Bill Weintraub

Re: Where do we go from here?

4-1-2006

Hey argethias

I'm glad to see someone eager to take on this fight.

Now I assume that you're new to the Alliance, because as it happens, we've discussed many times on this board what needs to be done and where we go from here.

And I encourage you, as I do everyone, to read as deeply on this board and in Warriors Speak as you can.

There are now more than 400 pages in Warriors Speak -- it's an incredible resource for Frot Men like yourself.

Nevertheless, your question is a good and important one.

What's lacking is not a concrete program, which as I say we've often discussed, but the will to carry it out.

So the question has never been where do we go from here.

The question has always been and remains today --

When will our guys find the courage and common sense to:

1. DONATE

We need donations not simply to keep the sites online but to buy advertising to get our message out.

That's the single most important thing we can do right now.

I've been a gay activist for more than three decades and I've been in this fight for six years.

I know what we need to do.

WE NEED MONEY FOR ADVERTISING.

I've been trying to raise that money for more than three years with no success.

That's why we are where we are.

I've had seven op-eds published over the last six years, and we do get an occasional article like the one which just appeared in OUT.

However, that's not an efficient way to reach the public.

Each of those op-eds and the OUT article represent a tremendous amount of work -- no one by the way has bothered to thank me for working with the folks at OUT to bring that article to fruition -- but they simply don't reach enough people.

Fact is, on the whole the gay press both in print and online censors, and most internet sites censor, any discussion of our views.

And when they don't censor outright, they distort.

The Advocate is a good example -- see Walter Odets, the sex police and the big lie.

While the nongay press doesn't know we exist.

The result: virtually everyone who comes to this site says he "stumbled" on it.

That's not good -- to put it mildly.

There are literally *millions of men* who need and ARE READY to hear our message -- who have not and at this rate never will.

We need the funds to buy advertising.

That is our central need in this moment of the struggle.

If you're not donating, you're not in this fight.

I said in my last post that I needed to see a tenfold increase in the number of donors.

I've seen nothing.

I will not keep these sites open under those conditions.

2. Post the site URL -- www.Man2ManAlliance.org -- wherever appropriate on the web.

Message boards, blogs, ONLINE PROFILES, etc.

Simple, easy to do, and very important.

Yet virtually NONE OF YOU have a link in your online profiles on sites like yahoo, gay dot com, and OutInAmerica.

How do you expect to get anywhere if you won't do that one simple thing?

3. Come out to friends, family, and colleagues as a Frot Man.

And use your real name on this board and in debates.

When ardent analists like Dan Savage have op-eds in the NY Times -- it's nonsense to think you can fight them under an internet pseudonym.

4. Get involved in your Regional Chapter.

Again, I've been trying to get that program off the ground for more than a year; Beagle Jones has offered some great events up in Portland; and you resolutely refuse to participate.

Fist Fuckers of America has regional chapters.

Frot Men don't.

Once again, how can you possibly expect to get anywhere?

You won't put any effort into a Regional Chapter, but you'll send me emails mewling and puking about your inability to find a partner.

Get real.

Like anything else in life, you'll get out of this what you put into it.

As I often say, do nothing, and nothing will change.

And that's what you're doing -- NOTHING.

Now, argethias, in terms of going to bars:

Going to bars and talking to folks is fine, as is talking online.

Unfortunately, it's easy to burn yourself out that way.

Because, as guys like Greg Milliken and David McQuarrie can tell you, you'll run into a lot of opposition.

But you might meet some great guys too.

We do have Frot Symbols:

And you're welcome to put one of those on a tee-shirt so long as it's non-commercial and just for your personal use.

If you're going to go to bars or talk with guys online, I strongly recommend that you look at the Frot debate on gay dot com to see the sort of arguments and personal attacks your opponents will use against you.

And thus at least benefit from the experience of others who've engaged in this debate.

Guys, you're oppressed by analism and the religious right.

But at this point you're also self-oppressed and self-impeded.

We've given you the tools for your liberation -- but you won't use them.

If each of you reading this would:

• Donate.

• Put a link to this site -- www.Man2ManAlliance.org/ -- on every online profile you have and anywhere else appropriate on the web;

• Come out to your family and friends as a man into Frot;

• Participate in the Regional Chapters

-- your lives would improve immeasurably.

But based on past experience, I have no reason to think you'll do that.

The question is why.

Of course a lot of the guys who use this site just want sex.

They have no interest in anything else.

But the bulk of those guys don't read this board either.

So what's wrong with the rest of you -- the tens of thousands who do read this board.

In his most recent and characteristically brilliant post, a reply to the "Procrustean bed" message thread, Robert Loring pointed out that

If you are waiting for the BFD or the church to give you an invitation you'll literally be waiting until hell freezes over!

Right.

The ButtFuck Dictatorship and the church will NEVER help you.

Men who ARE independent and manly ARE constantly attacked because we refuse to be politically correct and stuff ourselves into the societal and religious GARBAGE CANS of modern society. We can wimp-out OR we can FIGHT BACK! Those who are already defeated in their own minds wimp-out. Those who are real WARRIORS FIGHT BACK!

Robert's right.

"Those who are already defeated in their own minds wimp-out."

If you've allowed the combined lies and bullshit of the buttboys and the religious right to defeat you in your mind -- you're in big trouble.

How can you become undefeated?

Well, as I keep saying, this site is a tool for your liberation.

As a first step, you need to read and re-read the posts on this board and in Warriors Speak from all the men who have NOT allowed the BFD to defeat them.

Correspond with those men if you need to.

And let them help you re-find your courage.

You should also train in a martial art / combat sport.

I keep telling you that.

Naked Wrestler keeps posting about the benefits of training.

Sensei Patrick talks about it and can help advise you in finding a dojo.

Again, you don't do it.

But that simple act too would help you -- immeasurably -- refind your courage.

It's your life -- and most of you, at this point, are just throwing it away.

Yet, you all know what your options are.

You can

FIGHT BACK

SAVE YOUR LIFE

or you can bend over and die.

Psychologically, spiritually, physically.

There've been 500,000 deaths in America alone from an anally-vectored disease.

How many more gay and bi men need to die before you'll act?

67% of gay men are infected with anal HPV.

How many more need to be infected before you protest?

How many times do you need to be pressured to do anal before you rebel?

100?

1,000?

1,000,000?

If some guy wanted to fuck you and you went along to get along and you got hep C or an anal fissure -- would you speak out then?

Or would you maintain your decorous silence?

How many times do you need to hear that you're not truly gay or not a real man because you like rubbing cocks?

Or that you're deficient because you're not promiscuous?

Or that you're not really bi, you're just using women to cover up your interest in men?

How many times do you have to hear from your church that any physical expression of affection between two men, no matter how loving and devoted, is a SIN?

When will you find the courage to shout out -- NO -- sodomy's a sin, fornication's a sin, but LOVE between two MEN is a BLESSING and a GOD-GIVEN GIFT!

As Bill S says, "the greatest gift God has given after life and, someday, immortality and eternal life through Jesus Christ."

When will you find the courage to say that to your hate-filled fellow congregants?

How many times do you need to hear, as I observed in my reply to Jim's Procrustean post, that independence and manliness are good things -- but that if you assert your independence and manliness by being into Frot -- you're a bad person?

How many times?

What will it take to move you and overcome your selfishness and meanness?

What will it take?

So: the question is not where do we go from here.

The question is when will you act to defend yourself and your one sweet life?

Again, Robert Loring:

The whole of mankind is in dire need of LIBERATION. The whole of mankind is in dire need of a restoration of manliness! The world awaits you who are the True Warrior who are unafraid to be truly masculine and natural MEN. If you are waiting for the BFD or the church to give you an invitation you'll literally be waiting until hell freezes over!

Right.

The ButtFuck Dictatorship and the church will NEVER help you.

Men who ARE independent and manly ARE constantly attacked because we refuse to be politically correct and stuff ourselves into the societal and religious GARBAGE CANS of modern society. We can wimp-out OR we can FIGHT BACK! Those who are already defeated in their own minds wimp-out. Those who are real WARRIORS FIGHT BACK!

Again, Robert's right.

If you've allowed the combined lies and bullshit of the buttboys and the religious right to defeat you in your mind -- you're in big trouble.

You need to read and re-read the posts on this board and in Warriors Speak from all the men who have NOT allowed the BFD to defeat them.

And re-find your courage.

Fight back -- and fight back now.

Or lose what little chance of happiness you have.

REMINDER: if I don't see a significant increase in donors over the next two weeks, I'll close the sites.

Because continuing to sit here waiting for men to stumble onto the sites, men who sing the praises of the sites but who then churlishly refuse to donate to keep the sites alive for the next man who needs to see them -- makes no sense.

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.

Robert Loring

Re: Where do we go from here?

4-3-2006

Bars are the only place where strangers are allowed to talk to each other? Wow I guess I missed something then as I tend to talk to strangers wherever I go LOL and I DON'T go to bars, gay or straight. Take a chance and try talking to a stranger who is not in a bar. You just might be surprised. I do understand your statement however. We live in a society obsessed with fear and with fear of strangers. We must begin to break the chains of fear and control our fear instead of allowing it to control us.

Sir Robert

Bill Weintraub

Re: Where do we go from here?

4-3-2006

Thanks Robert.

Another great statement.

"We must begin to break the chains of fear and control our fear instead of allowing it to control us."

Beautifully said and true.

So: Robert's right that you can talk to anyone you want to.

And it pays off.

We have a great post on this board which was submitted in March while I was in the hospital, so I haven't given it the attention it deserves.

But it's a very important post which speaks directly to this point:

3-10-2006

Feeling Great

hey guys, it's been a long time since i was here. it was June of last year. since that time, my life has changed greatly because i got to tell and experience (not sexually, hehehe) what it's like to be me, the frot guy, to my officemates, to my friends and new guy friends and to my brother. Dudes, my own brother! (He's straight, and of course, the experience with him was not the sexual type, hehehe!) Our relationship went up to a new level. we got to talk more about each other's lives and i can talk about my life also and i even got to ask him for an advice about a guy that i liked in my office. That was so cool! And he also talked about his friends that were homosexual who weren't so lucky as I was (Man, i was saddened by this)! My officemates can now kid and tease around me, and i say, freely. Of course, the kidding and teasing were not of the disrespectful or degrading type. They were more of an ego-boosting and morale-boosting types. The experience was just so great! The highlight of this whole experience: I met a great guy here on this site!

Thanks (a lot) Bill!

Griffin

blue_athame@excite.com

Thank you Griffin.

So Griffin came out as a FROT MAN to his officemates, friends, and brother.

And it was a great experience for him, which improved his relationships with those people, especially with his brother.

Very cool.

"The highlight of this whole experience: I met a great guy here on this site!"

Right.

One of the reasons I suspect that happened is that Griffin is full of self-confidence and self-respect.

That's very sexy, it's very attractive, it attracts other guys.

Again, that's why I advise you ALL to take a martial art.

Training heightens self-confidence.

But the main thing in this instance is that Griffin found the courage to come out to the people he sees and works with every day.

And his life improved -- greatly!

In the Procrustean message thread and elsewhere, Robert Loring's been talking about guys who are "defeated in their own minds."

Those are the guys who don't donate, who don't post, and who certainly will not come out.

Those men aren't just defeated in their own minds, they're defeated in their lives.

That's why I advise you to read and re-read Robert's post in the "Procrustean bed" message thread.

Read and re-read Griffin's post too.

And No More Fear.

The guys who do well, despite being surrounded by analism and heterosexism, are the guys who are CONFIDENT, FORTHRIGHT, CLEAR, and PRO-ACTIVE.

The guys who don't do well are the guys who, defeated in their own minds, do nothing.

Guys: The problems you face are real.

But many of you are also involved in self-oppression.

You need to fight on both fronts.

FIND YOUR COURAGE

SAVE YOUR LIFE

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.