Bill Weintraub

Re: honor and integrity

5-8-2006

Thanks JM.

Great post about a lot of serious issues.

Guys, I want to take a look at JM's post.

I've written to JM about this privately, but there's stuff in his post which obviously reflects the lives of many men -- not just him.

So let's take a look:

Ahhhh. Finally it all came together for me man.

Good -- that's great -- that's why we're here.

I really appreciate running into your site I mean here is just a little bit of what I have been thinking the past coupla years.

I was never comfortable with the gay guys that I know... I mean like I wasn;t like them.

Right.

Whether we identify as gay, bi, or straight, that's how most of us in the Alliance feel.

We don't fit into to mainstream gay culture, which is built around anal, promiscuity, and effeminacy, and which we call analism.

But at the same time I know that Im not like my boys here in the city.

JM, I understand why you feel that way, but:

Fact is, you're probably a LOT more like them than you understand at this point.

JM, you're just not the only guy who feels the way you do.

ANd I cant figure out why I feel more comfortable with my straight buddies than with other people especially that they are all street dudes... I don't think I know anyone who doesnt have at least one felony charge... I mean here I am a middle class white dude with a college education hangin out with city street dudes.... but I told my wife that I always found more honesty and integrity and honor among my buddies that I did with my middle class neighbors.

Yes, and that may be.

I mean me and my buddies all watch eeach others backs and they would firggin take a lot of physical abuse to protect me and I would do the same for them... I mean I have and they have in certain circumstances.

I understand -- and that's great!

But then the past year I been thinkin that I really am gay and that I have just been lieing to them and to myself and the real reason that I like hangin out is not because of honor and integrity

No.

Honor and integrity count.

That those are important to you speaks well of you -- and your buds.

but because it is a "safe" excuse for male-to-male contact and an avoidence of the reality that I am gay.

First of all, JM, virtually all guys need and seek male-to-male contact.

That's part of being a man.

Men need to be around other men.

Your buddies need it just as much as you do.

and an avoidence of the reality that I am gay.

Are you "gay"?

Bi?

How important is that label?

What we say in the Alliance is that labels are meaningless.

And they are.

Guys are attracted to other guys.

Guys have sex with guys.

Men have sex with Men.

Always have, always will.

The division of all men into gay and straight is very recent -- and it's NOT valid.

It's NATURAL and NORMAL for guys to be attracted to guys.

It's NATURAL and NORMAL for guys to have sex with guys.

And the NATURAL way for two guys to get it on is FROT: cock2cock, dick2dick, cockrub, bone on bone -- FROT.

That's what GUYS do.

But your site has brought a new perspective for me. I mean I don;t identify with the feminism in the gay culture...

Right.

No reasonable man does.

Just like no reasonable man is going to let someone fuck him up the ass.

That's not safe, it's not smart, it's not sex, and it's NOT HONORABLE.

and I like the fact that I am big and muscular and I like being a friggin masculine man. And I like hanging wit my buddies and dont have to have sex with them

Right.

although at times it would be cool....

That's right -- it would be cool.

For you and for the other guy.

For BOTH of you.

but I know they are not there

No JM you don't know that.

You're assuming that you're the only man who feels the way you do.

You're not.

Lotsa guys feel just like you do.

Including, I guarantee you, more than a few of the men you're hangin with.

You need to look at Sensei Patrick's writing -- start with this one: A Straight Man's Epiphany

and the point is that they are honorable and true-blue and thats more important to me than anything else.

Yes, that's important.

Anyway... again your site has helped me a lot cause I really identify with it and I wasn;t able to articulate that myself. Fuck it man... so I like Kickboxing and Jujitsu....whats so wrong with that? Nothing! Not that Im good at it but I love the competition and the sport and the war of it all and fuck if I get a bloddy nose... nothin wrong with it at all.

That's right -- nothing wrong with it at all.

VEry cool and Im lookin forward to considering your "points" and "opinions" and "views" and even more lookin forward to hangin out with some likeminded man who is tough enough to give me a good fight both pysically and sexually. Thanks for helpin me to "solidify" my true feelings about these matters.

You're welcome man.

Again, that's why we're here.

We're a social ministry, and our mission is to help men like yourself.

Thanks again JM.

Guys, I had to write this in a hurry because once again we're in a funding crisis.

That's because you don't donate.

Do you care about a guy like JM?

If you do, DONATE -- so he has a place to go where he can be himself.

And work through some of these issues.

Which are very complex and to him very complicated.

If you don't care about guys like JM -- FUCK YOU AND GET OFF THE SITE.

You're not a man and you're not a warrior.

You're nothing.

I'm sick of you and so are most of the other guys who support the site.

DONATE -- or leave.

And acknowledge the truth about yourself.

That you're not a man and will never MERIT a MAN's life.

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved