willing to participate -- ideally 10 to 20.
Can't be done with three -- then you look like Fred Phelps.
We have to demonstrate that this is a genuine, passionate, grassroots movement.
Which it is.
So: Those of you who won't help are indeed defeated in your own minds.
Problem is that you're dragging everyone else down to defeat with you.
That's a terrible responsibility.
I saw it in action with the first wave of HIV infection.
The guys who wouldn't come out and wouldn't get involved with their local and national organizations, were responsible for the political weakness in the gay community which made it possible for "leaders" like Ronald Reagan and Ed Koch to ignore the epidemic.
Those who were "defeated in their own minds" thus helped enable the deaths not only of themselves, but of almost all the activists who'd tried to help them.
If you don't want to see something like that -- or worse -- again, you need to challenge the lies that are defeating YOU.
And you need to do it NOW.
FIGHT BACK
SAVE YOUR LIFE
If you are waiting for the BFD or the church to give you an invitation you'll literally be waiting until hell freezes over!
-- couldn't be easier or simpler.
© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.
I said you need to challenge the lies that are defeating YOU.
Let's look at those lies exactly and precisely.
FROT IS MORE PLEASURABLE, LOWER RISK, AND MORE MASCULINE THAN ANY OTHER FORM OF M2M SEX.
BY ANY OBJECTIVE MEASURE --
PLEASURE
RISK
EQUALITY
MASCULINITY
-- FROT IS SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHER FORMS OF M2M.
A fetish is an obsessive sexual interest in a NON-GENITAL body part or in a nonhuman material such as latex.
FROT IS PURE GENITAL-GENITAL SEX.
FROT DEFINES GENITAL-GENITAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE BETWEEN MEN.
ANAL IS A FETISH.
IT'S AN OBSESSIVE SEXUAL INTEREST IN THE ANUS AND RECTUM, TWO NON-GENITAL BODY PARTS.
Anal penetration is DIRTY, DANGEROUS, AND DEGRADING.
The Surgeon General of the United States has said: "Anal is just too risky to practice."
YOUR REFUSAL TO DO ANAL IS REASONABLE, RATIONAL, AND HEALTHY.
Prior to the 1970s, ORAL, FROT, AND MUTUAL JO PREDOMINATED.
ANAL WAS A DENIGRATED AND FRINGE PRACTICE.
MEN INTO ANAL WERE CALLED "BROWNIE QUEENS."
ONCE THE PUBLIC UNDERSTANDS WHAT FROT IS AND WHAT THE FROT MOVEMENT STANDS FOR, THE PUBLIC WILL EMBRACE FROT and FROT MEN.
BECAUSE FROT IS THE BETTER WAY TO GO.
GUYS HAVE SEX WITH GUYS.
MEN HAVE SEX WITH MEN.
ALWAYS HAVE.
ALWAYS WILL.
MEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN ARE MEN.
IT'S NORMAL AND NATURAL FOR MEN TO HAVE SEX WITH MEN.
SEX BETWEEN MEN IS NATURAL AND NORMAL.
AND THE MOST NATURAL FORM OF SEX BETWEEN MEN IS FROT.
© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.
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