Bill Weintraub:

Let's take a closer look:

The role of male bonds in developing natural masculinity

Masculine identified men are endowed with a 'seed' of natural masculinity which needs a conducive, supportive social environment to develop / grow to its full potential.

Certainly a supportive social environment is necessary.

Natural masculinity is defined simply as the feeling or inner sense of being a man.

That's fine as far as it goes.

But it doesn't mention the relationship between masculinity and male biology.

We define masculinity as follows -- and I'm using red type just for clarity:

A complex of behaviors which are characteristic of and natural to a man, and the direct result of male biology.

Men are by nature active and aggressive, and a man naturally expresses his sexuality through the thrusting of his erect penis -- his phallus.

Male sexuality then is expressed phallically.

Not anally.

Being penetrated anally has never been natural or appropriate to a man and never will be.

Again: Masculinity is that which is natural to a man.

Male sexuality is expressed phallically, in the way which is natural to a man.

Thus our Man2Man Alliance formulation:

I think the link we make between Masculinity and Manhood is vital.

And I think it's a universal among Men.

Just as that is a universal among men, so is the need to relate to another Masculine Man -- MANHOOD TO MANHOOD.

That's why we say, in our definition of Natural Masculinity:

The expression of same-sex needs is critical to the development of natural masculinity.

When, as happens under heterosexualization, those same-sex needs are suppressed and / or shunted off into an effeminized analist ghetto, immense damage is done to the man's natural masculinity.

Which is why I've made this formulation:

Now guys, I want to make clear that my foreign friend believes that some males are by nature feminine.

And that's where we part company.

In my view, Men are by nature Masculine.

And I think that view is shared by most of the men who participate in the Alliance.

They don't view effeminacy as natural.

They view it as learned.

But in *this* letter, my foreign friend is talking about men who are by nature masculine.

Which again, in my view, is all men.

Because masculinity is first and foremost a function of biology.

If a positive social environment is denied to a man, or if it is hostile, the natural masculinity will not grow to its full potential. Rather it could be seriously throttled or suppressed.

Masculine male groups and bonds play an extremely important role in the development of physical, mental, emotional and social aspects of natural masculinity. As such they are an important part of the positive environment that all masculine identified boys should have. An otherwise masculine identified man who is deprived of membership in a masculine male group / bond during his growing years will be less than 1/4th naturally masculine than if he had such an opportunity. Masculine identified boys have a natural tendency to seek to join male-only groups, and it's their natural right.

The masculinity of men flows from their group. It's like their natural masculinity combines and gets manifold when masculine identified men unite. The camaraderie, mutual understanding, support, playing together, learning the ways of the world as a male, dealing with roughs and toughs of life together --- they all help to develop the natural masculinity that exists within him.

We've often spoken of this in the Alliance.

Without question, just as there's a synergy when phallus is placed against phallus, so is there a synergy when men are among men.

As my foreign friend says, and I think it's beautifully said, "It's like their natural masculinity combines and gets manifold when masculine identified men unite. The camaraderie, mutual understanding, support, playing together, learning the ways of the world as a male, dealing with roughs and toughs of life together --- they all help to develop the natural masculinity that exists within him."

In the Alliance we talk about natural male sex aggression.

And we need to be clear that the synergy which my friend describes among masculine men in a group is sexually based -- indeed based on testosterone.

Men in groups act in ways which heighten their testosterone.

Which in turn heightens the sexual energy between and among them.

An intimate sexual relationship between two masculine men is equally helpful for the mutual development of their natural masculinity.

Yes.

And probably the best evocation of that on this site is Luke Shelton's Beatific.

The social classification of "sexual orientation" which is actually a social mechanism to isolate male-male sexual behavior from heterosexual spaces and group it with the third sex under a combined 'homosexual' label, takes away this much needed right from a masculine identified boy who is strongly in touch with his same-sex feelings.

The heterosexual society has artificially engineered such a strong hostility for same-sex desires in the straight space that such a boy will automatically psychologically keep out of this group. He may linger on the margins of this space by hiding and suppressing his feelings, which is very stressful.

Thus, in effect, he will not get the chance to hang around with the guys as an 'equal', to play sports with them, to grow with them like normal boys should. Thus he will not know how to relate with masculine men --- or how to relate with others as a masculine man. He will have an underdeveloped masculinity --- something which in nature he is entitled to.

This is absolutely true; and it's what Naked Wrestler refers to as the "fag sports thing":

Teenaged boys who are masculine and want to participate in sports, but who are "strongly in touch with their same-sex feelings," hang back from participation for fear that an erection will give them away and expose them as "gay."

In reality, teenagers get erections all the time, and guys understand that.

But to a kid who has strong same-sex feelings, the erection seems like a potential betrayer, and so he hides and suppresses his feelings.

And very often isolates himself from other masculine males.

Not good.

Just like association with masculine identified males is essential for a masculine identified male, and enhances his natural masculinity several times, association with feminized males can seriously deplete his natural masculinity, even pave the way for an unnatural development and effeminacy.

Thus when a masculine identified young man associates himself with the gay group --- psychologically made to believe he is one of them --- he will find himself a misfit in the strongly third-sex gay culture. But since there is no other social space for him, he will force himself to relate with the gays.

The entire experience will subdue his natural masculinity and make him more effeminate. Although he will still be 'macho', compared to the real gays.

Okay.

First of all, when my foreign friend says "real gays," he's referring to males in his own culture who are extremely effeminate and exclusively anally / orally receptive.

I don't know if he's traveled in the US or EU, but in my experience gay men in the West are far more diverse than the males he's referencing in his own culture.

I think he understands that.

But as you know, he also feels very strongly that masculine-identified men do not belong in the category "gay."

Further, here, as he did earlier, my foreign friend speaks of a "third-sex."

Is there a "third-sex"?

In my view no.

But there does exist a gay male subculture, which we refer to as analism, in which traditional and indeed masculine values of phallus, fidelity, and masculinity are turned on their head:

• Sex is anal, not phallic;

• Fidelity is eschewed, promiscuity pursued; and

• Effeminacy strongly supported.

And clearly there is an acculturation process in which masculine-identified guys who also identify as "gay" are encouraged and indeed pressured by their "gay peers" to take on the values of the subculture.

What's liberating about my foreign friend's view, I feel, is that he sees Masculinity as far more important than sexual orientation, which he regards as a false category invented by the forces of heterosexualization.

And he understands, as we do, that it's NATURAL and NORMAL for Masculine-identified Men to have sex with other Masculine-identified Men.

And indeed, for those Men to seek emotionally and sexually exclusive bonds with each other.

So he understands that Warrior pair-bonding is Natural; and an essential part of Natural Masculinity.

That's crucial.

And for those who missed it, we discuss this at more length in the message thread titled THE POWER OF THE MASCULINE.

But such a masculine identified 'gay' identified man will just become a vulnerable, unsure and maladjusted man --- commonly known as "nice guy" --- a description often used for non-feminine gay men whose masculinity is suppressed.

Again, I don't think this is true in American culture.

A "nice guy" can also be masculine.

Negative role of masculine male groups

It must be emphasized that even though in natural conditions masculine male groups are extremely helpful for masculine identified men, because of a lot of social manipulation, and unless guided in the positive direction, they can develop a man's masculinity in the negative direction -- which is destructive for the self and others. It can also harm the individual by making him suppress his same-sex needs which are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity.

That's a really important statement:

Social or cultural masculinity -- a sort of false masculinity created by the forces of heterosexualization -- "can also harm the individual by making him suppress his same-sex needs which are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity."

So: "Same-sex needs are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity."

That's the TRUTH.

EROTIC BONDING BETWEEN WARRIORS IS ESSENTIAL TO MASCULINITY.

NATURAL MASCULINITY.

That's why, even in our fiercely heterosexualized and homophobic culture, soldiers feel such incredibly strong bonds with their fellows.

Because those bonds are an expression of their NATURAL MASCULINITY.

And there's no way for the military to get around that.

Men fight as a function of their Masculinity.

Men love other Men as a function of their Masculinity.

The two cannot be divided.

A masculine man, who was deprived of the opportunity to develop his natural masculinity as a boy, can really benefit from a deep, intimate, preferably sexual relationship with a 'masculine' man who did have such an opportunity. As that intimacy helps his masculinity grow now, as well as it 'rubs off' some of the masculinity that the partner gathered from his group experiences.

Right, and Robert Loring has described this process, in, I believe, both A Case of Rape and Brothers of the Heart.

I would add that for an adult male whose upbringing was deficient, or who isolated himself from other males when he was a teen, just hanging out with masculine-identified men can help masculinize him.

And conversely, the worst thing he can do, of course, is stay in the "gay space," where he'll be subject to constant feminizing influences and peer pressures.

Again, training in a martial art or some other fight sport can be very helpful.

And I strongly recommend it.

Training in a combat sport will give the male masculine self-confidence, and, ideally, will also provide him with a peer network of other fighters.

So even if you were deprived of masculinizing experiences as a boy, you can, if you make an effort, make up for that as an adult.

And it's important to do that.

The culture has Masculine Men in a bind.

By ghettoizing the expression of same-sex feelings, it forces some Men into a feminizing space while cutting off the rest from any acknowledgment of their need for other Men.

Not good.

We need to recognize that gay and straight are false categories, and that what unites us as MEN -- our Natural Masculinity -- is what truly matters.

And we need to be really clear about this statement:

"Same-sex needs are the basis of a man's natural positive masculinity."

To the extent that those needs are not recognized and or / denied, MEN will be forever deficient in the one thing they need most -- their NATURAL MASCULINITY.

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.