Bill Weintraub

Re: The Hero in Your Soul

2-7-2005

Thank you Joel.

In vol 3 of his comprehensive summary of the world's mythologies, The Masks of God: Occidental Mythology, the secular mythographer Joseph Campbell writes of how the medieval troubador/poets used the Grail myth to express the ideal of Romantic Love.

The most important of their poems is without doubt Wolfram von Eschenbach's Parzival, which I've mentioned on this board before.

Here's how Campbell characterizes its eponymous hero:

The Grail Hero -- particularly in the person of ... Parzival, the "Great Fool" -- is the forthright, simple, uncorrupted, noble son of nature, without guile, strong in the purity of the yearning of his heart ... a living, questing man of deeds, gifted with the paired virtues of courage and compassion...

and, adds Campbell, loyalty.

In writing about cockrub, I have, from the beginning, emphasized its naturalness, its simplicity and purity, its innocence and joy.

Which is one reason why you must not corrupt it through promiscuity or group sex.

Of course the history of the human race is one long tale of corruption and fall.

Nevertheless, as human beings we choose what role we play.

Which is why I say, somewhat prosaically, in Frot Club, that if you choose promiscuity "Frot will lose its innocence and joy and become yet another vector for disease."

Of course I'm speaking here not merely of disease physical but of moral and spiritual as well.

If you choose the opposite, if you "go for quality not quantity, and find your Heroic Friend," you take the opposite role.

Because redemption is always a possibility too.

Now, Joel writes:

.some of the warriors on this site participate actively in the warrior spirit by engaging in combat sports...that brings the full body experience to the fore...

Guys, for those of you who are physically able, it's very important to have that "full body experience."

Very important.

There's no substitute for it.

We saw in Oscar's post I HAD TO KICK SOME BUTTF***R ASS...LITERALLY that there's a very great real-world value to knowing how to defend yourself.

There's also an enormous psychological value.

Because it allows and enables you to confront your fears.

During my initial martial arts training, I was told to choose one of the higher ranking students as my personal instructor.

That's pretty common in martial arts schools, where an apprentice system usually prevails.

The guy I selected was a straight-identified working class man who, in my estimation, came closest to fitting the profile of a gay-basher in that particular school.

I did that so that I could directly confront and overcome my fear of that sort of guy.

And it worked.

In training with him I hit him and he hit me -- and I learned *in my body* that I could take a punch from a guy like that -- and he did not pull his punches -- and that I could punch back, and effectively.

Because that's what they teach you to do.

Like I say, there's NO SUBSTITUTE for that sort of experience.

If, however, for whatever reason, you feel that you couldn't handle a martial art, you might look for a gay-oriented but non-sexual wrestling club, which are becoming more and more common, in your city.

Or you can take private boxing lessons.

But as I've made clear, I like martial arts -- it's a group experience which is at once hierarchic and democratic and merit-based -- and even if you're older and/or out-of-shape, most schools will respect you and work with you.

Joel also said:

and men can take the real-time roles of Gilgamesh and Enkidu in an epic struggle...forming a lasting relationship...

That's right.

But you can't do that by going to JO parties or jerking off on the net.

You have be out in the world among *like-minded* men.

Joel in Boston and Beagle in Portland are in the process of putting together real-time regional *non-sexual* Frot Men chapters.

Thus giving you one of the best chances you'll ever have to find your Heroic Friend and forge that lasting relationship.

Of course getting involved with Frot Men real-time will be work and might not pay off in the short run.

But whoever told you life is easy?

Your other option, as always, is to do nothing -- and have nothing change.

Think about it:

Instead of going to the gym three nights a week, you could train in a martial art two nights and hang with your fellow Frot Men one night per week.

Which still leaves you four nights to lift weights if you're so disposed.

The religious right and the analist left are formidable foes -- not unbeatable, but considerable.

But you must also face the enemy within: your own fears and hesitations.

All humanity's sages and philosophers and myth-givers agree on that.

Yet you cannot deal with your inner demons in a purely internal process.

At some point, you have to get out in the world.

As Beagle quoted in a recent email:

"Life demands again and again the courage to surrender some or even all security for the sake of full self-affirmation." -- Paul Tillich, The Courage to Be