Reply from:

Bill Weintraub

Re: My first male connection -- a married man's report

7-4-2011

Guys --

Joe's first post was titled to feel the passion two men can experience by being together -- and I encourage you to read it.

Right now.

It'll open in a new browser window and you can read it and then come back to this one.

So please read it.

Because when you read it, you'll note that I had to persuade Joe to post.

I had to -- and for the 50 millionth time in dealing with "males" like Joe -- explain about Warrior Altruism, and that he'd been helped by other guys' posts, and now it was his turn to help -- someone else.

Yes -- I had to persuade him of that.

To be fair, it only took one email.

But it shouldn't have taken even that.

But it did.

Now, Joe says, he's learned some lessons from his "first male connection" -- which he wants to impart:

First, never have physical contact the very first time you meet someone, which we did, after we talked for about 2 hours. The next 4 hours were beautiful, and we both hated to leave each other. Second, find someone close to where you live, we were separated by 250 miles, but met half-way. Still, location did play a factor in our meetings. Third, I learned I can be with a man and not struggle with deceit issues, that I can enjoy the male body, then go home to my wife and be totally comfortable. Fourth, if the man is married and has a family, you better have total and open communication about that issue. If he gives any indication he might feel like he is cheating, then forget him, and move on. Fifth, make sure he has read all material on this website, and believes and feels the same way.

Let's look at these:

1. "never have physical contact the very first time you meet someone, which we did, after we talked for about 2 hours."

Right.

This is something I tell you guys, but so far as I can tell, NONE of you are strong enough morally mentally or emotionally -- to follow that advice.

Why not?

Because we live in an hedonistic age and culture -- and what the culture tells you -- Do it now! -- is far more powerful for you than the commonsense wisdom of the ages which I try to impart.

Moral: Culture is powerful.

That's why cultural change matters.

The idea that somehow little old you will be able to beat the culture -- is almost always wrong.

2. "find someone close to where you live"

Sure.

If you can.

But, as I keep saying, and as you know perfectly well, Frot is a denigrated and minority activity.

Truth is, Joe was lucky to find someone a mere 250 miles away.

That too is why cultural change matters.

3. "I learned I can be with a man and not struggle with deceit issues, that I can enjoy the male body, then go home to my wife and be totally comfortable."

Yes, and that's what most married Men who've communicated with me -- report.

And often, they say that their sex lives with their wives have improved as a result of their male-male connection.

4."if the man is married and has a family, you better have total and open communication about that issue."

Yes -- that's certainly reasonable.

But then we get to

5. "make sure he has read all material on this website, and believes and feels the same way."

Interesting.

Because what I usually tells guys is to ask if the person contacting them has donated to the Alliance.

You know.

The MAN2MAN Alliance.

And if he says Yes -- to ask me if that's true.

Joe, however, couldn't ask that question.

Guess why.

Because he himself has NEVER donated.

Isn't that strange?

I mean, and after all, if he's "read all material on this website," he certainly can't have missed that we need donations.

Just to stay online.

But Joe -- refuses to donate.

Is that due to poverty?

Seems not.

Because, you'll notice, even in the depths of this brutal recession, not only does Joe have a job -- he sent this email from work, he says --

but he and his wife have enough money to have spent a COUPLE -- not one but a COUPLE -- of weeks in Hawaii.

A couple weeks in Hawaii.

Sounds nice, doesn't it?

But then I have a question for Joe:

If you have enough money to spend a couple weeks in Hawaii with the wife -- why don't you have enough money to support the Alliance?

Because, and Truth is, I don't have enough money to go to Hawaii.

I barely have enough money -- and I will swear to this before God and as I am an honest Man -- I barely have enough money to get to the next town.

Just barely.

So why should I have to pay to support Joe's post in Frot Club?

Why?

Or how about Brian Hulme?

He's living off unemployment in Great Britain.

Yet he tithes to the Alliance.

Why should Brian -- have to pay for Joe's ad?

Joe's mooching, isn't he?

And off of guys who are a lot poorer than he is.

He's like all those rich people who don't want to pay taxes.

They don't object to other people paying taxes.

Or getting the services the taxes support.

They just don't want to pay taxes themselves.

And who can blame them?

It's called something for nothing, and everyone likes that.

Except me.

You know what guys?

I have an idea.

Let's put an end to Joe's mooching.

How?

Well, you see, when Joe thought he'd found his LTR, he asked me to remove his Frot Club post.

Which I did.

Now, he'll no doubt want me to put it back up.

NO.

Joe's post is NOT going back up.

Which means, that if Joe wants to meet someone, he'll have to post somewhere else.

And there are other sites.

They're sleazy and tawdry, but they do exist.

Except that -- I just heard from another pseudonym I call Joe -- he's a college kid so I guess we could call him Joe the Younger --

but really, I think the better name for both these "Joe's" would be -- Jerk.

So -- I got a letter from Jerk the Younger in which he said that he'd posted seeking a Frot partner on a number of other sites and gotten, in response, a ton of analist hate mail -- plus a computer virus.

Yet -- when I asked Young Jerk for the names of those sites -- explaining that I'd like to warn our guys about them --

he refused to tell me!!!

Here's our correspondence as I described it in Warrior Mike's Fight the Fight Now! Part I: It takes guts to admit you're attracted to guys:

Bill:

Young Jerk, in some way or another you need to fight back against people who send you that sort of hate mail and call you homophobic and a hater and so forth.

If you don't, you're going to receive that sort of mail and be in the sort of denigrated and minority position you are now -- all your life.

Just the way it is.

Plus, you know, those people are dead wrong.

And it's easy to expose the fallacies in their thinking.

That's why they get so upset and make all those personal attacks.

Because they can't refute what we say.

Once again, Jerky, you need to fight back.

Jerk:

I see what you mean, but I'm so busy with school and work that I don't have time to spend convincing a few dogmatic guys that I have the right to make my own choices about my body, lol.

Bill:

Young Jerk, if you don't make time to fight -- and it's lot more than a few -- dogmatic analists --

you'll soon find that you do NOT have the right to make your own choices about your own body.

Those choices will be taken from you --

I guarantee it.

That's the direction in which society is moving -- and it will keep going.

Jerk:

I'm willing to take the time to invest in a guy that's into frot because I need that in my life.

Bill:

Right -- that's what I call "a private solution" -- and in my very bitter experience -- it never works out.

What you're trying to do Jerk is evade and escape what I call "the life of your time."

But it cannot be evaded.

You'll find that these societal scrictures about top and bottom and "gay" and "straight" and male and female -- will invade your most private moments, your most private solutions --

and take them from you.

I then asked the Young Jerk to consider posting about his experiences in Personal Stories.

And guess what?

I never heard back from him.

Not a word.

Given that -- that Young Jerk didn't reply to my request -- what do you think happened to his Frot Club post?

It was deleted.

Because --

I'm not under any obligation to support people who won't support the Alliance --

and/or who don't have the balls to Fight for themselves and what they believe.

I'm not under any obligation, and neither is the Alliance.

So --

Jerk the Younger and Jerk the Older are gone.

Of course, they can always make amends.

And it would certainly be in their better interest to do so.

But I'm not holding my breath.

Nevertheless, what Jerk the Older says is correct:

Make sure your potential partner and putative male has read all material on this website, and believes and feels the same way.

If he believes and feels the same way, he'll have donated, of course.

And make sure he's done that.

Otherwise, all he's done is -- say he feels the same way.

And as Jerk the Older can tell ya --

Talk is cheap.

Bill Weintraub

July 4, 2011

© All material Copyright 2011 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.