Posts
from


The Weight Room




WARRIOR NAKED WRESTLER

Naked Wrestler

The Weight Room

3-24-2007

For some reason, we used to have to say Hail Mary and Our Father prayers at the beginning of PE.

My freshman year of high school was my first experience with "sports" really. I had tried soccer one year (6th grade I think) and that didn't work out too good. Mom took my brother and me to practices and games, but dad never took us. In retrospect, I realize that boys really need an older male to get them into stuff like sports to make it work right. And maybe because of that, I didn't have it for what I later called the "chase-a-ball-around" sports..

The first part of the school year in PE was skins and shirts touch football. It was more like throw the little guys (like me) into the mud once the ball is in motion. I had no idea what was going on in that game and I was just one of those guys forced to be in on it because that was what boys PE was about: "Get in there and do the male thing; this is Boys PE." Rough and Tumble is good for a young man, boy, whatever I was at 14.

At 14 I was totally buffed--It was the spic and the wop in me (and a whole lot of other genes in me). In my PE class I could take off my shirt and show off pecs, abs, biceps, shoulders, lats, etc. I had that, w/o ever touching weights in my life up to that point. And I had played almost no sports, so it had to be DNA I figured.

I used to get a boner just looking at myself in the mirror. I'd try to put the thought out of my mind constantly. I had been told (and it was constantly alluded to) that your boner should spring up instantly at the thought of girls' tits, and the thought of fucking and being around females constantly. And I can remember feeling so...less of a male, because females were not what got me going. MY boner got hard in an instant, at 14, at the thought of aggression and body contact with another dude--like the dude I saw in the mirror w/ my shirt off.

Wrestling a guy in PE class that year, and the feel of our pecs and abs touching got me a really hard boner, I remember. And I felt ashamed about that for a long time, due to the upbringing I'd had. The allusion had always been that, attraction for other guys made you less of a male, and not worthy of the right to be aggressive. Like I wasn't all male or something.

The thought of another dude next to me, naked in the shower room (the few guys lucky enough to be Italian/Latin early developers like me) in the PE class could get my cock hard and ready to shoot a load in seconds.

Girls? Well they were for something else, having kids or something. They just didn't seem to me to be what I wanted to hang around with...

Well, the PE activities we had tended to pretty much follow what was "in season" at the time. And the PE coaches wanted the guys to experience different sports. But again, sports that were about chasing a ball around seemed to me to be irrelevant--with the exception of Sock-um. In Sock-um it was a cool thrill to risk being hit by a ball from the other guys on the other side of the line, and have the thrill of throwing the rubber ball at one of THEM ... As you moved up to the line with your weapon (red rubber ball) in hand, the other guys backed away. It was the thrill of 2 battle lines; and if you got hit you were out of the game. We did play that game in PE indoors after football season was over and PE had moved inside.

It WAS a male sport, it was about aggression and it was shirtless, sweaty and sometimes it was bloody. I liked it a LOT. Experiencing masculinity and aggression felt like life was really worth living and going after. When I went home after school everyday I would often feel unworthy of my maleness for being sexually turned on by the thought of the enjoyment of aggression among the other young males back at school PE class...

It was unbelievable confusion.

If I'd only realized then, how truly Normal that was to be attracted to the guys I was competing with.

Then, one day there was the weight room.

The PE coach ordered all the boys in our 3rd period PE class (he referred to all of us as "Men") into a big storage room, located one floor above the boys locker room.

Now, in the 70's most high school boys were thin. We just were NOT fat kids like you see EVERYWHERE today. And there were a number of reasons for that. So anyway, 100 skinny boys could easily squish into this room with ease plus the weights and a couple of PE teachers.

In the center of the room was an old, 6-sided, chrome plated, military weight machine. We had never been in this room before and we had never seen this thing. On one side of the room, there were also some bar bells and dumb bells. ALL OF IT was junk weight room equipment, by today's standards.

(Up until the day that a guy by the name of Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to legitimize "body building" as an accepted activity, being anyway associated with such equipment as weights for improving your physical appearance was associated with homosexuality, or worse: communism.

It took a foreigner (Arnold) to clear up that nonsense notion.)

So all the boys piled around the muscle machine in the room. Some of us sat up against the unpainted concrete walls. On one side there was a small window looking down onto one of the school parking lots...There was a pair of fluorescent light tubes hanging from the very tall ceiling....We were going to get a lecture from our fat PE coach.

"Men," he began, "this is our weight room. This is called a military weight machine. And over there are some bar weights. We are all going to learn how to use this equipment."

Then, came the bomb shell that I will ALWAYS remember:

"Now, up to this time it was generally believed that lifting weights was something that only the gay people did. Since the gay people always want to look good for the each other, for whenever they do, whatever it is that they do, with each other. The gay men want to look good for each other and have big muscles for each other and such so they have been the ones to use equipment like this as far back as we can remember."

I froze.

You could hear a pin drop in that small room. My mind drifted as I sat still, mentally trembling with fear--like fear of the Nazis, or the boogy man or something.

I was instantly afraid that being a faggot could be almost punishable by death--by the folks who ran this school. And that your parents would be all for it.

My mind drifted some more:

I could remember, as a pre-high schooler, being drawn to the little ads in the back pages of Popular Mechanics magazines, showing a guy with huge pecs, abs, arms. All you had to do back then was send $3 to the address in super small print, to get the booklet they were selling on how to look like that muscle man in the little pic. I remember wanting that booklet soooo bad. I might have even masturbated a couple times just looking at the little pic of the muscle dude. I had wanted to look like that; I had wanted to be around guys like that.

"We now realize," the fat coach continued, "that using weights and doing exercises like these is no longer just for the gay people. It is 'now' OK for anyone, including normal people, to use machines like these and to exercise with weights. Having bigger muscles is not just for Homosexuals anymore. We have found in sports that these exercises can help us in our sports such as football, wrestling and even basketball."

The adrenaline and fear must have been pumping through me I think, for I can remember every word of his "gay people speech" that morning, in that room. And, no boy spoke a word in that room that morning.

When he was done, EVERYONE filed out of there, without a word. You didn't want to be associated with faggot weights, and faggot weight rooms.

That pretty much killed the desire for any of us to go to that room, ever.

You didn't want to be thought of as one of the Gay People in the weight room.

Our fat PE coach was a jerk.

He was such a dick head.

He was such a terrible male role model.

Fortunately things changed by the time I got to college.

Naked Wrestler


Bill Weintraub

Re: The Weight Room

3-25-2007

Thank you Naked Guy.

Naked Wrestler aka NW's story is taken up again in aggression and the beauty of guys.

And there's a complete list of his articles at the end of this message thread.

The 1950s, 60s, and 70s were without question the most homophobic era in American history and almost certainly in the history of the world.

Weights and weight training had actually been around since the 19th century.

There were a number of noted strongmen, like Sandow, and I doubt that "physical culture" in that era was associated with "homosexuality."

Here are a couple photos from At Ease, and you can see that there were weights on American ships during WW II.

So, most likely, the association of weight-lifting with homosexuality took off in the 1950s through magazines like Athletic Model Guild:

And peaked in the 1970s, when unfortunately for NW, he was in high school.

Now I want to come back to what NW said about the game Sock-Um -- because that's really the crux of the matter:

It WAS a male sport, it was about aggression and it was shirtless, sweaty and sometimes it was bloody. I liked it a LOT. Experiencing masculinity and aggression felt like life was really worth living and going after.

When I went home after school everyday I would often feel unworthy of my maleness for being sexually turned on by the thought of the enjoyment of aggression among the other young males back at school PE class...

Basically what we see here are two conflicting ideas about manliness and masculinity, and which are emblematic of the conflict between NATURAL Masculinity and social masculinity.

Natural Masculinity, remember, flows naturally from the male's sense of himself as a Man, from his aggression, and from his natural and normal same-sex desires.

Those are the components of Natural Masculinity.

The "same-sex desire" part is NOT limited to "gay" men.

Here's my foreign friend:

My experiences of working with young men for the past 10 years plus my experiences of living in a traditional society show that male sexual desire for men cannot be tied down to a minority group. Rather it is a universal male phenomenon, especially strong amongst masculine gendered men --- unlike what the west propagates. It also seems that the male phobia against such bonds in America is mostly socially engineered and partly a media hype.

I think male sexual bonds are an important part of masculinity that must be made available to all men (and not just a specific group) --- especially in their youth --- and with suiting masculine pride. Depriving men of this amounts to robbing them of their true natural masculinity.

So: Same-sex desire is part of being a MAN.

A Naturally Masculine Man.

Again, the three components of Natural Masculinity are

1. a sense of yourself as a Man;

2. aggression;

3. same-sex desire.

And we hear those expressed very neatly by NW in this first paragraph:

It WAS a male sport, it was about aggression and it was shirtless, sweaty and sometimes it was bloody. I liked it a LOT. Experiencing masculinity and aggression felt like life was really worth living and going after.

"Experiencing masculinity and aggression" -- that is to say, experiencing and living out his Natural Masculinity -- made NW feel "like life was really worth living and going after."

It left him elated.

But:

When I went home after school everyday I would often feel unworthy of my maleness for being sexually turned on by the thought of the enjoyment of aggression among the other young males back at school PE class...

NW's good feelings about his masculine self -- his feelings of elation brought on by his Natural Masculinity -- were essentially destroyed by the definitions contained within his society's version of "social masculinity."

"Social masculinity," unlike Natural Masculinity, does NOT flow naturally from the male's sense of being a man, but is rather imposed upon him by his society or culture.

In our culture, a man must never be sexually turned on, as NW was, by other men or by his enjoyment of aggression among those men.

In our culture, a man's sex drive must be aimed solely at women.

NW:

I had been told (and it was constantly alluded to) that your boner should spring up instantly at the thought of girls' tits, and the thought of fucking and being around females constantly.

"I had been TOLD..."

It's not that boys will not experience arousal around girls on their own.

It's that the exclusive emphasis and engineered peer pressure around that arousal distorts the lives of the boys -- and the girls -- and results, as my foreign friend says, in boys saying NO to boys and Yes to girls; when they'd rather say YES to boys, and No to girls.

That is a consequence of "social masculinity."

Not Natural Masculinity.

Social masculinity, as my foreign friend says, induces a socially engineered phobia around same-sex desires.

And you see that clearly in the reaction of NW and his classmates to the coach's little speech about gay people and weight-lifting:

No boy spoke a word in that room that morning.

When he was done, EVERYONE filed out of there, without a word. You didn't want to be associated with faggot weights, and faggot weight rooms.

That pretty much killed the desire for any of us to go to that room, ever.

You didn't want to be thought of as one of the Gay People in the weight room.

The paradox is, that as the ancients knew, forcing sex into a hetero mold has the effect of effeminizing males.

Which is why they didn't do it.

We can see what happens when the male's masculinity is allowed to develop naturally by looking at people like the Spartans and their agoge, in which boys lived together in small groups and began forming erotic bonds with each other in early adolescence.

Encouraged to do so by their elders.

Those bonds did not stop them from marrying later in life, and fathering children.

Nor did those bonds prevent them from loving their wives.

But they were without question more completely Masculine and Naturally Masculine than are boys and men like NW who have been forced, throughout their lives, to suppress their Natural masculinity.

So the distinction between

NATURAL MASCULINITY

and

Social Masculinity

is not merely very important.

It's crucial.

Please please please -- for your own sake -- try to understand it.

Our society's definition of social masculinity -- with its emphasis on exclusive heterosex, its denigration of homosex, and its essentially consumerist version and vision of masculinity which you can see reflected in exhortations to drink Coors beer and drive Dodge trucks -- is tremendously destructive.

That's not what masculinity is.

And that's why we're in so much trouble.

Because Masculinity is defined as something that it isn't.

And any discussion of true, Natural Masculinity, is censored and silenced.

Remember what my foreign friend says:

[Male sexual desire for other men] is a universal male phenomenon, especially strong amongst masculine gendered men --- unlike what the west propagates. It also seems that the male phobia against such bonds in America is mostly socially engineered and partly a media hype.

So: Male-male sexual desire "is a universal male phenomenon, especially strong amongst masculine gendered men"

Which is what NW is.

He's a masculine-identified guy who enjoys natural and normal male aggression -- particularly fight sports.

"It also seems that the male phobia against such [same-sex] bonds in America is mostly socially engineered and partly a media hype."

That's correct.

We can see the media hype in everything from movies and TV to, like I said, ads for Coors and Dodge Ram trucks.

The socially-engineered part is complex and subtle -- sometimes; other times, it's blatant, as it was when NW's coach talked about weight-lifting being for queers.

But either way, the "male phobia against such bonds in America is mostly socially engineered" -- that is to say, it's a reflection of SOCIAL Masculinity.

And has nothing to do, other than destructively, with

NATURAL MASCULINITY.

IT IS CRITICAL FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THESE DISTINCTIONS AND THE ROLE THEY'VE PLAYED IN YOUR LIVES.

Otherwise, NONE OF YOU, whether you're gay-identified, or straight-identified, will ever be FREE.

You will be SLAVES all of your lives.

Men used to be born free.

Today males are born enslaved, and only through hard work throughout their lifetimes can they hope to free themselves to be MEN.

Here's Frances:

There's something unsettling to me about the idea of a sub-culture. That implies hiddenness, other. Homosex seems to be part and parcel of warriordom. If you want the warrior, you take the homosex. If you don't want the homosex, as our culture most emphatically does not, well then don't expect any warriors. I have a feeling that the real hidden message that they can never speak is really "we don't want the warriors." Frot takes away the fear of effeminancy, and the blessed scourge of disease which are such potent tools to warn off boys from even thinking about bonding with another boy, in the deep way that the ancients understood, and that the analists mock. Gay culture is the best tool ever invented against warriordom.

As usual, Frances is right in every particular.

"Sub-culture implies hiddenness, other."

Exactly.

"If you want the warrior, you take the homosex. ... the real hidden message that they can never speak is really 'we don't want the warriors.' "

That's right.

Our society doesn't want Warriors.

Because Warriors can't be controlled.

"Frot takes away the fear of effeminancy, and the blessed scourge of disease which are such potent tools to warn off boys from even thinking about bonding with another boy, in the deep way that the ancients understood, and that the analists mock. Gay culture is the best tool ever invented against warriordom."

That's right.

The ancients understood the importance of the bonds between men.

And they understood that only free men could freely bond.

So Spartan men were free.

Was there a social component to their definition of masculinity?

Sure -- because there almost always is.

But the way Spartan male -- and female -- life was set up, boys got to live with other boys and youths from the ages of 7 to 30 -- and during that time, they were encouraged to be involved in two quintessentially NATURALLY MASCULINE activities -- aggression / fighting; and forming an erotic bond with another Warrior.

Spartan females by the way, were also encouraged to be athletic and to some degree aggressive.

They had the right to inherit property -- something which Aristotle, who believed that women were inherently inferior to men, harshly condemned in his description of the Spartan constitution.

And Spartan women we feel certain were allowed and encouraged to form romantic relationships with each other.

We hear about that in Plutarch; but another place we can see it is in the poetry of Alcman, a 7th century BC Spartan poet who wrote choral pieces for both boys and girls.

These are lyrics which would have been sung or chanted on holidays and during initiation rites.

Most of what little has survived are the pieces for girls, and they're clearly homo-erotic:

For abundance of purple is not sufficient for protection, nor intricate snake of solid gold, no, nor Lydian headband, pride of dark-eyed girls, nor the hair of Nanno, nor again godlike Areta nor Thylacis and CleŽsithera; nor will you go to Aenesimbrota's and say, 'If only Astaphis were mine, if only Philylla were to look my way and Damareta and lovely Ianthemis'; no, Hagesichora wears me out [with love]."

~fr. 1, vv. 64-77; trans. Campbell.

"...I were to see whether perchance she were to love me. If only she came nearer and took my soft hand, immediately I would become her suppliant."

~ fr. 3, vv. 79-81; trans. Campbell

Fact is, as one feminist commented, that the Spartan aristocratic communists treated women a lot better than the Athenian democratic oligarchs.

What about the guys?

There's a lot of early Greek lyric poetry devoted to guys, but Alcman's didn't survive.

I bet it was hot.

Nevertheless, what we see is a society in which Men live in homosocial groups virtually their entire lives, and in all-male groups which are set up around

Warrior aggression

Warrior love

That's what the agoge was.

And when it was over, as Forrest points out, the guys spent the rest of their lives focused on their all-male messes, with whom they ate, trained, fought, and just hung out.

That's typical of the way Men lived for millenia.

As Forrest also points out.

I thank NW for his post.

The sad thing is, that it's taken NW YEARS to get back to where he was when he played Sock-Um as a kid:

It WAS a male sport, it was about aggression and it was shirtless, sweaty and sometimes it was bloody. I liked it a LOT. Experiencing masculinity and aggression felt like life was really worth living and going after.

Today, he's been able to find those experiences in mixed martial arts / UFC-style fighting.

But it's taken him many many years -- 30, to be exact -- to get back to where he was.

And NW's unusual in this group, in that he's actually made the effort to do that.

The rest of you don't, and then wonder why you're so unhappy all the time.

Don't you?

Here's a suggestion:

Listen to what I'm telling you; and

FIGHT BACK

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2007 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.




Also by Naked Wrestler:

aggression and the beauty of guys;

The Warrior Male;

Full Mount Fight;

Men being Men;

Wrestling Rides -- Get to know your man;

Hip Control in Pankration.

The MAN Area II

MAN SPACE;

MANBALLS;

the Man area;

balls and the man;

Fighting is good;

Freeballing is good;

Fighting is Man. Man is Good;

MANPHOBIA -- Fired for being into UFC;

balls against balls;

Fighting is Man;

The Ultimate in Man to Man; and

Cockfuckin Man to Man.

Plus replies to many posts, including

touching penises when hugging; and

Go Shirtless: In support of a brother!!


Add a reply to this discussion

Back to Personal Stories








AND


Warriors Speak is presented by The Man2Man Alliance, an organization of men into Frot

To learn more about Frot, ck out What's Hot About Frot

Or visit our FAQs page.


Warriors Speak Home

Cockrub Warriors Site Guide

The Man2Man Alliance

Heroic Homosex

Frot Men

Heroes

Frot Club

Personal Stories

| What's Hot About Frot | Hyacinthine Love | THE FIGHT | Kevin! | Cockrub Warriors of Mars | The Avenger | Antagony | TUFF GUYZ | Musings of a BGM into Frot | Warriors Speak | Ask Sensei Patrick | Warrior Fiction | Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution |
| Heroes Site Guide | Toward a New Concept of M2M | What Sex Is |In Search of an Heroic Friend | Masculinity and Spirit |
| Jocks and Cocks | Gilgamesh | The Greeks | Hoplites! | The Warrior Bond | Nude Combat | Phallic, Masculine, Heroic | Reading |
| Heroic Homosex Home | Cockrub Warriors Home | Heroes Home | Story of Bill and Brett Home | Frot Club Home |
| Definitions | FAQs | Join Us | Contact Us | Tell Your Story |

© All material on this site Copyright 2001 - 2010 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.