Reply from:

Bill Weintraub

Re: to feel my Manhood against his

11-10-2010

Hey AJ,

Thank you for writing to me and for your kind words about my work and our sites.

I'm glad they've resonated and been meaningful for you.

Let's take a look:

What can I say, thank Ares for your site?

Yes, you can say that, and it's a good thing to say.

Because Ares is the God of Manhood and the Divine Guardian of the Warrior Spirit -- Fighting Spirit, which is the Hallmark of Masculinity.

And that's what our sites and our Alliance are about:

Masculinity, Manhood, and Fighting Spirit:

Expressed physically through Frot -- the uniquely male act of Phallic Bonding;

Expressed emotionally through the Warrior Bond; and

Expressed spiritually through our recognition that Masculinity is a Divine Principle and Manhood a Divine Gift -- and for those who are ready and who so choose, Worship of the Warrior God Himself.

Been an amazing time finding it and exploring what thought was just my own 'kink'

Okay.

As I'm sure you understand, AJ, we never use words like kink;

or fetish;

to refer to Frot --

which is directly and mutually genital male-male sex.

As such, Frot is the only true sex available to "Men who have sex with Men."

I say 'kink' as that's the way I've been made to feel about it.

Yes, again, I understand, but those who've pressured and coerced you about that word are dead wrong and should be corrected.

Severely corrected and as follows:

Anal is kink; anal is a fetish.

Frot is not.

As a married man, all be it one that has had homosexual

Okay.

AJ, of course I understand what you mean by the word "homosexual", but again that's a word we now avoid.

It's a 19th-century word and label laden with negative value judgements about Man2Man.

So -- same-sex, male-male, or Man2Man are the terms we encourage our guys to use.

They're accurate and descriptive, as is male-female.

And in that regard, AJ, it's very important for your sake that you read this core article:

Sex Between Men: An Activity, Not a Condition.

Very important.

Please be sure to ck it out:

Sex Between Men: An Activity, Not a Condition.

encounters, I've found myself finding relief via oral

Okay.

I don't recommend oral for anyone, but particularly not for married guys.

It's not as dangerous as anal, but almost.

This article, AJ, explains some of the dangers inherent in oral.

and with some men anal,

Okay.

AJ, you should never do anal with anyone.

In many "gay communities" throughout the world, HIV prevalence is at 25% or higher.

Many of those infected don't know they're infected.

A condom will not necessarily protect you, and ARVs will not necessarily keep you alive.

NEVER do anal.

as that's the way it seemed to go. All I've really wanted was to feel my manhood against his, but when I've tried to go that way at best it's treated as a bit of foreplay, before the main act, at worst I've been laughed at.

AJ, I understand, and believe me, yours is a common story -- but --

why would you have sex with someone who laughs at what you want to do?

The reason I talk about Ares as much as I do is to try to give our guys a sense of what it means to be a Warrior -- which in this instance means to Fight for oneself.

And that's what you have to do.

Fight for your right to Live and Love as a Man.

Not as a microbe-incubation station or sperm receptacle, but as a Man.

Like I said, Ares is the God of Manhood, the God of Manliness and Courage.

It's not Manly to submit to anal penetration or to anally penetrate another male who laughs at your own needs and desires.

That may sound brutal, but you need to be awakened to what you're doing:

Endangering your life and that of your wife in a truly sorry and sordid act.

I've found myself increasingly frustrated

Yes -- it is frustrating.

And as I just said:

It's also endangering your life.

And that of your wife.

So it's very very serious.

by the lack of anything meaningful in the 'gay' way of sexual relief.

Okay.

And maybe that's part of the problem.

For us, Man2Man is not "relief."

As we say, it's a Celebration of Masculinity and an Exaltation of Manhood.

As such, it should be experienced as it has been historically, with one Loving and Faithful male partner.

It just seems and certainly feels so void,

Yes, it feels that way because it is.

especially when I think of how wondrous a truly man2man encounter can be.

Yes.

I was lucky enough in my youth to make friends with a really great man at university. He was in my year, a mature student in his 40's, recently divorced and starting out again. He was a great guy. He had been in the army and had spent many years working as a Docker. He had got married, had a family, done his bit, and was now living his life as he wanted. He kept fit and was a fine looking man in all his masculinity. I was in my early 20's, free, single and out to enjoy anything and everything that came my way. To this day I think myself blessed he came my way.

We became friends easily and over the months we sought each other out, for a quick kick about with a ball, for a night out drinking and living it up, or just to sit and talk..man to man. Eventually we ended up making out, I was surprised, but unlike the other few guys I had been with, there was no oral or anal, it was pure man2man.

Right.

"pure man2man"

It was the ultimate intimacy between us, yet at the same time it made us both feel our masculinity.

Right.

Again AJ, there should be no disconnect between true male-male intimacy, and Masculinity.

Since Men are about Masculinity and Manhood, true male-male intimacy has to be based on the Celebration of both Men's mutual Masculinity and the Exaltation of their mutual Manhood.

AJ, I know I'm repeating myself.

I do so in the hope that you'll begin thinking in those terms -- not relief, but Celebration, Exaltation, Masculinity, and Manhood.

He made my body feel the best it ever has, and I learned a lot about being a man from him. Makes me laugh reading that back when I realise that before him I was so sure I knew everything, I didn't, I still don't, he taught me that.

Good.

Time moves on though and I've found myself settling down and getting married and all the rest, but my body and soul craves that intimacy of a real man2man bonding. One day I might find it, but till then I have your site to get me by.

Okay.

AJ, we have Frot Club, which is our dating message board.

And I encourage you to post there.

What I don't encourage you to do is just hang out on the site and jerk off.

Because that's not the purpose of this site or this Alliance.

This is a post that came in a few days back from Australia which could serve as a model -- and there are more model posts in the Sample Posts section of Frot Club:

sydney frot buddy

Hi
31 yo fit aussie guy ddfree
Traditionally straight but wanting to find a buddy to enjoy our bodies together
Not into anal, not looking for blow n go
Looking for a bloke who wants to feel his cock against mine
Want to be men together?
In sydney
Thanks

John

AJ:

Thank you.

Bill:

AJ, you're very welcome.

I'm glad we can be here for you.

Bill Weintraub

Guys, let's look more closely at AJ's story and situation.

And guys, because this is a long response, I've put in some headers to aid in your reading, starting with:

So Guys --

What we can see in AJ is a male, who in his youth, had a good experience of Man2Man with an older Man -- an experience in which, he says,

unlike the other few guys I had been with, there was no oral or anal, it was pure man2man. It was the ultimate intimacy between us, yet at the same time it made us both feel our masculinity. He made my body feel the best it ever has, and I learn[ed] a lot about being a man from him. Makes me laugh reading that back when I realise that before him I was so sure I knew everything, I didn't, I still don't, he taught me that.

So -- as a youth, AJ had a mentor -- a MEN-tor -- who showed him not just What Sex Is, but along with that, what it means to be a Man.

And sexually that meant "no oral or anal, it was pure man2man."

AJ says that this was "the ultimate intimacy," which "made us both feel our masculinity."

And, he adds, "To this day I think myself blessed he came my way."

"Blessed."

That's a good descriptor for Men who are so fortunate as to experience a True Man2Man Love.

Yet, for reasons AJ doesn't give us, AJ and his mentor drifted apart.

AJ got married -- and marriage is, in our society, a heterosexualized institution --

so, I suppose, it's quite possible that AJ thought that marriage and Man2Man weren't compatible.

That's not true.

But that's what society says, and he may well have believed it.

Nevertheless, having given up this "ultimate intimacy" which was all about Masculinity and through which he felt "blessed" --

AJ, perversely -- and that's really the only word for it, it was perverse -- began searching for "relief" with other males through oral and anal.

Not good.

And he says, when he tried to get his sexual partners to do True Man2Man -- he was laughed at.

But, seeking "relief," he went ahead and had "sex" with them anyway.

Wow.

I know that's not unusual, but it's nevertheless truly horrific.

Because what was done to him -- and which he acquiesced in -- was a complete and utter abnegation of his Manhood.

With the added extra-special plus bonus of endangering his life and that of his wife -- and kids too, if he has them.

All courtesy of worldwide analism, which won't be satisfied until it's sickened and destroyed the entire human race.

But at least we'll have "gay" marriage -- that'll be a consolation.

And speaking of "gay" marriage and kids, many "gay" couples are either adopting or having children through high-priced surrogates.

You have to wonder what they're going to tell their kids when the kids get old enough to have sex.

Be sure to use a condom?

They need to look at condom failure rates, and talk to folks like Mr Andriote.

In any case, and all pathogens aside, what AJ was doing constituted, as I said, a complete and utter abnegation of his Manhood.

Now AJ says, Thank Ares for your site.

And that's appropriate.

But what he and all of you need to understand, is that there's a principle of reciprocity at work among not just Men, but between Gods and Men.

Or, if you prefer, between God and Man.

Ares is the Warrior God, the God of Manhood.

Here's a representation of Ares from around the time of Alexander the Great -- ca 330 BC:

That's Ares.

The God.

Immortal.

Undying.

Forever.

Noble, Handsome, Brave -- Pure MAN, Pure MANHOOD, Pure WARRIOR.

And as I've emphasized in posts like Excellence, Honor, and the Molding of Men, the Greeks were very clear about the relationship between Ares -- the God of Warrior Manhood -- and what they called "Areté" -- Excellence, Goodness, Virtue.

As is explained in Liddell and Scott's Ancient Greek Lexicon:

From the same root [ARES] comes areté [excellence] ...the first notion of goodness being that of manhood, bravery in war; cf. Lat. virtus.

And, Liddell and Scott re-inforce that point by saying that Areté is

goodness, excellence, of any kind, esp. of manly qualities, manhood, valour, prowess, Hom., Hdt. (like Lat. vir-tus, from vir).

So:

Areté -- Excellence, Goodness, and Virtue -- is a Manly attribute, a Virile attribute, made up of Manhood, Valour, and Prowess --

Prowess being defined as "exceptional valour, bravery, and ability, superior strength, courage, skill, and daring -- especially in Combat or Battle" --

All of which belong to Ares -- the Warrior God, the God of Manhood, the God of Warrior Manhood.

So and again:

Areté -- Excellence, Goodness, and Virtue -- is a Manly attribute, a Virile attribute, made up of Manhood, Valour, and Fighting Prowess -- Virtue --

All of which belong to Ares -- the Warrior God, the God of Manhood, the God of Warrior Manhood.

And AJ says, Thank Ares for your site.

Which is fine, but like I said, what he and all of you need to understand is that there's a principle of reciprocity at work among not just Men, but between Gods and Men.

Or, if you prefer, between God and Man.

So, and once again:

Ares is the Warrior God, the God of Manhood.

If you spurn His gifts -- by behaving in unmanly ways -- He will withdraw those gifts -- and they won't be re-offered.

Again: there's a principle of reciprocity at work among not just Men, but between Gods and Men.

Between God and Man.

That traditionally is how Men have understood their relationship to the Divine.

That they must, as we discussed in Courage or Cataclysm render -- give -- to the Divine according to their power; and the Divine in return will give to them.

But it has to be a two-way street.

Just as with this site and this Alliance -- this Man2Man Alliance -- you can't take-take-take from the Divine and then expect the Divine to be there for you when you need it.

For example, Alain Danielou, a Frenchman who converted to Hinduism, says this about the Phallus as Sacred:

It is only when the penis stands up straight that it emits semen, the source of life. It is then called the Phallus, and has been considered, since earliest prehistory, the image of the creative principle, a symbol of the process by which the Supreme Being procreates the Universe.

This is not the case of a symbol plucked at random but the recognition of the continuity of the process that links all the various levels of manifestation, according to cosmological theory. The Phallus is really the image of the creator in mankind, and we rediscover the worship of it at the origin of every religion.

A source of pleasure, the Phallus evokes divine bliss, the Being of Joy. Within the microcosm of the living being it represents the progenitor, which is always present in its work.

Contempt for this sacred emblem, as well as degradation and debasement of it, pushes man from the divine reality. It provokes the anger of the Gods and leads to the decline of the species. The man who scorns the very symbol of the life principle abandons his kind to the powers of death.

~ Danielou, Alain. The Phallus: Sacred Symbol of Male Creative Power.

Let's replay that last paragraph:

Contempt for this sacred emblem, as well as degradation and debasement of it, pushes man from the divine reality. It provokes the anger of the Gods and leads to the decline of the species. The man who scorns the very symbol of the life principle abandons his kind to the powers of death.

So: contempt for Phallus, a sacred emblem, "as well as degradation and debasement of it, pushes man from the divine reality."

Right.

It removes you from the Sacred, and thus makes it easier for you to become involved in degrading and de-humanizing acts.

"It provokes the anger of the Gods and leads to the decline of the species. The man who scorns the very symbol of the life principle abandons his kind to the powers of death."

And in those degrading acts, you abandon yourself to the powers of death.

Which is true.

AJ has risked his life and that of his wife through turning away from the divine reality of Phallus and mutually Phallic Sex, has provoked the anger of the God, and in so doing has abandoned himself and his wife to the powers of death.

Once again, that's the truth.

So -- AJ needs to think about what his culture has told him about both sex between Men -- and so-called sexual orientation.

Which doesn't exist.

Once again, and as you can clearly see in AJ's post, the bifurcation into "gay" and "straight," which we know as sexual orientation, is false.

Both social scientists and geneticists say it doesn't exist.

I discuss their views in my reply to Warrior Eric's Staying Strong and Masculine.

I'm not going to repeat all of that discussion here, because I really want you guys to read Staying Strong and Masculine -- it's a very important post.

But I will note that the academics and scholars we quote in Staying Strong and Masculine, led by Richard Horton, editor of the prestigious UK medical journal the Lancet, say that

"gay" and "straight" do NOT exist as "inherent biological classes . . . in some unchangeable sense."

Horton also strongly condemns those who "adopt the idea of the homosexual as a physical 'species' different from the heterosexual."

And adds, while reviewing the work of scholars such as Michel Foucault, that "there are no convincing historical grounds for this view."

Which of course is what we say too.

And Horton quotes an historian named Jonathan Ned Katz who says

"Contrary to today's bio-belief, the heterosexual/homosexual binary is not in nature, but is socially constructed, therefore deconstructable."

What all that means is that the division of society into "gay" and "straight," which plays such a HUGE and TYRANNICAL part in the lives of Men today -- is totally and utterly FALSE.

That it does not exist in nature.

That it is therefore, UNnatural.

And that it's an idea which was constructed or put together by a society -- which wishes to keep MEN -- apart.

From other MEN.

So -- sexual orientation doesn't exist.

What about Ares?

The Warrior God.

The God of Manhood.

Does He exist?

Yes.

Unquestionably.

Ares exists because Manhood exists.

Once again:

Ares exists because Manhood exists.

And Manhood exists --

Not just in a metaphorical sense -- not just as an idea -- but as a function of Male Biology.

Manhood is real -- it's within every Man.

Which means Ares -- the Warrior God -- is within every Man.

But you have to nurture your connection with the God --

just as you have to nurture your Manhood.

This is something the ancients -- folks like Sokrates -- understood very well.

That just as you have to train your body, so you have to train not just your mind, but your soul.

You have to work at being Virtuous -- in this instance, in being Virtuous in a Manly way.

At doing the right thing -- as a Warrior.

Otherwise, you'll literally get out of practice and then forget how.

And while you might not notice, the Gods will notice.

As will your fellow Men.

Here's Xenophon, a contemporary of Plato's, a professional soldier, and a student of Sokrates:

I notice that as those who do not train the body cannot perform the functions proper to the body, so those who do not train the soul cannot perform the functions of the soul: for they cannot do what they ought to do nor avoid what they ought not to do.

. . .

To me indeed it seems that whatever is honourable, whatever is good in conduct is the result of training, and that this is especially true of prudence [self-control, temperance, moderation]. For in the same body along with the soul are planted the pleasures which call to her: "Abandon prudence, and make haste to gratify us and the body."

~Memorobilia, 1.1.19, 23.

So you have to work at being Virtuous, you have to train the soul just as you train the body.

Does that sound silly and archaic?

But look at how AJ's been behaving.

He had a mentor who taught him the meaning of True Man2Man -- but -- after separating from his mentor, AJ didn't work at retaining those values.

He didn't train his soul, he didn't practice being Virtuous.

Instead, he let himself forget what was Good and Honourable and both Temperate and Prudent, and fell prey to his body's alleged need to experience sexual "relief" --

by doing oral and anal --

the very two acts which his mentor had taught him to avoid.

Yet AJ didn't.

He went ahead and engaged in oral and anal with males who laughed at his desire for True Man2Man.

Which was neither good, nor honourable, nor temperate -- nor prudent.

So -- just as you go to the gym to train your body, so you have to train your soul.

Otherwise the values of the larger culture, which are selfish and dissolute and unManly -- take over your life.

Here's Sokrates talking to a proponent of selfishness and hedonism:

Heaven and Earth and Gods and Men are held together by Communion and Friendship, by Orderliness, Temperance, and Justice; and that is the reason why they call the whole of this world by the name of Kosmos [order]; not of disorder or dissoluteness.

Now you, as it seems to me, do not give proper attention to this, for all your cleverness, but have failed to observe the great power of Geometrical Equality amongst both Gods and Men: you hold that self-advantage [Greek = pleonexia = greed and greediness] is what one ought to practise, because you neglect geometry.

What does Sokrates mean by "Geometrical" Equality?

He means proportionate.

He's saying that Gods and Men are held together through mutual and proportionate devotion.

And if Manhood is the Warrior God and the Warrior God is Manhood --

You have to be devoted to your Manhood.

You can't be sticking it in holes full of shit or letting some femmy buttfairy suck on it.

And that's just your physical Manhood.

There's also your Manhood as a psychological and spiritual entity.

When someone laughs at your Love of True Man2Man, when he's mocking your Manhood -- you need to *forcefully* correct him.

And then leave.

How can you have "sex" with someone who disdains and disrespects you -- and your Manhood -- in that way?

The answer is -- you CAN'T.

You can't have "sex" on those terms; and you certainly can't have LOVE on those terms.

"Heaven and Earth and Gods and Men are held together by Communion and Friendship, by Orderliness, Temperance, and Justice; and that is the reason why they call the whole of this world by the name of Kosmos [order]; not of disorder or dissoluteness."

When Sokrates says "disorder and dissoluteness" he's referring specifically to anal.

"using men as women" as he says at another point, quoting Areté's criticism of the harlot Vice:

Thou dost rouse lust by many a trick, when there is no need, using men as women.

~Xenophon, Memorobilia 2.1.21

And that's just how it is.

There's a Virtuous Path -- a Godly Path -- a Manly Path --

and then there's vice.

In the modern world, we're not just surrounded by vice, we're drowning in it.

Which means that Virtue and Godliness and Manliness and Manhood have to be nurtured.

Cared for.

That we cannot, as Sokrates says, neglect geometry.

Proportion.

Which means rendering to God -- to Manhood -- according to our power.

So -- I don't know if any of you will understand this, but:

If you're here -- on this site -- because Manhood and Manliness -- what our society calls "Masculinity," but which only a hundred years ago was simply Manliness -- if you're here because Manliness and Manhood are important to you --

and that's really the only reason you would be here --

then Ares -- the Warrior God -- needs to know that.

And one way of His knowing that is for Him to see his Manliness reflected in you -- and his Manhood reflected in yours.

Again:

Ares -- the Warrior God -- needs to see his Manliness reflected in you.

And his Manhood reflected in yours.

He needs to see that you want to be a Man who follows the Warrior Way -- the Way of Manly Virtue and Valour.

And if you love Him because of his Manliness and Manhood -- He needs to hear you say so.

That He's your God because He's the God of Warrior Manhood.

So: Let's look for a moment at how Sokrates thought about this, as described by his student Xenophon.

And what's going on here is that after hearing Sokrates describe all the goods things the Gods do for Men, a young Man says to him, "But my heart fails me when I think that no Man can ever render due thanks to the Gods for their benefits."

Sokrates responds:

"No, don't be down-hearted, Euthydemus; for you know that to the inquiry, 'How am I to please the Gods?' the Delphic God replies, 'Follow the custom of the state'; and everywhere, I suppose, it is the custom that Men propitiate the Gods with sacrifices according to their power. How then can a Man honour the Gods more excellently and more devoutly than by doing as they themselves ordain?

Only he must fall no whit short of his power. For when he does that, it is surely plain that he is not then honouring the Gods. Therefore it is by coming no whit short of his power in honouring the Gods that he is to look with confidence for the greatest blessing. For there are none from whom a Man of prudence would hope for greater things than those who can confer the greatest benefits, nor can he show his prudence more clearly than by pleasing them. And how can he please them better than by obeying them strictly?"

~Memorobilia, 4.3.17

So the question here is -- Given all the good things the God does for you -- He gives you Manhood after all -- how can you thank Him, how can you honor Him?

And the answer is -- You must honor Him according to your power and not one iota short of that.

Now -- Sokrates is talking about sacrificing animals on the God's altar -- and that's not something we do any longer.

So then the question becomes -- absent animal sacrifice, how do you honor the God?

And the answer is -- and it's contained in what Sokrates says --

By behaving as He would have you behave -- with Manly Virtue.

Because that's what He's about and that's what He wants you to be about.

So -- remember that Liddell and Scott said that the word for Excellence and Goodness -- Areté -- is derived from Ares:

From the same root -- ARES -- comes Areté [excellence] ...the first notion of goodness being that of manhood, bravery in war; cf. Lat. virtus.

And that Liddell and Scott say that Areté is

goodness, excellence, of any kind, esp. of manly qualities, manhood, valour, prowess, Hom., Hdt. (like Lat. vir-tus, from vir)

So -- what Ares is about and what He wants to see in you is Goodness and Excellence, Virtue -- in MANLY qualities -- Manhood, Valour, Fighting Prowess -- Excellence in Combat, Combative Excellence.

Ares wants to see Goodness and Excellence in your Manhood, in your Valour, in your Manly Prowess.

And He wants to see those qualities displayed to the very limit of your power.

And not one bit short of that -- as Sokrates says:

Only he [who would honour the Gods] must fall no whit short of his power. For when he does that, it is surely plain that he is not then honouring the Gods. Therefore it is by coming no whit short of his power in honouring the Gods that he is to look with confidence for the greatest blessing.

Again, this may sound silly to you -- but it's not.

Sokrates was no dummy.

And what he's saying, although it's couched in 5th-century BC terms, is psychologically and spiritually just as true today.

If you want "the greatest blessing" from your association with the God -- the Warrior God -- then you must Honor Him with all your power.

Not just some.

All.

It is, as Xenophon says, a way of training your soul in Manly Virtue.

And one very good reason to listen to Xenophon is that he's not just a moralist or this guy who once knew Sokrates, or, as he was, a friend of the Spartan King Agesilaus -- he's also the Commander who led 10,000 Greek Warriors who were stranded deep in Persian territory, out of Persia, and to the safety of the Greek homeland.

That he pulled that off is almost unimaginable.

The Men had to Fight their way through barbarian tribes and over very rough terrain, both of which were totally new not just to them, but to all Greeks.

And Xenophon was chosen to be Commander by those Warriors themselves.

They got together and elected him their Commander after their first Commander, Klearchos, a Spartan of course, had been deceived and killed by the Persians -- and Xenophon, seeing that his fellow Men, his fellow Warriors, thinking that they too would soon be killed, were very dispirited by their situation, spoke up and said -- We need to defend ourselves; We need to Fight:

And in my own experience, Men, I have observed this other fact, that those who are anxious in war to save their lives in any way they can, are the very men who usually meet with a base and shameful death; while those who have recognized that death is the common and inevitable portion of all mankind and therefore strive to meet death nobly, are precisely those who are somehow more likely to reach old age and who enjoy a happier existence while they do live.

We, then, taking to heart this lesson, so suited to the crisis which now confronts us, must be brave men ourselves and call forth bravery in our fellows.

That's how he came to be chosen Commander.

By recalling the Men, in this very desperate situation, to their Manhood.

So Xenophon knows something about Manliness and Manhood and Valour.

And he, like Sokrates, says that he always honors the Gods -- and he says, if you'd been in as many life-and-death situations as I've been -- you'd learn to honor the Gods too.

And again, it's not just a spiritual point that he's making -- it's also a psychological point, based upon his experience of Men, Warriors, and War.

I'm glad AJ has found us.

I hope that AJ will now seek to re-find what he had with his mentor.

And perhaps someday he too can be a mentor.

But to do that AJ, you'll have to learn to live as your mentor did.

You said that he "lived his life as he wanted."

You haven't been doing that.

You've been doing anal and oral with casual partners in order to get a few moments of "relief."

Your mentor didn't do that.

He cultivated a friendship with you before doing anything sexual with you.

"Heaven and Earth and Gods and Men are held together by Communion and Friendship, by Orderliness, Temperance, and Justice; and that is the reason why they call the whole of this world by the name of Kosmos [order]; not of disorder or dissoluteness."

Before there's sex -- there has to be Communion and Friendship.

And Order and Temperance -- that means Self-Control -- and Justice.

Then -- if you're prepared to be Faithful -- then you can have sex.

Not for relief, but for something much finer.

For Masculine Exaltation.

Isn't that what you once had?

And wouldn't you like to have it again?

You said, AJ, that you wanted "to feel my Manhood against his."

Which is what all MEN want.

But at the rate you're going, you won't have any Manhood to offer another Man.

And Men will know that.

Men know Manliness, they know Masculinity, they know Manhood.

We Men -- Us Guys -- have to -- because our survival, at least in the past, has depended upon our ability to bond with Manly Men, Masculine Men, Aggressive Men -- in self-defense.

And most Men still understand, deep in their hearts, that their survival even today depends upon that ability.

Which is why Men are so universally attracted to Masculinity and Manhood.

It's a turn-on for them.

So if you want to be with another Man -- you have to nurture your Manhood.

You have to make yourself ready -- which means Worthy -- of being with another Man.

And when you feel that you're Worthy and ready to be with another Man --

You have to do what your mentor did.

And insist upon FROT.

Phallus against Phallus, Manhood against Manhood.

You said, of your time with your mentor, "no oral or anal, it was pure man2man."

Then why now do you dishonor him and his memory by doing oral and anal?

And where do you think that's going to get you?

Nowhere.

FROT is a completely NATURAL MASCULINE behavior.

It doesn't effeminize.

Rather, it celebrates Masculinity and Manhood.

What MAN doesn't want that?

What MAN doesn't want his Masculinity heightened and his Manhood honored?

ALL MEN seek an increase in Masculinity.

ALL MEN desire an exalting of Manhood.

These are UNIVERSALS among MEN.

If you want to be a Man among Men, AJ -- which is what your mentor was and certainly what he would have wanted for you -- you'll have to honor those Universals -- in yourself, and in other Men.

And that's true for ALL you guys.

I know perfectly well that AJ's not the only one of you who's goin' along to get along by doing oral and anal.

Just as I know that most of you are so selfish and stingy that you'll never have a Lover.

You read what I say -- and you know what my own life history is -- but you refuse to learn from it.

Making you stupid and stingy and selfish.

MEN are not stingy and selfish.

ALTRUISM -- WARRIOR ALTRUISM -- as I showed you in The New York Times article I linked to in Courage or Cataclysm -- is a MALE trait, with genetic roots in our evolutionary past.

Human reproductive strategies are such that Men tend to be altruistic, Women selfish.

Doesn't mean that Men are good and Women bad.

But it does mean that if you want to be considered a Man by other Men -- you have to demonstrate altruism -- Warrior Altruism.

Because Warrior Altrusim is the Warrior Ideal.

And the basis of Warrior Communion.

I don't know what happens in primitive societies, and I don't want to fall into the trap of the noble savage;

but I do know that as societies begin to accumulate excess wealth, which tends, unless you're Sparta, to concentrate in fewer and fewer hands, Men appear -- Men, needless to say, who are also Warriors -- Men like the Hebrew prophets and Sokrates -- who make it their Life's Work to remind their fellow Men of their altruistic obligations -- as MEN.

And as WARRIORS.

Sokrates:

Heaven and Earth and Gods and Men are held together by Communion and Friendship, by Orderliness, Temperance, and Justice; and that is the reason why they call the whole of this world by the name of Kosmos [order]; not of disorder or dissoluteness.

Now you, as it seems to me, do not give proper attention to this, for all your cleverness, but have failed to observe the great power of Geometrical Equality amongst both Gods and Men: you hold that self-advantage [Greek = pleonexia = greed and greediness] is what one ought to practise, because you neglect geometry.

And maybe the appearance of those Men -- Men like Sokrates -- is the playing out of an evolutionary necessity -- and maybe it's the playing out of God's will.

The Will of the Warrior God.

But Sparta, as I said, didn't need a Man like Sokrates -- though Sokrates and Plato and many, many, other Greeks greatly admired Sparta -- because Sparta had abolished, through the directives of its law-giver Lycurgus and the *agreement* of its Warrior Citizenry, differences in wealth and made VALOUR -- which is a function of Warrior Altruism, and if you don't believe me, read the citations which accompany our nation's Medal of Honor --

Sparta had abolished differences in wealth and made VALOUR the only criterion for advancement in society and state.

Not greed, but Virtue.

Not self, but Valour.

Again, that came about at Sparta not just through the actions of one Man -- though he was certainly enormously important -- but through the agreement of the Warrior Citizenry.

That's why Sparta flourished for 700 years.

And that's why Sparta is the societal ideal for this Alliance.

And the Spartan Ideal -- of Austerity and Equality, of putting Virtue and Valour before greed -- reached deep into other Greek societies.

Here, for example, is a passage from the Athenian playwright Euripides' Phoenician Women, his take on the Greek epic Seven Against Thebes.

Jokasta is addressing her son Eteokles, whose refusal to share the throne of Thebes with his brother Polyneikes has touched off a fratracidal war.

And Eteokles starts the conversation by extolling "Tyranny, the greatest of the gods" -- and belittling Equality.

His argument is basically that might makes right, and pleasure rules.

In that, he's much like Sokrates' opponent in the "Geometrical Equality" debate, who's also a proponent of the use of force to gain power and pleasure.

This is Jokasta's response:

Eteokles, my child, it is not all evil that attends old age; but experience has something to say wiser than youth.

Why, my son, do you so long for Ambition, that worst of deities? Oh, do not; the goddess is unjust; many are the homes and cities once prosperous that she has entered and left, to the ruin of her worshippers; and she is the one you are mad for.

It is better, my son, to honor Equality, who always joins friend to friend, city to city, allies to allies; for Equality is naturally lasting among men; but the less is always in opposition to the greater, and begins the dawn of hatred.

For it is Equality that has set up for man measures and divisions of weights, and has determined numbers; night's sightless eye, and radiant sun proceed upon their yearly course on equal terms, and neither of them is envious when it has to yield. Though both sun and night are servants for mortals, you will not be content with your fair share of your heritage and give the same to your brother? Then where is justice?

Why do you honor to excess tyranny, a prosperous injustice, why do you think so much of it? Admiring glances are to be prized? No, that is an empty pleasure. Or do you want to have many troubles from the many riches in your house? What advantage is it? The name only; for the wise find that enough which suffices for their wants. Mortals indeed have no possessions of their own; we do but hold the stewardship of the Gods' property; and when they will, they take it back again.

Riches make no settled home, but are as transient as the day.

Come, suppose I put before you two alternatives, and ask you whether you wish to rule or save your city? Will you say you wish to rule?

~translated by E P Coleridge

So in the play Jokasta, like Sokrates -- and Euripides knew many philosophers, and was said in turn to be Sokrates' favorite playwright --

Jokasta, like Sokrates, decries a tyrannous ambition and a prosperous injustice, and honors "Equality, who always joins friend to friend, city to city, allies to allies; for Equality is naturally lasting among men."

Again -- Jokasta praises "Equality, who always joins friend to friend, city to city, allies to allies; for Equality is naturally lasting among men."

While Sokrates speaks of "the great power of Geometrical Equality amongst both Gods and Men . . ." which holds "Heaven and Earth and Gods and Men . . . together by Communion and Friendship, by Orderliness, Temperance, and Justice."

Jokasta also gives voice to the idea of nothing in excess -- just enough for your needs, not more; something which Sokrates both taught and lived by;

and questions the very notion of property, pointing out that whatever you may think you own, it is solely at the sufferance of the Gods, who may re-claim it at any moment.

Property.

Greed.

Right now much of the Western world is in an abyss created by greed and by childish lies about the infallibility of markets.

Only God is infallible.

Not markets.

And you can't have political democracy without economic democracy.

The Spartans understood that.

We don't.

Because we don't want to.

So -- the Western world is in an abyss of its own making.

And not coincidentally, the world of "men who have sex with men" is also in an abyss.

An abyss of anal penetration and promiscuity.

A filthy butthole.

Its gift to humanity?

Beside the many millions dead?

A Culture of Mistrust -- built on the condom.

A culture which teaches -- protect yourSELF -- and don't worry about the other guy.

He's just meat -- grist for your mill.

Fuck him and forget him.

How different is that from what went on in the housing bubble and the derivatives markets?

No different at all.

Indeed, what's happened in the last thirty-five years has been a great renversement -- reversal -- of values.

Greed and lust, selfishness and gluttony -- which for thousands of years were viewed as profoundly negative -- have now become societal norms.

Analism appeared in 1975.

Reagan -- the great spokesperson for greed -- was elected in 1980.

But really, the nation was ready for him in 1976.

Ford's pardon of Nixon guaranteed that a Democrat would be elected that year.

But the Democrat didn't last.

Reagan, and Reaganism, did.

Ronald Reagan was first and foremost an actor, and fact is he found in the American people a very willing audience.

The policies -- and more to the point -- the values he put forward -- which many people now believe are responsible for our present mess -- were very popular.

Yet Sokrates, the Hebrew prophets, Jesus, Confucius -- any ethical teacher we can name from the preceding millenia -- would have been appalled by what Reagan preached.

And would have condemned both the teaching and the teacher.

Reagan made a great show of "masculinity."

And he was good at it -- he was, as I said, an actor, and of many years experience.

But what he put forth was not Manly.

I know that he took many in and still does.

Not me.

What he taught was not ethical -- and not Manly --

because it was opposed to that Altruism which must always be at the center and heart of the Warrior's existence.

So -- AJ and ALL of you -- if you want to be MAN -- a MAN, not a buttfairy -- and if you want to have a MAN for a Lover -- a MAN, not a femmy --

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE A MAN YOURSELF.

To be a MAN you HAVE to be a WARRIOR.

And to be a WARRIOR -- you have to practice WARRIOR ALTRUISM.

I see that in so few of you -- and believe me, I have no illusions about what you are -- only the knowledge of what you COULD be -- that I know you'll never have what you want.

NEVER.

Not ever.

Most of you are creatures of popular culture -- exploitative, ignoble, base.

The Spartans had no use for the popular culture of their day.

They didn't allow it in their city.

They created their own entertainment:

Choral singing and choral dancing, martial dancing, performed nude and to the tune of Doric and martial melodies by the Youth of Fighting Age.

Nude competitions in Fight Sport.

They didn't fear nudity.

They were required to stay in Fighting condition throughout their lives.

They didn't grow fat because they didn't overeat.

They didn't overeat because they ate communally -- the fare was basic and there was just enough to sustain them as Fighters.

Never enough to make them fat.

And it was upon Valour -- which again, is just another word for Warrior Altruism -- that their standing among their Peers, their Equals -- rose or fell.

Sparta was without question the ultimate Warrior State.

There was an Athenian politician and great War leader named Cimon who, when Athens was faced with a difficulty, would say, "What would the Spartans do?"

If you want someday to be a MAN -- you have to ask the same question:

What would a SPARTAN do?

Line his own pockets?

Or help his fellow Men?

I thank AJ for his post.

I hope he finds the strength to be a worthy student of his mentor.

Mentor, as some of you may know, was a Warrior and friend of Odysseus.

Odysseus left him in charge of his son Telemachos.

Tele-machos means Purposeful Fighter -- or Fighting for a Purpose -- Fighting with a goal in mind.

Telemachos' goal, of course, was to see his mother's suitors -- who were also ignoble and base -- defeated and destroyed and his father safely back home in Ithaca.

So -- AJ and all of you -- perhaps it'll help if you think of yourself as your Mentor's Telemachos --

A Fighter for a Cause.

Let that cause be your own Manly Life *and* that of your fellow Men --

your fellow Warriors --

and maybe, just maybe, like Telemachos, you'll attract the attention and aid of the God --

in this case the great and invincible Ares --

and succeed.

Bill Weintraub

November 10, 2010

This utterly charming painting is known as "The Farewell of Telemachus and Eucharis" and is by the great French neo-classicist Jacques-Louis David.

Telemachos is here saying good-bye to his girlfriend, who's actually a nymph, as he sets out to search for his father.

Some (feminist) critics say that David is here contrasting feminine resignation with masculine rectitude.

Well, the rectitude is certainly right -- Telemachos holds his spear erect -- just like the Greek Warrior in this kylix or drinking cup.

But the very lovely Eucharis -- whose name means "good grace" -- doesn't seem resigned to me.

She has her arms around Telemachos' neck -- she's trying to hold on, and she would, if she could, keep him with her forever.

Which is understandable, and also certainly very feminine.

But Telemachos is a Man.

And he needs to get on with his Manly life's work.

In this case, that means going on a quest to find his Father -- the author of his Manhood.

And in earnest of that, and like I said, he holds his spear erect -- erection, rectitude, Manly Righteousness.

Note that both young people are bathed in a truly luminous post-coital glow.

As you can see in this second reproduction, which is lighter in tone:

Again, the young people are post-coital.

That means, not to put too fine a point on it, that Telemachos has been fucking Eucharis.

Does that make him a Man?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

If it did, he wouldn't have to go look for his father.

He could just hang out with the nymphs and bang away.

But in the view of the ancients, fucking a Woman does NOT make you a Man.

MANLINESS IS VALOUR.

To be a Man, you have to Fight.

Our culture, which is so thoroughly heterosexualized, tells males that fucking a female will make them into Men.

It won't.

And that's why we have so many confused and increasingly femmy males in our society, and so few Men.

Again, what our culture tells Men is both new and wrong.

Historically:

MANHOOD = FIGHTING.

Not fucking.

Historically, being a Man has meant hanging out with Men.

Not with nymphs, no matter how lovely and alluring.

Historically, being a Man has meant hanging out with Men --

and FIGHTING.

Which is why Telemachos is leaving.

He needs to find his MANHOOD -- by FIGHTING to find his Father.

A very similar situation arose with Achilles on Scyros.

Scyros was a little island with its own kingdom.

And Achilles was there because his mother Thetis, a goddess, didn't want him to get killed in the Trojan War.

So, when he was still a teenager, she disguised him as a girl -- effeminized him -- and hid him on the island among the king's daughters.

Achilles maintained the disguise -- but he also got chummy with one of the girls and slept with her.

Indeed, he got her pregnant.

In the meantime, Odysseus -- or, in Latin, Ulysses -- cleverest of all the Greeks, had been sent on a mission to find Achilles and get him to the war.

So -- Ulysses and a buddy visited the island where Achilles was hiding out, and used a ruse.

They said they had brought gifts for all the girls.

Which they set out on a table.

But among the gifts were some instruments of war.

Here's what happened, as the great Roman poet Statius tells it in the Achilleid -- the wonderfully colloquial translation is by David Slavitt:

[The girls] gather around the hall table where presents
are out on display. Diomedes invites them to choose what they will.
They look to the king who is pleased and nods in assent -- he cannot
suppose that the gifts of Greeks are not always what they may seem.
He has, in any event, no cause to suspect Ulysses,
famed though he is for his guile.

The girls, being girls, are attracted
to the little drums and ritual cymbals, or pretty headbands
set with precious stones. To the weapons they pay no mind,
or else they assume these are gifts for Lycomedes himself.

But the bold Achilles, Peleus' son, of Aeacus' line,
is dazzled. His eyes shine at the sheen of the gold on that shield.
The wonderful workmanship invites him. The battle scenes
on the boss and around the rim speak to his spirit. He lifts
the shield and the spear beside it, hefts them, wields them, wears them
as the soul wears its flesh. He forgets his mother's instructions
and [his girl friend's] hints. He plants his feet like a soldier
and tries one battle cry that rings out from the stonework.

His eyes are ablaze and his hair is electric, an animal's hackles. ..
Think of a lion cub that some hunter has reared and tamed,
a regular pussycat, but then one day, when it sees
the steel of the javelin's tip, something deep in its heart
rebels. The beast reverts, goes wild, ashamed to have fawned
and purred and played like a pet. It turns on its keeper and mauls him.
The room is hushed. They are all staring. Achilles puts down
the shield, but he sees in the metal his own reflection -- a face
noble and warlike, but wearing a woman's headband and earrings.
He is thrilled and he blushes in shame. He cannot move. Ulysses
already beside him is speaking calmly, one man to another:
"We know who you are. But more important, you know.
The game is over. The ship is waiting. The moment is here.
The towering walls of Troy invite you. At every step
you take in their direction, they tremble. You did as your mother
instructed, but now it's over." Ulysses removes the headband
from Achilles' head and looks to Agyrtes, who takes the trumpet
from the folds of his cloak and blows it, a piercing martial blast
that scatters the terrified girls. But Achilles, strange to believe,
grows taller, broader. ..Amazing! He towers over Ulysses.
That spear in his huge hand now seems like a mere toy
as he waits, poised, ready for Hector or anyone else.

So -- his mother, in seeking to protect him from the war, has effeminized him by dressing him in girls' clothes and telling him to act like a girl.

And he goes along with the charade.

But when Ulysses arrives with the weapons, he's immediately recalled to his True, MANLY, MASCULINE, Self.

The battle scenes on the shield "speak to his spirit."

"He lifts the shield and the spear beside it, hefts them, wields them,
wears them as the soul wears its flesh."

Because he has the Soul of a Warrior.

He lets out a battlecry "that rings out from the stonework."

Ulysses speaks to him, "one Man to another":

"We know who you are. But more important, you know."

Right -- we, your fellow Men and fellow Warriors, know who you are, but more important, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

And then Ulysses removes the effeminizing disguise from Achilles, and, as another Warrior blows a piercing, martial, blast, on a war trumpet,

"Achilles, strange to believe,
grows taller, broader. ..Amazing! He towers over Ulysses.
That spear in his huge hand now seems like a mere toy
as he waits, poised, ready for Hector or anyone else."

The growing taller and broader of course is a metaphor for erection.

And this is something which the pyschoanalysts used to call "masculine inflation" -- that is, the male "inflated" by his Masculine Pride.

Not exactly the sort of stuff you'd see on Lifetime.

The point is that when Achilles is re-called to his *AGGRESSIVE*, Masculine self, he becomes a MAN.

And this accords with my own life experience.

My initial session -- just one session -- of training in karate changed me.

It was literally a life-changing event.

By learning how to use my body as a weapon, I was restored to my Manliness.

And I changed.

I became visibly and by a large order of magnitude more self-confident.

Friends and strangers both noticed the difference, and commented on how "cocky" -- I heard that word more than once -- and confident I was.

So: Statius is a typical ancient writer, a Masculinist writer, and he's very positive about Men and Manliness.

And he's clear about what makes a Man a Man.

Not fucking nymphs and/or the daughters of kings.

But FIGHTING.

He thinks -- knows -- that Fighting is good for Men.

He's not in favor of war by the way.

He recognizes the horrors of war.

But he clearly thinks that Fighting is natural to and is good for -- MEN.

He also thinks that "present rage" may foretoken "future love."

Between MEN.

That's why I want you to make the effort to read him.

Like Achilles, you owe it to YOUR SELF -- to do that.

Now: This is a Roman mosaic of Achilles at the moment on Scyros when he grabs the weapons and drops the charade:

You can see Achilles grasping his shield and spear, with his girlfriend to our left trying to stop him and Ulysses to our right no doubt pleased with the success of his plan.

And you can see that Achilles' skin is lighter in tone than that of Ulysses -- because, as we discussed in the post titled Heterosexism's encroachment on masculinity, Achilles' hanging with the women has effeminized him -- which in terms of Roman artistic convention, means that his skin will become lighter and his musculature softer.

But, as we can see in the mosaic, having been recalled to his true Masculine self, his body posture is that of the defiant warrior.

So this was a popular theme in Greek and Roman art -- the Warrior recalled to himself.

And you're seeing the same thing in David's version of "The Farewell of Telemachus and Eucharis":

The boy begins his male journey by being awakened or recalled to Manly things.

And those things are not fucking Women.

They are Fighting -- Fighting beside and for Men.

Does that mean, if you're married, you should leave your wife?

Well, if like AJ, you're out whoring around, doing oral and anal with gay-identified males, you'd be doing your wife a favor if you left her.

Provided you first told her that she needs to get tested for HIV and other STI.

But, and otherwise, you don't have to leave your wife.

So long as you're giving EQUAL time to your need to be a MAN.

Not a consort but a MAN.

That's what's going on in this picture:

Telemachos -- Purposeful FIGHTER -- is about to fulfill his destiny -- as a MAN.

You need to do the same.

And as I said, you need to become --

A Fighter for a Cause.

Let that cause be your own Manly Life and that of your fellow Men --

your fellow Warriors --

and maybe, just maybe, like Telemachos, you'll attract the attention and aid of the God --

in this case the great and invincible Ares --

and succeed.

Bill Weintraub

November 10, 2010

© All material Copyright 2010 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.