Bill Weintraub

Re: Question

11-11-2003

hi randy

the first thing to remember about your friend is that he almost certainly has same-sex needs and desires

so he's not straight in the sense of being exclusively heterosexual

he appears to be straight because he has a very strong erotic interest in women -- which is real, not fake

but being straight in that sense does not preclude having an erotic interest in men

we know from both anthropology and history that in societies which lack a divine prohibition against same-sex eroticism, most men -- indeed most people -- are bisexual

but in our society, because gay and straight are assumed to be mutually exclusive, men can and do use their genuine interest in women to hide their erotic interests in other men

so if you can approach your friend not as a straight man, but as a guy who, like other guys, has sexual needs and feelings, and if you can see him that way, you've made a start

of course, even accepting that he has same-sex feelings, he may not have them towards you

but your description of his conduct with you suggests that he certainly likes you

what you need to do then is structure time with him in which you're alone together and during which you might have the opportunity to bring up with him how you feel

to explain to him that you don't do anal sex, that you feel no connection to the gay community as it's commonly depicted

and that you're into frot

and explain what frot is, and how good it feels, and how hot it is for the guys doing it

and introduce him to the idea of phallic bonding, of bonding by holding your hard dicks together

those are powerful images and ideas for men

and they will be for your buddy too

it may take awhile -- he may need to think about what you've said for awhile before he feels ready to act in any way

if you think it's right for him, at some point you can refer him to the website and to posts from straight-identified guys like Beatific

and the hardest i've ever been

and of course all of Sensei Patrick's material:

Ask Sensei Patrick

A Straight Man's Epiphany

The Inquisitor

Wrestling Around With My Budz

all that will help him and give him a context

and basically he'll either respond to the pix of cock2cock on the site and on those pages -- or he won't

most guys do

that said, i was a little reluctant to let your post go up because, although i know that's not where you're coming from, in the past, those sorts of posts have elicited essays on how to seduce straight guys

we don't support seduction in any form on the site

and the last thing a straight guy coming onto the site wants to see is posts from gay men boasting about how they've "had" str8 guys

but we haven't gotten any posts like that so far, and maybe guys are beginning to get the message that this isn't about gay and straight

or about collecting sexual scalps

it's about guys being kind and loving and bonding with other guys