Gentle Warrior:
Having Sex
On My Terms



GentleWarrior: Having Sex On My Terms


Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

It has been a while since I've posted, but my erotic thoughts never stray far from cock to cock sex and I enjoy reading what the rest of you have to say very much. Recently, I had an interesting experience I thought I'd share. On the surface, I suppose it was a minor sexual adventure, but it resonates with me even now.

I've been having very little sex of late, and a lot of this is due to the fact that in San Francisco, there seems to be a focus on youth and unsafe sex. As a 46 year old man who favors romantic body contact and dick on dick rubbing, I don't really fit into this scene. But one Sunday morning, I met a man on-line who seemed interested in rubbing his cock against mine. I must add that he advertised himself as a "bottom," so I knew he also must like anal (or at least dominant guys), but I told him my interest was in massage and rubbing bodies together.

I went to his place and he pulled out a massage table and started to undress me. We hugged and rubbed our crotches together as we undressed ("This is what you like, huh?" he asked me with a smile!) Soon, I was naked on the table and he stood over me in only his bikini briefs, rubbing me with oil. It wasn't an expert massage, but it was a friendly one. At some point, he ended up on the table with me, his briefs off, and we were rubbing together. He didn't like kissing (his loss!), but he sure loved it when my cock rubbed against his cock, balls or ass. I was on top of him, grinding against him, and it occurred to me in passing that he has controlled this entire encounter.

Just then, he grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, and I must admit my cock throbbed at the thought of soaping each other up and slipping and sliding together. And that's just what we started to do....when, all of a sudden, the guy changed the deal completely by turning his back on me and impaling his ass on my throbbing cock.

Yeah, I guess there are aggressive bottoms and passive tops, but as he was moving against me and moaning I quickly got upset. We had sworn to each other we were HIV-negative and STD-free, and I was in the process of engaging in unprotected anal sex with a stranger. I had been there before, and it had led to months of worry for my health. (Nice, neurotic Jewish boy here!) For the first time in my sexual history, I decided to take control. I put my hands on his hips and stopped his gyrations. I said, "This isn't safe. I'm healthy. Tell me again that you're healthy." He nodded and said yes. "Good," I said. "But this isn't safe, so we're going to stop." I pulled my cock out and started soaping up. That act of responsibility must have turned my aggressions up, because I slammed into him and started to hump my cock against his, playing with his nipples and chest and growling my pleasure. He moaned back and we joined our hips together again and again, finally grabbing our cocks and jerking to a tremendous climax.

So now I know I have to get an HIV test again, and I worry about the results. That's just my nature. But I also learned that I CAN ask for - no, demand - what I want in a responsible, non-threatening way, even in the midst of passion. And that made me feel really good about myself.

Keep grinding, guys....passionately, romantically, in competitive fun and in friendship. Dick on dick is as masculine as it gets!!! And keep on sharing your stories with me and with each other. It feels so powerful not to be alone.




Re: Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

Right on mate !!

That is a vital posting. You are not alone ... reading your account has made me feel like I have back up when I reject the offer to fuck a guy I was enjoying rubbing cocks with. Especially if he tries to impose it. You dealt with it great. It's good to know.

And your nic is major horny ... grindonme :o)

All the best



Re: Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

Good for you Brad! There's nothing wrong with being assertive, especially when you're dealing with unsafe sex practices. What the hell is it going to take for these ass-fuckers to finally get the message. "ANAL SEX KILLS, ESPECIALLY BAREBACK!"

I find it mind boggling that in a passionate moment like your shower scene, the guy gives you his ass, WTF! What's going on in his mind? Why turn away from your lover passively, when you could be mouth to mouth, chest to chest, cock to cock. I'm no testosterone junky, but come on, I'd rather be facing my MAN in full contact. It's as simple as that.

And that was no "minor sexual adventure Brad", you connected with the other guy as MEN and you stood your ground, were true to yourself and your beliefs. You get two thumbs up from me dude! Further, you showed him what it feels like to be a MAN, not a "male pussy".

Final thought. Thanks Brad for sharing your experience. Like you, I really enjoy reading other guys thoughts and ideas. It helps and affirms that I'm not alone and that the message from "queer central" is all fucked up.



Bill Weintraub


Re: Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

Right on all three of you.

Brad quite rightly identifies a "focus" on unsafe (anal) sex that predominates in SF right now, and actually throughout the gay male world -- it's literally global.

That focus, which is in reality a collection of cultural messages coming from many disparate quarters, is what facilitated Brad's partner in acting so badly, endangering both himself and Brad.

You guys have it in your power to challenge those cultural messages by posting messages of your own, here on this board and in other places. And that's what makes me so angry and frustrated with so many of you -- because you don't act, either on the safety of this board or by doing a simple thing like emailing and asking them to do a page on frot.

Your inaction makes you in effect co-dependent with the dominant culture of anal sex, a culture which is diametrically opposed to your own interests.

It's difficult to imagine any of you behaving in such a self-defeating way in any other arena. For example, if given the choice between a credit card at 7% interest and one at 21%, you'd have no problem knowing what to do. But even hidden behind your internet pseudonyms, you won't talk about sex in a public place -- why? Because sex is the last great shibboleth? Beats me.

Instead you post these ridiculous ads for cockfights. And I ask again what I've asked before -- who wants to cockfight a man who doesn't have the balls to speak up in defense of his right to rub?

Not me.

Brad, Cockster, and David are three men who have reclaimed their masculinity and therefore their lives by the simple act of asserting themselves. It's really important for the rest of you to do that. Otherwise you'll go to your graves locked in the same well-appointed boxes in which you spent your lives.

And like the guy says, the grave's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace.

Ultimately Brad's post demonstrates the truly awesome power of self-assertion and masculinity. He asserts himself and he has really great sex. David says he's no testosterone junky and I understand what he means. But personally I love the stuff. When I was living on a horse ranch, we'd get geldings straight off the track who'd been injected with testosterone, and wow! those horses were hot. I fell in love with one for awhile -- no joke. And they weren't obnoxious either. Race horses can be pretty bad-tempered. But these guys weren't.

They were just very male.

If you're in this club I can almost guarantee that you've been robbed of your masculinity many times over. First when you were a kid figuring out you were "gay," then when you came out or were turned out and began to learn how "gay men" behave, and then when everyone you knew told you that the way you liked to have sex, which just happens to be the most masculine way on the planet anyone can have sex, was "vanilla."

So you have to reclaim your masculinity. You have to take it back. That means first of all posting here and elsewhere about your love of Frot.

Why first of all? Because dude, you have to love the way you make love, and be able to say so publicly, and not cower in a closet thinking that you suffer from a fetish.

It also means for many of you learning some karate or boxing or other self-defense skill. A not-so-negligible side effect: You'll be amazed at how "sexy" and desirable you'll suddenly become when your body language reflects the simple fact that you know how to give and take a punch. And how much more amenable your sexual partners will be to doing what you want to do -- not what they think you should be doing.

So the name of the club is Cockrub Warriors, not cockrub ninnies.

Cause as Brad just proved




Re: Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

Right on David. As usual, you insightfully manage to make the point with an economy of words. i.e.

"Why turn away....when you could be face to face, cock to cock, heart to heart?" says it all.

And Bill's previous post re "genital/genital" sex is an inherently logical challenge to the anal dominancy.

We are up against the intractable notion that men require some sort of "receptacle" for sexual coupling---a kinda "pussy" substitute.

Yet we know the real FREEDOM guys can experience in male genital union. Buddies can BOTH reach their orgasms naturally and directly through their genitals together, ejaculating freely without any restraint or containment.

Is there ANYTHING more quintessentially masculine than feeling your buddy's warm semen gush on your cock and belly while you ejaculate right in his climax?

Fully complete, male union at its BEST. Two guys, naturally being GUYS makes the homosexual experience SHARED.

Sure it's wet and messy, but it's fuckin' beautiful man.

No butts about it.


Bill Weintraub


Re: Gentle Warrior: Having sex on my terms

right don

you say, "We are up against the intractable notion that men require some sort of pussy substitute"

i would say it's a seemingly intractable notion -- it seems like it can't be changed

any tyranny, including a cultural tyranny, stays in power by projecting an aura of invincibility -- we can't be moved, so don't even try

and too by claiming that it speaks for the majority

but for all we know, men into frot and JO are the majority -- cause there's a huge number of bi and str8 men who won't go near anal, but will JO or rub with their budz

so gay may equal anal; but anal does NOT equal all men who have sex with men

and slowly guys into frot are beginning to realize that -- i know because i've been gettin emails saying "thanks for speaking up on behalf of a not-so-small minority"

so it's like i've said before -- this is not about gays -- this is about guys

we've had a really terrific explosion of posts on this board in the last two months

what we need now is an explosion of posts on other boards --,,,, and nongay sites as well

you guys can do it -- you can overthrow the buttfuck dictatorship -- if you try

there's nothing faggier than sittin around sayin "it can't be done"

and there's nothing more masculine than just going out and doing it



Think about Mark Bingham and his buds for a moment. The hijackers controlled the plane. There were at least four of them. They had weapons, and they were trained -- had had years of training. Mark could have stayed in his seat in despair saying it can't be done. And there would now be a big hole where the Capitol and the Congress once was. The government would have been crippled. And there would be a lot more dead.

Mark didn't let that happen. He acted.

You can too.


You can read more of Gentle Warrior Brad's autobiography in Learning to be a Cockrub Warrior.


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