Bill Weintraub

Re: Thank you so much for this site!!

11-12-2009

Hey Phillyblkfro8,

Thank you for this great letter!

Let's take a look:

Hi, Bill! Finding your site tonight has been a life-changing event for me!

Phillyblkfro8, that's great!

I came out as gay

Okay.

Phillyblkfro8, as you'll come to understand when you've spent more time on our sites, we don't support the "gay" - "straight" categories of so-called sexual orientation.

We know that historically and cross-culturally, most people have been what our culture calls "bi."

And we view "sexual orientation" as an artifact of the process we call heterosexualization.

Phillyblkfro8, what this really comes down to is the difference between sex between men as an activity -- or as a condition.

In examining that difference, what's important for you to understand is that "homosexuality" -- and with it "heterosexuality" -- are very recent concepts among human beings.

In the past, sex between men was an activity -- something guys did.

Since 1869 -- that's just 140 years -- and to varying degree -- sex between men -- has been considered a condition -- "homosexuality."

That idea is wrong.

In reality, people in the past had it right: sex between men is an activity -- something guys normally and naturally do.

Phillyblkfro8, the idea of male-male affection, intimacy, sex, and love as a condition -- first called "homosexuality" and then called "sexual orientation" -- is a function of an historical process we call heterosexualization.

And we need to talk about that a bit more.

So, and like I said, the terms "homosexuality" and "homosexual" were coined 140 years ago in an effort -- a successful effort -- to turn what had been an activity -- sex between men -- into a disease -- "homosexuality."

What that meant was that just as, in the 19th century, there were people who were "tubercular," and who suffered from the disease called "tuberculosis"; so now there were to be males who were said to be "homosexual," and who would be said to suffer from the disease called "homosexuality."

That was a tremendous shift in the way human beings thought about sex.

Again, it turned what had been an activity -- sex between guys -- into a condition, a medical condition, an illness, a disease, for which doctors would then seek a cure.

And this shift, which was a "paradigm shift," a significant change in cultural norms, coincided with the historical process we call heterosexualization:

the destruction of same-gender spaces and relationships, and their conversion to almost exclusively mixed-gender spaces and relationships.

And this too was a tremendous shift in the way people lived.

And the practical effect of the combination of heterosexualization and the development of the concept of "homosexuality" was to isolate and ghettoize Men who engaged in any sort of same-sex affection, intimacy, and love.

Now -- the American Psychiatric Association removed "homosexuality" from its list of mental disorders in 1973.

Which meant that "homosexuality" was no longer a mental illness.

But the concept -- that there was something fundamentally different about "men who had sex with men" -- persisted.

And the result was the categories of sexual orientation --

which I refer to as homosexuality's evil twin.

Because, in their effects, those categories are EVIL, and they're DIRECTLY related to the previous categories of "homosexual" and "homosexuality."

So -- "homosexuality" as a cultural concept was originally a condition -- a sickness -- a diseased way of being;

while "gay" is a "sexual orientation" and also a condition, the idea of which emerged out of "homosexuality," and, which, like the condition known as "homosexuality," is predicated upon the notion that any affection, intimacy, sex, and/or love between Men is a "deviation" from an alleged "heterosexual" norm.

As I said, the concept of "homosexuality" appears as society is beginning to heterosexualize.

While the concept of "sexual orientation" appears as heterosexualization triumphs -- and forces traditional understandings of Masculinity and Femininity underground.

The two poles of "sexual orientation" -- "gay" and "straight" -- work then to drive the male away from his Natural Masculinity:

to divorce Masculinity not only from same-sex love and affection; but also from Aggression -- Fighting Spirit -- Courage -- Virtue -- which is how Masculinity has traditionally been defined and demarcated.

Under heterosexualization, and the categories of sexual orientation, Masculinity is no longer to be defined by Fighting Spirit -- by Courage and Virtue --

but by a single sexual act:

penile-vaginal penetration.

This radical re-definition of "masculinity" is hideously destructive, and many of our modern ills, both male and female, derive directly from it.

So: historically, Phillyblkfro8, Masculinity has not been about "sexual orientation" --

but about Fighting Spirit.

And it needs to be again.

Now, let's get back to your letter.

You were saying that you "came out"

about two years ago to some friends and family, met a man, fell in love, tried anal sex, but found it unsatisfying, tedious, and sometimes painful.

Yes, that's what anal is -- and that's at best.

My lover could get himself into me, but I could never really "get it up" into him.

Phillyblkfro8, that speaks well of you.

Your site has helped me come to terms with what I really like and really, have always wanted-frot!!!!

That's great! -- And Phillyblkfro8 that too speaks well of you.

Chest to chest, mouth to mouth, gut to gut, cock2cock...man what a turn on!!!

Yes it sure is.

Since frot is what I want, that's what I'll be asking and looking for,

Right -- and that's very very important.

Don't "settle" for anything other than what you want.

If Frot is what you want -- go for it.

And don't ever do anal again.

It's dangerous.

And it's pointless to become infected or suffer mechanical damage doing something you don't even like.

Yet many have.

So -- let our sites empower you to seek out that which you want, and which is natural and organic for Men -- Frot.

and as you and others on your site say-I'll be looking for it with one man!

Right!

That too is very important.

Promiscuity is part of analism.

Have no part of it.

Be a Man -- which is what you were meant to be.

Thanks so much!!!

Phillyblkfro8, you're very welcome, and I'm very glad we can be here for you.

And welcome to the Alliance!

Bill Weintraub

PS

Guys, Phillyblkfro8 has a Frot Club post.

If you live near Philly, maybe you should take a look.

Guys, in a follow-up letter, Phillyblkfro8 said

Your speaking of sexual orientation ... made me think and remember some things I've read over the past two years. I'm hardly an expert on these things, but I've read that the ancient world had no such terms and classifications as are used today-there was no gay, straight, bi; for instance, the ancient Greeks knew that there were men sexually and romantically attracted to other men (it's in their mythology-even among their gods). You've probably read about the romance between Richard the Lion-heart and the king of France, which, by the way, was celebrated by the known world(10Th, 11Th century?) at that time.

You're right about human beings being "bi"-my time with a therapist showed me that. Hardly any of us lean completely toward one sex or another. Sexuality is much more complex than that, I've learned. So, again, thanks for what you wrote to me. ...

By the by, and in all fairness, I should point this out-the man I was in love with never forced me to do anything sexually that I wasn't comfortable with, but I felt I needed to please him, and try anal sex for his and my own sake. As I said before, I got little pleasure out of it, but thought that it was just a matter of time before I began to reap the pleasures of butt-fucking. ...

And guys I want to address what Phillyblkfro8 said:

Your speaking of sexual orientation, on the contrary, made me think and remember some things I've read over the past two years. I'm hardly an expert on these things, but I've read that the ancient world had no such terms and classifications as are used today-there was no gay, straight, bi; for instance, the ancient Greeks knew that there were men sexually and romantically attracted to other men(it's in their mythology-even among their gods).

Right.

It was considered normal and natural for Men to Love other Men.

Phillyblkfro8, we have a great many articles and posts on this Personal Stories board and in the Heroes section of the site regarding the Greeks and the ancient world in general, including these:

• The Greeks

• Hoplites

• The Warrior Bond

• Nude Combat

• Xystarchy

• And now a few words from Publius Papinius Statius

• The Comradeship of Wounds

• Achilles on Scyros

• The Mingling of Their Bones

• sweat the sacrament of naked valour

• his valour plain to see

And a seven-part series on the Spartan Agogé:

• AGOGE I: The Spear-Points of Young Men Blossom There

• AGOGE II: Flesh and Spirit

• AGOGE III: The Longing for Masculinity

• AGOGE IV: Excellence, Honor, and the Molding of Men

• AGOGE V: A Nation of Heroes: State-education in Sparta

• AGOGE VI: The Strife of Valour: Austerity and Equality at Sparta

• AGOGE VII: Two Spearmen

And there are other articles listed on the Heroes Site Guide.

You've probably read about the romance between Richard the Lion-heart and the king of France, which, by the way, was celebrated by the known world(10Th, 11Th century?) at that time.

Right.

You're right about human beings being "bi"-my time with a therapist showed me that. Hardly any of us lean completely toward one sex or another. Sexuality is much more complex than that, I've learned. So, again, thanks for what you wrote to me.

Phillyblkfro8, you're very welcome.

By the by, and in all fairness, I should point this out-the man I was in love with never forced me to do anything sexually that I wasn't comfortable with, but I felt I needed to please him, and try anal sex for his and my own sake.

Yes.

And while, Phillyblkfro8, I'm glad your partner didn't force you, it's one of the hallmarks of a dominant culture that it uses cultural messages and peer pressure to get people to, in effect, self-oppress.

So, while your partner wasn't forcing you, *you* felt that you "needed to please him, and try anal sex for his and my own sake."

And that's a true triumph of the dominant culture.

It persuades you to oppress yourself.

Doesn't require your bf to do it to you.

You do it to yourself.

All dominant cultures work that way.

I know that many guys have trouble with the idea of culture influencing sexual acts -- but it does.

And analism is a textbook case of a dominant culture.

Every letter I receive tells me so.

As I said before, I got little pleasure out of it, but thought that it was just a matter of time before I began to reap the pleasures of butt-fucking.

Right -- because again, that's the cultural message about anal:

If you don't enjoy it the first time, or the second, or the twenty-second, keep doing it -- because eventually you'll like it.

That's one of the ways hundreds of thousands of men in the US alone became infected with HIV.

So, again, our message is --

Trust your feelings, stay true to your Dream.

If your Dream is a committed relationship with another Man, another Warrior, which centers on Phallus Against Phallus -- stay true to that.

Don't let yourself be seduced away from it by the blandishments of the analists, which are always false, and often deadly.

The Way of the Warrior, Phillyblkfro8, rigorous, austere, and equal -- is the Way of Salvation.

Phillyblkfro8, thank you again.

And guys, since we're in the middle of a fund-raiser, let me point out that we get many many letters like Phillyblkfro8's.

Not all the letters are suitable for posting, but more often, guys don't want them posted.

And you have to understand that for every person who does write, there are literally thousands who see the site and agree -- but who don't write.

Because that's just how it is.

Most people aren't willing to put themselves out there on this issue -- or most issues.

As a matter of fact, there's a rule about that in activism and community organizing, and it goes like this:

If you hand out 1000 notices about a community meeting -- let's say, about crime in your neighborhood -- 100 people might show up for the meeting itself.

And of those 100, 10 might sign a sheet offering to volunteer.

And of those 10, 1 *might* -- and I emphasize "might" -- actually do something.

Yes, that's right, out of a thousand, ONE -- might -- actually do something.

On the internet, of course, the number of "notices" you can hand out -- which on the internet takes the form of links, and that's why LINKING TO THIS SITE -- http://www.Man2ManAlliance.org -- is SO IMPORTANT --

on the internet, the number of notices is much higher.

But that doesn't mean the number of people who'll do something is higher.

It's actually lower, because it takes a lot less committment to click on a link than it does to go to an actual meeting.

So -- my educated guess is that of 10,000 guys -- at least -- who visit the Alliance and are MOVED and HELPED by its message the way Phillyblkfro8 was --

only ONE -- in this case Phillyblkfro8 -- will say so.

And of course, Phillyblkfro8 did, and for that he deserves your thanks and the thanks of his fellow Men.

But I ask YOU to think of ALL THE THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF GUYS like Phillyblkfro8 who are ready and eager to hear our life-giving message of hope and renewal -- and

Donate.

Help them, help yourself.

Fight Back.

Save your life.

Bill Weintraub

November 12, 2009

© All material Copyright 2009 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.